Why, Bollywood, Why?

I have nothing else to do but ask the following stars one question: Why?

Why does the Heroine promo not excite me? Why does it look like an extension of Fashion? Why does it look like it lacks a plot?



Why was Mr. Amitabh Bachchan asked to run with the Olympic torch? What has his contribution to the sporting world been?

Why does Sherlyn Chopra think she deserves a Bharat Ratna Award after she posed nude for Playboy?

Why is Sunny Leone wearing clothes in Jism 2 when she plays a porn star?

Why do Saif Ali Khan and Kareena Kapoor think that news of their wedding happening and then not happening is such a big deal?

Why does Aamir Khan think we'll miss Sunday mornings without him vis-a-vis SMJ?

 Any answers cause I'm stumped.

AK and his SMJ

In his better days (?)

I’m gonna turn cynic for a day—which is kinda sorta outta order for me, but oh well. I’ll admit it, I found myself totally and completely bowled over by Aamir Khan and his Satyameva Jayante. I knew the otherwise rather shaant Khan was going to take on rather iffy subjects and attack the Indian sentiment in hopes to awaken their otherwise asleep conscious. So it started with a bang and most of us went on taali maaro and seeti bajao. Yes, we knew about these burning issues, female infoeticide, dowry, domestic abuse and so on, but via SMJ, we were forced to take a deeper look at these issues at 11 AM on a Sunday morning—provided you were awake and not sleeping off a wretched hangover. But then something happened. It went stale. Here were are a few weeks later and when SMJ time comes around every week, SMJ cynics go haywire while the cheerleaders find themselves pasting last week’s tweets but not before they change the hashtag.

But did Aamir just fool us all this while? Were we just excited at the sheer novelty that it presented to us, Indians who are always on the lookout for something zara hatke. In reality, if you think about it, SMJ screamed tai tai phiss from the get go. For starters, that sorry set. How Aamir Khan, who is otherwise well known for putting together everything with perfection, manages to jut out such a dreary dull set which looks like it has depression issues, is beyond me. The set in itself asks for sympathy; can you really blame us for feeling like we really must shed tears every Sunday?

This may sound rather awful, but SMJ is not path-breaking television. Such formats are currently ongoing on a number of alternate Hindi channels. The difference? None of them have the backing of a well-known celebrity playing host or the backing of any big Indian companies. And the subjects chosen are often ones we’ve been told about repeatedly. This doesn’t mean that they shouldn’t be handled but at least tell us something we don’t know.

And before you think I’m all about being a Debbie Downer, let me tell you I don’t think it’s all that bad. I like the fact Khan has taken serious panga with the local doctors and the panchayat. That was cool. And I absolutely love the music of the show—Sona Mohapatra rocks every week as does the title track which provide more inspiration on days that the show fails to do so. Oh, and I love that it's all in Hindi.

Aamir has announced a season two for SMJ and here’s hoping that he will change a few things and mix it up so we’re not as inclined to troll the show. And while he’s at it, can someone please get him a new stylist? His clothes make me cry.

Doctor KK Talwar of the Medical Council of India,

You are a disgusting man. How dare you sit on a public platform and act like you’re doing the country a favor by merely existing? Did you not feel even an ounce of remorse for every single person whose life has been destroyed by the malpractice of sick doctors? And when you were question by Aamir Khan as to a commitment, you simply shook your head. Sick. We all saw you looking to run out the nearest studio door as a wave of guilt came your way. Your hesitation and lack words towards making any changes, or reform, is unacceptable. You’ve been in office for nine months. Is that not enough time for you to have made any changes?

I was totally shocked by your inadequacy to answer even simply questions which any Chairman of a medical council should/would know. How on earth should we expect any changes in Indian healthcare when you have no idea as to how many doctor’s licenses have been revoked. I could have told you that and I have close to zero knowledge about the Indian healthcare system except that it is in dire need of reform. How should I, an aam aadmi, be expected to understand the policies of the MCI when you are unable to comprehend them yourself?

I’d love to take a peek at your bank account over the last nine months. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if overnight, you’ve found yourself X amount times richer courtesy of all the ‘work’ you’ve done. Look, I’m not saying that it is your solo job to eradicate corruption from the medical field, but for heaven’s sake, make some bloody changes. When the women of a village find themselves devoid of a uterus, then really, some real big changes need to take place and now.

Post the show, I sat to google the reactions that people had towards your appearance on Satyamev Jayante. The consensus was clear: you are nothing but a sham. The manner in which you presented yourself and the MCI was simply disgusting. As an Indian, I expect nothing from you, nor do I expect any changes from the MCI.

I believe that change will only happen in the generation that follows. It is through them that hopefully we will see changes in the Indian healthcare system. Until then, I hope that the citizens of India, who have lost loved ones, body parts and those who are still footing huge bills after no fault of their own, realize ultimately, as usual, they will have to take things into their own hands.

Apparently, you’ve been felicitated with a number of awards and recognition too. But for what? You reek of corruption, deceit and guilt.

Gross.

Is it Ta-Ta, Bye-Bye for Priyanka Chopra?

I think this piece needs a disclaimer before anything else. So here is.

The Disclaimer: I am NOT a Priyanka Chopra hater. Really. Not at all.

That said Piggy Chops is in a bit of a tight spot sadly. She finds herself devoid of actors who are willing to star with her courtesy of her rather iffy ways. Now if we get started, we’ll be here for ages. But in a nutshell, Akshay Kumar and Shah Rukh Khan cannot star with her anymore after both their wives have expressed their discomfort towards her “close proximity” towards the men. In turn, Hrithik Roshan has decided he too will keep afar from Chopra Madam after SRK’s wife, who happens to his Roshan’s wife’s best friend, made it clear she didn’t like PC. Salman Khan and Ajay Devgan have had issues with her for ages now while Abhishek Bachchan chooses to keep his distance from her after some award ceremony song choice hoopla. Saif Ali Khan stays away because of Bebo. Shahid Kapoor, her ex-beau, chooses to keep her far and wide for obvious reasons while Aamir Khan sees no reason to star with her. Lastly, there is Ranbir Kapoor who doesn’t want his pairing with her to go stale and so will not sign anymore films with her. Not for a while at least.

The above actors are considered Bollywood’s A-listers which means she’s left with a handful of unpopular actors to work with. Not exactly a good situation for PC, no?

But fikaar not, Priyanka, you’ve been voted number 69 on Ask Men UK’s Top 99 Women of 2012. P.C. fans rejoice quickly before I absolutely shred this piece of nonsense. Done? Ho gaya? So basically this piece is nothing but a farce because this list also has includes Sunny Leone and Frieda Pinto. Need I say more? But let’s get down into the nitty-gritty’s of it. AskMen UK claim she makes the list because of her talent. Done; that she is. But very quickly, I’d like to remind everyone that the last hit film Priyanka had was back in 2008. Post then, she’s had a string of flops: Kaminey, What’s Your Raashee?, Pyaar Impossible, Anjaana Anjaani, 7 Khoon Maaf and Don 2. Agneepath was all about Hrithik Roshan, Rishi Kapoor and Sanjay Dutt; let’s be honest here.

So Nosy!

And then, they go on to describe her quite aptly, “bee-stung lips, coffee-coloured eyes and voluptuous, hourglass figure…” But hold up, “bee-stung lips?” More like Botox filled courtesy of plastic surgeon Daddy Chopra. And how could they forget to mention her nose job which has completely changed her profile – trust me, I’ve paid very close attention. But all this is fine. It’s the next part which pisses the crap outta me. “Chopra will be exposing a new side of herself to Westerners when she releases an eagerly awaited English-language album later this year.” Uh, okay. I’ve heard her sing and trust me, she is quite average. And if you have to sing because your shampoo bottles claim you're fabulous, no problem, but cut a Hindi album at least! Why do you need to impress the westerners? How many Western artists want to “impress” the East and thus, cut a Hindi album?

Look, I’m not hating; think of this as a reality check for Priyanka Chopra. Basically, the actress needs to shed her “I’m too cool for school” attitude and she’ll be fine. In the meantime, PC has quite a task ahead of her which should begin with finding co-stars. Pronto.

100 Word Review: Delhi Belly

Delhi Belly follows the life of three lads who through a bunch of mishaps land up on the hitlist of a local goon. As the film progresses, we play witness to a number of interesting characters, situations and dialogues par crass-excellence. DB is desi, funky and honest in its execution. It dares to be different with its language, sexual content and storyline. Performances by the entire cast has to be applauded while the writer and director of the film deserve heaps of praise as they’ve single-handedly changed the face and future of Hindi cinema. A cult film; a must watch.

I Love Delhi Belly (Like I Hate Those Who Didn't) - Brackets Mein

Like most of Youngistan, I too happily lapped up Delhi Belly. And I oddly caught the film later than most. I heard of some claiming it was rowdy, housed far too many crassy foul dialogues and was far too unconventional. Mind you, these were other fellow youthful folks who I believe should officially be given the Dada/Dadi tag after making such old school comments. I took immense pride in watching Imran Khan go "down" on Shenaz Treasurywala (since smooching and making out has been mastered by our stars), in the farting and burping and freakin' loved the foul crassy language that was used throughout. But what does this mean for Hindi cinema? Does it mean we are finally realizing that people use the word "chutiya" regularly? That is is indeed a part of our daily lingo? Are we also finally comprehending that, believe it or not, people in India are having sex? The youth are no longer hiding in the rocks of various beaches canoodling but actually on a bed indulging in sexual acts. Get with it; it's happening.

But what is it about Delhi Belly that has everyone talking and shocked? In my opinion, it's the honesty. Finally, our writers and directors are realizing that no longer is real love all flippant and frills. We love watching Kajol running through a field of daisies into the arms of one rather dreamy SRK, but we also know that it will never happen to us; the regular junta. We do know that we are more than likely to date a guy who curses and abuses, possibly struggling to grow in his career, drinks, smokes but will keep us satisfied in the sack. Hindi cinema, doesn't ever, or rarely allows us to see a more modern side to urban relationships. Delhi Belly does just that while being as entertaining as it can be.

I just don't understand why a small chunk of the population - youngin's too, are so shocked by the film. Are you seriously going to sit there and tell me you haven't heard any of the foul language used throughout the film or that you've never indulge/heard of oral sex? Spare me. If you haven't, I suggest you get the f@&k out of your shell dahlings. And you can sue me for using the F-word. It wasn't as though we saw a full frontal people; that ain't happening anytime soon especially since some viewers could barely handle this much vulgarity!  The music too is a step ahead of the rest; it too is controversial, funky and freaky-deaky. DK Bose is still running, on my iPod that is, while I'm totally down to "shaking my biscuit". All said, Delhi Belly is headed the cult route.

Personally, I loved the crass, the filth and the profanity. Delhi Belly has vastly improved my foul language bank which was in dire need of some help to throw at people (read: irritating annoying wannabes we-know-it-all-but-really-don't-know-crap-about-Bollywood Desi blondes) who never fail to irk me regularly. And then of course, praise the lord! We finally have our first oral sex scene. I'm a proud Bollywood fan today; how we've grown.

Delhi Belly portrays the future of modern Hindi cinema at its best. And if you find it too much or too hot to handle, stick to the classics.

Aamir Khan: Limelight Stealer (?)

So I've decided to do some fun write ups and features on all things related to Bollywood. And as first, I decided to do one on the uber talented and slightly selfish, Aamir Khan. Talented, well you know why. But selfish! "How dare she?" you're probably thinking. However, I had this thought today while reviewing Dhobi Ghat (which I personally lurved by the way). What really changed Aamir Khan and made him slightly edgy and unconventional was perhaps when he meddled in Deepa Mehta's Earth. Prior to that, Aamir pretty much was yet another mainstream actor. Soon after came Lagaan, Dil Chahta Hai, Rang De Basanti, Fanaa, Taare Zameen Par, Ghajini, 3 Idiots and more lately, Dhobi Ghat. All of the films listed have worked critically and commercially which went on to establish Aamir Khan and his genre of films; zara hatke. In fact, despite being entertaining and winning awards, all of the films put him on a pedestal which pretty much gave him reins as a filmmaker and actor in the industry. So amidst all this talk of accolades, where does this idea of selfishness come from?

Okay hear me out. What do most of the films above have in common? Some are ensemble casts while the others have seen Aamir launch new talent. But besides Aamir, which of the actors have actually come out on top? And really, all of them are fabulous actors. Gracy Singh may have gotten lucky with Lagaan but post the film, Gracy had to really fight tooth and nail for her role in Munnabhai M.B.B.S. and even then, Sanjay Dutt walked away with the fruits of it all. Dil Chahta Hai made Aamir a youth icon but not the same can be said about Akshaye Khanna and Saif Ali Khan. Rang De Basanti created waves but the rest of the cast didn't flourish as much as Aamir did. What did RDB do for R. Madhavan or Sharman Joshi or even Soha Ali Khan? Asin is basically a forgotten deal and yet again post 3 Idiots, Maddy and Joshi are still where they were 5 years ago.

Okay so maybe selfish isn't the ride word; maybe Aamir is a glory hogger and because of his innate popularity has managed to steal the limelight from actors who are as talented as him. And that in itself is selfishness, no?

Back and how!

I do apologize for being away for so long. After my slight break, I found myself the shikar of a bad throat viral which is not fun. But I'm back and rocking as usual. Lots going on in Bollywood - so its time for quick one liners I believe!

Reema Kagti's next will feature Aamir Khan, Kareena Kapoor and Rani Mukherjee! Excited yet?

Sonam Kapoor and Deepika Padukone are officially down in Rishi Kapoor's bad books after they both went on to call his son and their co-star Ranbir Kapoor, "unstylish" and "unfaithful" respectively. Yikes!

Manisha Koirala went on to claim she had "divorce on her mind" on Facebook after a spat with her husband and is now apparently living with her parents. Uh-oh!

Yana Gupta was spotted without any underwear roaming in Mumbai and while she has been fined in the city, a number of European magazines want her to pose naked for heaps of dough. Great! She has more money to buy underwear.

Guzaarish is out and while the film hasn't managed to do too well at the box office, Hrithik Roshan has walked away with accolades galore. Salman Khan however, has been heard taking pot shots at film claiming not even a "dog" has gone to see Guzaarish. So much gussa towards old pal Sanjay Leela Bhansali, Salman Bhai?

Can Sonakshi Sinha do it without Salman Khan? Karan Johar is asking himself this very question since he is keen on signing on Sonakshi for a film. Her answer, "Of course I can!"

Imran Khan claims he loves the chocolate boy title but is need of more experimental films. Right.

Apparently, Ranbir Kapoor is still love with ex-flame Deepika Padukone and has been seen hanging around her building asking the security guard to let him go on up to her apartment.

Dhobi Ghat Trailer

I'm super excited for Dhobi Ghat because it will bring together some of the best in the industry including Aamir Khan and Prateik Babbar. Directed by Kiran Rao, the film is set to be one that will make you think as it explores the city Mumbai from a totally different perspective. Having already making waves at international film festivals, Dhobi Ghat is slated for a January 2011 release. First look anyone?

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Koffee with Karan: Teaser and Details!

While Koffee with Karan, in my opinion, is just a number of stars sucking up to Karan Johar and vice versa, it doesn't fail to entertain. And despite the fact that it is not my favorite chat show (On the Couch with Koel, zindabad!), I will be catching every episode of season 3 because of the incredible jodi's that will join KJo on his couch for a cuppa joe. The episodes couples will include a directors special featuring Raj Kumar Hirani, Imtiaz Ali and Farah Khan while a separate episode will finally bring together the Devgns: Ajay and Kajol. Of course, Shah Rukh Khan will be seen with Gauri but in addition, Aamir will feature with his wifey Kiran Rao all in time for Dhobi Ghat. Then we will have a heartthrob episode which will bring buddies, Imran Khan and Ranbir Kapoor - hubba hubba! And then, rivals-now-friends Deepika Padukone and Sonam Kapoor will grace the couch. Of course, Karan has gone on to say that the boys are not rivals, and if they are, they are the "coolest rivals" he's ever seen. Touche. As for the girls, they were apparently super "relaxed" with one another. But first up, Abhishek and Aishwarya Rai Bachchan. The couple apparently talk all things about their marriage and their grand wedding. Check out the teaser below!

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GQ Awards 2010!!

So John Travolta is on a month long holiday in India and was also at the recently held GQ Man of the Year Awards this year. He presented the Icon of the Year award to Aamir Khan and himself was the recipient of the Legend of the Year award which he was presented by none other than Aishwarya Rai Bachchan. Apparently, the Hollywood star was seated next to the Bachchans simply because he insisted that a) he get the opportunity to bond with Ash and b) was given the award by the ex-Miss World. So much did he like Ash that he is said to be "bowled over by her". *giggle giggle in Ash style*

Coming back to the GQ Awards, check out some of the other winners:

Most Stylish Man award – Arjun Rampal
Excellence award – Aishwarya Rai Bachchan
Lifetime Achievement award – Naseeruddin Shah
Producer of the year – Karan Johar
Woman of the year – Priyanka Chopra
Actor of the year (presented by Chivas) – Ranbir Kapoor
Cinematic icon award – Aamir Khan

Surprisingly, Aamir turned up to the event that was hosted by the uber cute Rahul Khanna. Check out some pics!! The boys definitely looked hot!! The ladies...meh!

What's Hot, What's Not!

Bollywood has its moments. Some news can be so hot, its too hot to touch. And other days, it is is just plain not. Check it out!

What's Hot!

Ranbir going on his first world tour in 2011!

Salman Khan back on Twitter after a brief break.

Priyanka Chopra dancing on the streets for Ganesh Visarajan!

Bollywood celebs expressing his views on the Common Wealth Games

Aamir Khan's Peepli [Live] is India's official entry to the Oscars.

What's Not!

The first look of Guzaarish - so blah!

Shah Rukh Khan creating havoc for his neighbors

Mallaika Arora Khan exposing her assets at a party - very unclassy

Lollywood (Pakistan's film industry) blaming Bollywood for its decline

Mirch Masala Yet Again!

It's raining G (gossip and news) in Bollywood, so yet again a mirch masala was required!

Bipasha Basu found herself in shock when an Aunty wanted to give her a puppi (smooch) at Bangalore airport!

Partner 2 is scripted and ready to roll with Salman Khan and Govinda yet again.

Talking about sequels, after the success of Once Upon A Time in Mumbai, Ekta Kapoor is set to make a part 2 to the film which will most likely focus on the life of Dawood.

Aamir Khan, Salman Khan and a number of actors all got together to give blood for Independence Day.

Ajay Devgn is yearning for a break but cannot seem to make time to take it. He is currently working on Aakrosh after working nonstop on Golmaal 3.

More tomorrow!!

Aamir Khan talks Peepli [Live] !

Okay, today I invite you to take a read of my exclusive interview with Aamir Khan at BollySpice. Naturally I was superly duperly nervous initially, however, by the end, the actor made me feel so comfortable, that I wanted to sit and chat with him for hours. Of course, that is not possible so I got 20 minutes and in that time span, the actor spoke about volumes about Peepli [Live], Indian Ocean, Twitter and when we will see him next on the big screen!

Aamir Khan and Peepli [Live] Exclusively on BollySpice!! [Part 1]
Aamir Khan and Peepli [Live] Exclusively on BollySpice!! [Part 2]

click and read!!!

Aamir, Oh Aamir!

Apparently Aamir Khan has a very simple technique for staying young: he drinks four liters of H2O daily! And till date denies he has ever had any cosmetic surgery. Erm...so its the water retention that erases any wrinkles, eh? Of course, the liberal minded actor has no real issues with cosmetic procedures. In an interview with Hindustan Times, he revealed all this and more.

When asked if he was ghost directing Peepli Live, he went on the defense immediately. "I don’t even know how to answer that allegation anymore. I went on the sets of Peepli Live just once…that too when the entire unit sent me a message saying, ‘What kind of a producer are you? You don’t even visit the sets!’ The film is totally the brainchild and work of director Anusha Rizvi," was his rebuttal. And the reason for taking such a huge risk with a topic that is rural and "offbeat"? He's a risktaker.

Although the Khans are still dealing with the tragic death of his father, he ensure he spends enough time with his wife and kids. And he was quizzed on son Junaid who received a lot of attention after he was seen on the 3 Idiots Red Carpet. "I didn’t know Junaid, too, has a fan following. We’re very close… he’s my guinea pig. I make him and his friends watch my movies before release. But, he doesn’t discuss girlfriends with me," he said.

And as for joining the Twitterati for which he only sporadically leaves a line or two, he is still learning the ropes. But its all him and not his wife who was believed to be tweeting on his behalf courtesy of the spelling ala Vidya = Vidhya and Amit = Amith. He has a smart ass answer for that too: "The spelling errors happened because maybe I’m dyslexic."

Ha! 

Source: Hindustan Times

Khan is King

Day after day, we are treated to reading punchlines from Shah Rukh Khan who takes quick jabs at Aamir, who, in turn does the same, followed by the non-stop feuds that SRK has with Salman Khan. While it's every Khan for himself, each of these Khans believe that they are kings, ace and rulers of the Hindi film industry. Ultimately, I have come to concur that they are not helping their individual reputations but instead, ruining it more so by talking about one another in a most derogative manner. The fans are bored, and the media have a hay day publicizing their vile comments. But question is, who is King Khan?

In my opinion, the throne belongs to Feroz Khan. I honestly believe that when he reads of all the Khans battling it out in the media and chuckles to himself. How can any of the contemporary Khans even believe they can match up to his grandeur or stature that he still exhibits? Till date the actor par excellence stands for style and modernity. In the past, his movies had been considered ahead of its time but the actor has never been one to toot his own horn. Ahem. I do hope the wannabe "King Khans" are listening. Known for helping co-stars, appreciating his subordinates and moreover Feroz Khan does not take cheap jabs at actors. Yes, he has had his share of controversial events regarding films, plots, scenes and songs. However, he has managed to come out on top and ever so graceful. This Khan is currently unwell however, and I wish him a speedy recovery.

From the newbies, I guess the only Khan that may take over the Khan regime is Imran Khan. This is merely due to the fact that he has right last name to help him. He still does need to prove himself as an actor if you ask me. I think that the only actor from the new lot who will actually make it huge, is Farhan Akhtar. The dude is a Rock Star and everyone knows the headbangers are the ones who bring in the crowds. Jokes apart, he is humble and so gracious. Too bad he doesn't have the last name which tends to reign supreme.

The Khans can continue to fight it out and continue to look silly if you ask me. Soon some other Khan (Saif, Fardeen and Zayed are all viable possibilities), will creep up behind them and steal their thunder. I'm waiting for that one. Until then, F.K, that's Feroz Khan to you, is bestowed with the honor of being deemed King Khan. K(h)an't say more than that.

Photo Credit: Graphics Stunt