100 Word Review: Blood Money

Blood Money is basically India’s answer to Blood Diamond. A shoddy answer at that. Kunal Khemu plays a diamond expert who comes to South Africa with his wife (Amrita Puri) and finds himself in a rather sticky situation. Somewhere before the intermission, the film loses its path and you’re left scratching your head. Khemu looks like the kid who brings cylinders to your home on a cycle; Puri is lost. As a film, Blood Money has no substance nor does it have a pull factor. But the real question is: What is wrong with Soha Ali Khan? Kunal Khemu? Really?

100 Word Review: Housefull 2

Housefull 2 is about fathers who are looking for some guy called Jolly to marry of their individual daughters. After a lot of confusion in a London mansion and some crazy situations with the four Dads, the girls are married off. The highlight of the film (for me) was as follows: Shreyas Talpade speaking Sindhi, Anarkali Disco Chali and yes, Akshay Kumar’s “Ayeee…Kyun thak rahe ho?” line. Besides that, Housefull 2 should really come with a disprin because it gives you a headache the size of Sajid Khan. The music is horrid as is the execution. Brutal waste of time.

100 Word Review: Kahaani

The premise of Kahaani: a pregnant wife in search of her husband. However, there is more than meets the eye as her motive eventually shocks authorities. Sujoy Ghosh pulls out a winner from his director’s cap with this thriller. You are immediately taken in by the story and Kolkata. Vidya Balan is top notch. She is proving to be an actress you cannot and should not mess with. The rest of the cast all support aptly. The story engrosses you with only one minor hichki vis-à-vis the hacking sequence which is slightly pretentious. That said, Kahaani tells a fabulous tale.

100 Word Review: London Paris New York

There is only one reason to watch London Paris New York.
Nikhil: See, I’m a guy and I’m totally attracted to you, aur tum ho ke…
Lalitha: Mein hoon ki kya?
Nikhil: Tum ek number ke tease ho!
Lalitha: Meri galti hai ke tum ek number ke tharki ho?
Nikhil: Mein tharki hoon? Apni badi-badi aankhon se tumne mujhe hypnotize kiya aur phir meri kaande pe sarr rakte hai sexy billy jaisi aahe barr rahi ho! 

This is the only time I was interested during the film. Ali Zafar hams; Aditi Rao is average. You can ignore and avoid LPNY.

100 Word Review: Ladies v/s Ricky Bahl

Ladies v/s Ricky Bahl is about a con that fools a bunch of girls—they deserved to be fooled, and eventually the girls gang up to take revenge through a pawn. The con falls in love in the bargain, and decides to mend his ways. In one word, the film is appalling. And cheesy. The only real reason to watch the film is for Parineeti Chopra, who is fabulous and funny. Ranveer is OTT, Anushka is the usual and awfully skinny (anorexic status?). The screenplay is such a drag, it makes you question Maneesh Sharma’s talent, sadly. Pliss to avoid.

100 Word Review: Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol

In Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol, you are forced to fall in love with Tom Cruise again. So we’re reintroduced to Ethan Hunt who is needed once again to save the world from destruction and chaos. However, it isn’t the premise but the action which keeps you glued. Whether it’s Cruise running on the Burj or vertically diving in a car, you can’t help but gush. Either way, Cruise keeps you sweating and asking for more. It’s beautifully constructed and incredibly made. The action sequences have never been seen before. The best dishoom film of the year, hands down. I love!

*It's rather rare that I review a Hollywood film, so you can imagine how much I liked it!

100 Word Review: Don 2

Don 2 picks off right where it leaves us. And as predictable as it may sound, a heist is planned in which Don brings in his old enemies and new friends. There’s action, sexual tension and awesome dialogues. Don 2 is stylish (kudos Farhan) but it really lacks meat. SRK redeems himself big time post Ra.One—he is Don in every which way. Priyanka kicks butt well but seems far too turned on in her scenes with SRK. Kunal, Lara, Boman, Aly are all simply apt. Sadly, Farhan’s unique style is somewhat lost. This one is for diehard SRK fans.

100 Word Review: Rockstar

Rockstar is Ranbir all the way. He encompasses Jordan— a heartbroken, confused, rebellious singer who cannot understand the ways of the famous. It’s love which ultimately brings his downfall. While the first half of the film really stands tall, it’s the second half that makes you lose interest. That said, Ranbir Kapoor puts on a performance par excellence; he scores as Jordan. Nargis is very average and needs a lot of work—acting wise. Imtiaz Ali moves away from love but only slightly. This is not his best film though. Movie of the year? No. Watch only for rocking Ranbir.

100 Word Review: The Dirty Picture

The Dirty Picture is Silk Smitha’s life story. But it really is Vidya Balan all the way. She’s bold, she bears and my god is she booblicious. The actors all “support” her aptly but she fully encompasses Silk in soul and character. The film falters in the second half while it shocks you in the first. Luthria is a director who yet again demonstrates his understanding of the subject fully. The dialogues are filled with vulgar innuendos (loved it!) and Ooh-La-La takes the cake. If you can’t handle the heat, stay away from TDP; it’s not for the small-minded or faint-hearted.

Quote from an avid moviegoer who sums it up perfectly: "Vidya Balan might have just introduced the world to the concept of 'Aesthetic Vulgarity'. Buxom is back!" - A.G.

100 Word Review: Desi Boyz

Apparently when recession hits, the best alternate job includes becoming an escort; irrespective of your gender. (Poonam Pandey explained?) Jerry and Nick do the same but in the bargain land up losing a lot more than they expected including dignity. Desi Boyz is total time pass. Akshay and John are simply average with the latter slightly ahead courtesy of his shirtless scenes. Deepika is meh, but Chitrangada is super fiery hot! Sanjay Dutt makes you want to puke. Debut director Rohit Dhawan does well though; the film keeps you awake; thankfully. Watch for the music and for hot “topless” John.

100 Word Review: Love Breakup Zindagi

Love Breakups Zindagi is a film about, well, love, breaking up and life. Meet Naina and Jai, both tied to the wrong people. When they meet at a wedding, a spark flies and they are drawn to each other. Over time, they realize they have a bond but it takes time for them to realize this fact. LBZ is cheesy but a mature love story. Thankfully, no villain here. The story is simple and treated well but there is not real magnetizing effect to the film. The actors individually do well. A good Sunday watch, LBZ will make you smile.

100 Word Review: Mod

Nagesh Kukunoor’s Mod sucks you into a world that is rather peculiar and yet incredibly engaging. Aranya is your average young girl in the fictional town of Ganga. One day, an old school mate turns up at her door confessing his love for her. Love sprouts but not before Aranya realizes something isn’t right. Kukunoor is genius in his own right and with Mod, he proves that a big budget is nothing compared to a fabulous plot. Takia is superb and underplays Aranya while Rannvijay does the best he can. Mod makes you smile, think, tear and yet captures you.

100 Word Review: Saheb Biwi Aur Gangster

Saheb Biwi Aur Gangster is pretty much self explanatory. A debt Saheb is looking to save his haveli while his rather eccentric and possessive Biwi constantly fights for his attention. When a Gangster in the form of her new driver enters her life, she decides to entice and use him to conquer her rightful place. SBAG makes for a rather interesting watch because of the actors. Everyone from Shergill to Gill and the very hot Hooda, work their roles shedding any inhibitions only to score. Dhulia, the director, pulls a rabbit out of the hat with SBAG. Gots to watch!  

100 Word Review: Force

Force is basically John Abraham’s return to action films which I think is how he marketed himself initially. It follows the life of a non-committal police inspector who runs after drug peddlers but stays far away from love. However, when he finds the love of his life, he is forced to intermingle his love and work which causes major conflict. I must say that I was thoroughly impressed with John Abraham. He really can act. Who woulda known? Genelia D’Souza is her usual bubbly self. As a film, Force is interesting and gravitating, which was unexpected. Watch for the thrills.

100 Word Review: That Girl in Yellow Boots

That Girl in Yellow Boots is by far one of the darkest movies of the year. The film depicts Ruth’s trail in Mumbai as she looks for her father. In the meantime, she sees a life of pain, grime and disgust. TGIYB is hard-hitting but honest in many ways. In many ways, it’s exactly what you expect from Anurag Kashyap. Too predictable. Kalki needs to watch herself. This role is too far up her alley and so naturally, she is more than awesome at it. Watch for the twistedness and frank conversations filled with explicit words in Hindi and English.

100 Word Review: Mausam

Mausam is apparently an epic love story which follows the love of a couple who fall in love at eighteen, separate, travel the world only to find each other and then lose one another again. And again. And again. Sheer disappointment from Pankaj Kapur; was really expecting intelligent hard-hitting cinema from him. Shahid is a cross between SRK and Aamir Khan before he pulls out his Tom Cruise Ray-Bans. Sonam is as pretty as a peach but hams. Fifteen minutes into the film, you realize Mausam has hints of DDLJ and Veer-Zaara. You also realize Mausam is an epic bore.

100 Word Review: Mere Brother Ki Dulhan

Mere Brother Ki Dulhan has a plot that is self-explanatory. Brother finds bride for older brother and instead falls in love with her. With a happy sappy ending and some good music, the movie is yet another run-of-the-mill kinda shindig. Katrina fails and how, as the feisty Dimple Dixit. Imran Khan, who keeps on improving, appears rather squarish while Ali Zafar is plain blah. The plot itself is rather lackluster and very YashRaj. It loses steam fifteen minutes in because it is a bunch of romantic films clumped together. Watch MBKD for the music. Otherwise this one ain’t worth it. 

P.S. It took me two real sit-downs to watch MBKD. I eventually completed it. Finally.

100 Word Review: Bol

Shoaib Mansoor’s Bol created quite the stir amongst critics and audiences. And for good reason. The film follows the life of a Hakim in Lahore who feels burdened when his wife constantly produces daughters. When his son arrives, he finds himself the father of a eunuch. Life gets harder as time goes on. The daughters are subjected to abuse and neglect before they finally revolt. The film addresses a number of social issues that occur in modern day Pakistan. Hard-hitting and how, Bol really makes an impact with its performances and story. A social film which makes you ponder and think.

100 Word Review: Khap

Khap tells the tale of a clan in which inter-clan marriages are strictly forbidden. In fact, if couples do engage in a loving relationship and are caught, they find themselves murdered better known as Honor Killing. A young girl and boy from a city find themselves in such a dire situation and are forced to face the consequences of the Khap. The film is hard hitting and strong as a plot. Hard-hitting powerful performances by Om Puri and Govind Namdev. However, one only wishes this Ajai Sinha directed film received more attention and even a stronger star cast. Must watch.

100 Word Review: Bodyguard

Salman Khan’s Bodyguard is not inspired by the Hollywood version. We see Lovely Singh guard the daughter of a prominent man. She feels the need to play some mischief but when her prank goes terribly wrong, not only does she lose the man she loves but causes mayhem in her own life. Bodyguard is not fantastic cinema but it is entertaining. Sallu really works it (and how) while Kareena Kapoor is pretty and pretty good. As a film, Bodyguard houses everything that is encompasses a masala massy flick. Its direction and plot is simple. Watch for a fun three hours!