High Off Hong Kong!

Welcome to Hong Kong— where time is a commodity and 24 hours fall far too short especially if you need to fit in work, sleep and play. Sometimes, you find yourself wishing for just one more hour. In fact, if you live in Hong Kong, you should by default be allocated 36 hours. It should be the law. That said, the mere fact that we find 24 hours short puts you in this amazing feel of euphoria. The speed, madness and frantic rush gives you the ultimate adrenaline high. It’s such a fabulous high, that you can’t imagine yourself without it once you’re addicted. Yes, it is a drug to certain degree.

It’s been seven months since I’ve been back and I don’t think I’ve had a dull moment. From getting lost almost 100 times – yes I get lost in Hong Kong, to crazy nights out, rekindling with my old friends whom I now realize, I missed so much to making such amazing new friends, celebrating my 30th and today, I’ll be getting my Sindhi on as I attend a Chetti Chand mela. It’s really no wonder I haven’t had a minute to blog in the last one month. But honestly, this is how life should be; crazy, fun, busy and filled with great memories.

So I celebrated my 30th birthday last weekend. Yes, 30 years of living on this planet. Where did time go? I remember all my milestone birthdays—18, 21, 25. All very big bashes. My birthday, for some odd reason, has always been a big deal in my family. Dad says, first child; Mom says the same; my sister and brother are not so big on theirs so they vicariously celebrate through me, I guess. And I of course, love it! My 30th was incredible fun! But that’s Hong Kong for you. A place where everyone gets together and celebrates for every reason…sometimes no reason too!

I’ve never been one to live a somber quiet life; this is a new realization, of course. I did it for close to a decade. My poor adrenaline; it accumulated and has now burst after many years of dormancy. And while I’ll complain that I’m so busy and incredibly overwhelmed, I love it. I love every minute of being here. I’m home. Now, I know, I am. And I have no intentions of leaving any time soon.

Here’s to me, my adrenaline rush and 30 more years of fobulousness!

Speak for Humanity: One Billion Rising - Dance-A-Thon!

Valentine's Day is a day of love, passion, compassion and kindness. While most people insist this means red roses, teddy bears and romantic dinners, in 2013 this is hardly a way to celebrate. Look, we live in a day and time where the world has become harder to live in. In fact, forget harder, it's become dangerous to live in this world. Over the last week, I've sat with myself and fought with myself over why the world has become this way. Wars, rape, murders; it doesn't seem to end. So really, where is the love? Why is it we can't find it in ourselves to display and show T.L.C. for one another? Why do we insist on hurting one another. No. I refuse to believe that this world is devoid of love. I will not live in a world where love doesn't exist. And thus, on February 14th, an international day of love, I will go out, a single woman in Hong Kong and dance my way into a new world.

Speak for Humanity, an organization dedicated to the betterment of the world, has joined with a global project known as The One Billion Rising Movement. As an organization, Speak for Humanity has a number of objectives that it supports. These include:
- Raising awareness about issues of global concern
- Serving as a platform for dialogue and engagement
- Serving as an interface to connect global actors striving for change

It's motto, "Injustice Anywhere is Injustice Everywhere," speaks for the extent to which the organization wishes to make a change. The Dance-a-thon will be one of several events which will serve as a launchpad for the organization.


The purpose of the Dance-a-thon is to bring about equality and safety to women all over the world through workshops and various methods including the February 14th, Dance-a-thon. More details are available on the Facebook page and website but this is your chance to change the face of how women in the world. As citizens of the modern world, it is our responsibility to decide how women are treated now and in the future.

Speak out and dance it out, this February 14th at Statue Square from 8 PM to 10 PM. Bring your friends, your valentine, your family, the women in your life.

This is Valentine's Day, make it one with a difference.

Republic Day in India: Just Another Holiday?

Yet another Republic Day dawns on India and the country will celebrate. Not because they happen to be the biggest democracy in the world but simply because they have a day off from work and school. The symbolism behind 26th January is simply to mark the arrival and acceptance of the Indian Constitution. But over the last few months, has the country really earned any real reasons to be proud of itself?

Throughout 2012, India has behaved like one of the most undemocratic countries in the world. And in all honesty, it hardly surprises me that the country is excited for Republic Day for a rather lazy reason. If we quickly review the year that was, you’ll realize that India is clearly falling in a backward spiral that bares an uncanny resemblance to a neighboring country.

India is a country that quickly forgot about three ministers who were caught watching ‘objective videos’ (read: porn) during an assembly session. While we laughed and outraged for a day, we let the government sweep such an issue under the carpet. We then allowed a state funeral for a dictator, Bal Thackeray. The city of Mumbai was shut down and immobilized for a day as people were forced to pay respects to a man who has ruled over a city via a non-functioning government for years. And then, when a young girl from democratic, free-speech allowed India decided to question the need for such an extravagant funeral and for the shut down of Mumbai, her Facebook post landed her in jail. If that wasn’t Taliban-like enough, the whole world watched (and is currently watching) how we as a country reacted to the brutal gang rape of young girl on a bus in Delhi. Onlookers were too afraid to get involved because of sheer fear of the local corrupt police. We saw government and religious leaders make obscure conservative comments, take no responsibility and attempted to play down the issue. And when the otherwise passé people of India stood up against such an atrocity, they were beaten by the police as they protested in and around Delhi.

The problem is that we are more concerned with stupid issues that do not really matter. We’re more worried about why Oprah Winfrey made India appear outdated in her documentary. Well, the fact of matter is if you behave in such a fashion, then what else do you expect? Instead of worrying about her eating her chapatti with two hands, we should really be worrying about how we ought to teach the men in India to keep both hands to themselves. In a secular country with such a huge democracy, India now needs to worry about the future of its state more than ever. The country is moving at a rapid pace in the wrong direction. If you will behave and govern the country in a Talebanesque fashion, what example are you setting for future generations and to the rest of the world?

It is during such times that one looks to the government for strict firm action and swift change in education, social reform and attitude. They call on generation X to take charge and run the country. But do they realize that they hold on to them by a tight leash? They tell them to speak their mind but teach them lessons of inequality and gender differences. And when something horrendous happens, they point fingers at the influx of western cultural influences, films and other idiotic reasons. Our educated ministers are nothing but mute goats while the uneducated run the country in a most undemocratic old fashioned manner – the only way they know best.

The West looks at India and laughs now. Filled with corruption, rapes, poverty and nonstop drama, this is the country that is regarded as a ‘future superpower?’ Democratic countries allow their people to grow; they teach them how to be better citizens.

Today, I’m sure I can speak collectively when I say that as Indians, we are incredibly proud of our heritage and our country. It’s our ministers we’ve been put down by repeatedly.

So on this day, what should the people of India hope for? Well, for starters India needs to wake up from the 1936 bubble they are currently engulfed in. Then, they need to stop it with the ‘chalta hai’ attitude. Change can only come when they group together and demand it. That is how a democracy works. Social reform is one that future generations will need to take on themselves. And above everything, they better hope all their Gods come together and protect from falling in a downward pit and pray for a brighter modern tomorrow.

Personally, I’m a diehard Indian. Amidst the failures of the country, I still see beauty and hope. And as usual, in true filmy fashion, here’s one that always resonates with me, “Koi bhi desh perfect nahi hota use perfect banana padta hai.”

Vande Mataram! 

'The Obnoxious Case of the Incredible Indian Men'

I’m convinced that many Indian men in power, i.e. political and religious leaders, do not have a connection between their brain and mouth. They lack sensitivity and are clearly living in an 1823 bubble which is the only explainable reason for their ignorance and their backward mentality. How else would you explain the nonsense they have been uttering over the past few weeks regarding Delhi rape case which has left India and the international community shocked?

It all began with the President’s son who decided to call the women protesting ‘highly dented and painted’. For starters, that hardly makes sense. I’m assuming this figure of speech is normally used for vehicles. I think. But what exactly is a ‘dented’ and ‘painted’ woman? If I try to make sense of his statement, I’m gonna go with the fact that’s he is a male chauvinist who cannot fathom the fact that modern Indian women are no longer ready to stay repressed and thus, are coming out by the hundreds to stand up for their gender. He is yet one of those outdated men who believe that Indian women should shut up and stay at home. Too bad his sister couldn’t be one of those women; she happens to be a dancer.

Next up was Mr. Mohan Bhagwat, an RSS leader, who decided that in his demented jaded head that rapes only happen in India and not in Bharat. Are you confused yet? Don’t worry, I’m as muddled. What I think he was getting at is that ‘India’ refers to the more urban areas while ‘Bharat’ is the rural parts. This basically infers that rapes only happen in cities and not in villages or less developed areas. Errr, really? Here’s some trivia, just for Mr. Bhagwat. Seventy-five percent of rape cases have been reported from rural India.

Then there is the great Asaram Bapu—I had no clue who on earth he was until he stated that the victim was as guilty as the rapists. His theory was that the victim should have begged and not fought back. If she would have called them her ‘brothers’, they would have not raped her. Yes, when this poor was getting raped and stripped of her dignity, she should have done just this. Mind you this is coming from a man who also claims women should be restricted to home chores and is against the westernization of Indian society. The bigger question here is would he tell the ladies in his own family to fall at the feet of rapists and call them their brothers too?

And this is just two of many absurd theories, comments and statements that have come from a number of well-known leaders across many arenas in Indian political and religious groups. 

What is most irritating about the fact that these religious leaders and politicians are politicizing the issue with their backward statements, is that a bulk of India actually supports these people and thoughts. They do not feel the need for these men to apologize for their insensitivity. This theoretically means that this rigid mindset has already been set set in stone and so such beliefs will fall to their children and so on. Ultimately, this starts a domino effect that cannot be eradicated at all. Such outrageous and demeaning comments only further these old-fashioned and incorrect beliefs which do nothing but encourage more men to ill-treat women. Instead of preaching to the men to realize that women are their equals and cannot be looked down upon, they choose to further promote atrocities against women in India.

All of a sudden, the road to liberating women in India seems long and rocky filled with potholes in the form of men like the above, who simply cannot see past the old school depiction of Indian women. One can only hope the likes of Mata Lakshmi, Durga Maa and all the female goddesses up there, give strength to the women of India as they take on this battle to secure themselves and the future of Indian women.

Oh and before I end, there is also one more idiot—a minister from Chhatigarh, who claims that there is no ‘clear answer’ for the crimes against women and thus, it is because ‘the stars are not in position’. Right.

Dear Indian Government: SAVE OUR GIRLS!

A rape in India means a couple of things; candlelight vigils, panel discussions and of course, lots of outrage in the form of protests by human right activists. But what use is all of this? In the past, what has any candlelight vigil done besides waste precious candles that could be given to the poor for heat and light? And why do these panelists waste our time screaming and shouting about how the government needs to pucker up when they leave the discussion only to forget the incident? And more importantly, how many more times will these human right activists take to the streets to be unheard?

Post the gang rape of this 23-year-old girl on a moving bus by a men who were ‘looking for a good time’, people have come to realize that this is apparently ‘now’ unacceptable. Really? Only now? When has it ever been acceptable to rape a young girl? This is not an unknown problem in India and especially not a mysterious issue in Delhi. It is in fact, perhaps, one of the most normal pieces of news to read on a regular basis. But the government of India continues to let go of rapists in the country like they would a petty thief. Promises of harsh punishments are hardly upheld and a lot of the time these rapists are put in jail, the issue sidestepped and the Indian public are subjected to yet another case of red herring.

Many middle class young girls in Delhi, who do not have the privilege of a car and/or driver, will tell you stories of how sexual harassment is practically an ‘everyday experience’. Groping, eve teasing and being followed are normal practices in Delhi. And these cases are simply not reported any more simply because these girls know nothing will happen of it. Instead, they will more likely fall victim to even more severe molestation which may include rape. Ultimately, what the Indian government has done is given immense power to these wretched disgusting men as they encourage violence.

In the past, the uneducated folks of the Indian government have come out to defend the rapists claiming that girls should not dress ‘provocatively’, live a 2012 lifestyle which consists of socializing, drinking and living a life of their choice. The idea is simple; men are allowed to go out, have a gala time, drink and be merry but you, as an Indian woman are not because if you do, you are asking to be raped. You see, because you are an Indian woman. You must live like they did in 1924, not like they do now in the New World. So this means that if you are in traditional wear, i.e. salwar kameez and/or sari, you will not be raped, yes? Additionally, an expose by Tehelka states that police officers also claim that if you are indulging in sex with ONE man, you are allowed to be raped by him and his friends. Women should not keep the company of men because that is also a trigger for rape and oh, if you’re mother is divorced, then it’s your mother’s fault. Why is she divorced? Cause she is a slut. So, by default, you are a slut and all sluts must be raped. And lastly, you should be raped because you report the rape. A good Indian girl would never complain of being raped. So if you did, you either deserved it OR you weren’t really raped. Taking all of the above into account, therefore, Indian women on some level everywhere deserve to be raped. There you go.

Here’s some perspective. Currently there are 890 pending rape cases in India and the most likely punishment for the rapists ‘will not be less than 7 years but it may be for life or for a term which may extend to 10 years. The person shall also be liable to fine.’ This is all they will get. Till date, no rapist has served a life imprisonment for a rape crime since this is reserved for cases of murder and ‘waging war against the country’.

Apparently, India is the most democratic country in the world. Apparently, India also worships its goddesses because they hold the most power amongst all its deities. And apparently, this case will be fast-tracked. But this all is just small talk for a country which still allows khaps to exist, where a dictator is given a state funeral and where a terrorist is given first class treatment after it comes into a city and causes mayhem for three days.

Till now, the government who needs to stand up and take responsibility has yet to come out and offer its condolences to the family of the victim. They choose to shamelessly sit on the sidelines and act as though this is yet another minor crime. It is not. There is no protection for the girls of India and thus, time has now come for the women of India to come learn to protect themselves. They have no choice. They cannot depend on men – irrespective of the relationship to them, to save them from harm. Indian women are not only raped by strangers but in many cases, by men in their family too. This is shameful on so many levels. Men supposedly worship the women in our families; call them Lakshmi, Durga, Mata, vow to protect their sisters while the women fast and pray for their long life. All for what? So that they may be raped one day. 

What will happen to this poor girl, no one knows. But the time to take a stand is now. Asking the men of India to grow some balls and protest against this heinous crime may be too much. Thus, the women have to come together now to demand protection from the government.

To end, I’ll say this. A young Indian girl was heard saying to an Indian news channel, ‘I’d rather be shot by a deranged man in America than be raped on a moving bus in Delhi.’

Greetings from Hong Kong!

I’ve been totally MIA and I apologize. Hope ya’ll didn’t miss me too much but amidst the move and then adjusting to the insanity that is Hong Kong, I was driven to take a tiny blogging sabbatical. However, here I am again, ready to rock n roll like never before. So yes, after a tearful goodbye from the U.S. to Hong Kong, I took what was easily a nerve-wrecking journey back to Hong Kong solo. To say that I was nervous, would be an understatement, I was literally falling apart. Talking to myself, and my rather (over)friendly South Indian neighbor, helped get me through 12 hours of anxiety. And honestly, I couldn’t really understand my jitters. I mean, I was heading home. Perhaps it’s the fear of change that made me feel rather on edge. Anyhow, here I am, nearly two weeks into being back in Hong Kong and I am alive. But how it has changed! Honestly, I’m a tourist in my own home– or that is how it feels at least.

While Hong Kong still possesses the same hustling-bustling vibe, it definitely has changed immensely. For starters, my old building in which I grew up, has now become a hotel. And if I didn’t know any better, I would never even have known it was my home. I can barely recognize the roads, the buildings and a lot of the monuments I remembered as a kid have been replaced by buildings or are under construction which makes it even more foreign.

I’ve realized that I have to rediscover the city all over again. What I left behind almost a decade was a concrete jungle; this is now a concrete Amazon jungle. And I swear to you for ten minutes, I had to sit and ask myself, “What are you doing here?” Then while I sat and pondered over that very question with one of my closest friends, I looked over the infamous Victoria Harbor and the sight reminded me of how beautiful a city Hong Kong is.

I sighed and realized, I was home.

Hong Kong in all it's glory

Check it out! The Yellow Pages : First Edition!

For the life of me I fail to understand or appreciate any kind of music outside the Bollywood arena. Okay, that’s not completely true but what makes me want to put an album on repeat is soul, deep lyrics and music that is haunting. So when fellow Sindhi (and buddy) Gaurav Jagwani asked me to take a quick listen and preview his first album The First Edition by his The Yellow Pages, I heard, loved and asked for the entire album to review. The Yellow Pages features nine tracks all which individually are unique from one another in style and execution. To be fair, the album is one for those who appreciate independent music and are open to new styles. As a first timer, I found myself…addicted!

What impressed me mucho was the individuality that the album exudes. Immediately, you’re sucked into a different world which forces you to ponder, smile and in the end, feel hope. So here’s what left me stumped by The Yellow Pages. For starters, the lyrics. Between Jagwani and Simran Talreja, (who also sings for a number of the tracks and has wowed me— but more about that later) they manage to pen songs that are simple and yet, effective. Whether it’s the simplicity in the opening track, Life is a Risk, the confusion behind Messed Up, the uncertainty in The Half Empty Full Glass or the immense hope that is Rise Up, they all seem to tell a story which is relatable to the listener.

And then there are the vocalists. Gaurav Jagwani and Simran Talreja are incredible. You are immediately taken aback by how well Talreja holds her songs together with her unique soulful voice. As a first time listener, you cannot help but be in complete awe of her voice. She is simply superb! Jagwani, who not only plays vocalist but guitarist too, emotes poignantly. Individually and solo, they strike a chord which is expressive. In the tracks where they join forces, you feel the chemistry while solo too, they equally as effective. Between  both of the vocalists, you are left asking for much more.

The Yellow Pages

Joining the acoustic duo are Suprateek Chatterjee (rhythm for Life is a Risk and lead guitarist for the rest of the tracks) and Vikas Munipalle (Percussion). Together and solo, they impress. Watch out for both Chatterjee and Munipalle in the opening track who manages to add depth and mystery to the opening track. Later on, Chatterjee features in The Half Empty Full Glass and Six.

Naturally, I’m slightly bias cause Jagwani happens to be a close bud, but even if I put aside our close friendship, I still walk away feeling wowed by the experience the album is. My only criticism is that the album in totality is only 30 minutes long. But that should hardly deter you from supporting The Yellow Pages and their first album. You’re in for a surprise and a treat, too.

My pick: Rise Up!

You can buy the album (digital only for now) and learn more about the band here.

Oprah Winfrey: An Idiot Abroad!

Hands Off!

Dear Oprah Didi,

Before I start to tell you how stupid you are, I just want to ask you one quick question: Tere kya dimaag karaab ho gaya hai? Are you nuts? In a way I can understand. You’re from America, na? You lot are so ignorant. You eat sandwiches with a fork and knife. Poor us, we’re still living in the 17th century, you see. We still eat with our hands. No, no, it has nothing to do with traditions <insert sarcasm here>.

Let me educate you, cause it seems like you need it, Didi. You see we eat with our hands because we are not ashamed to sit and enjoy our food. As children, we are taught of the simplicities of life. Eating with our hands is one way in which we are able to fully engage in using all our senses while we indulge in our daily meals. So yes, Oprah Didi, we STILL use our hands to eat and you know what? We’ll probably do it forever. I’m more curious to know how you eat your fried chicken, pizzas and burgers. It’s rather sad that you associate how we eat with our progression as a country. Shame, Didi, shame.

I refuse to sit here and talk about how stupidly you depicted yourself and the western world via your show. We’re already used to the stereotypes that the west associates with India – we have cows everywhere, we’re poor, all of India is a slum, blah blah. But if you, a person who claims to be open-minded, unbiased, well-educated philanthropist, can make such immature comments, then really, I have no hope for the rest of the western world. By making such an ignorant and tacky statement, you’ve insulted India as a nation and as a culture too.

Your insensitive remarks on how a home in a slum begins before it ends made me yawn. Really? You think we’d be offended by that? Spare us. We know you westerners think India made up of nonstop slums and poverty. But let me tell you this. The family you visited in a tiny hole they call their home, is probably 20 times happier than you’ll ever be in your multimillion dollar mansion. In India, we don’t denote happiness and love with the size of our homes; we correlate our joys with our family unit.

But what really surprises me is that you, an African-American, who knows what exactly what it feels like to be a victim of racial profiling and stereotypes, has actually made such disgusting statements. Maybe we expected you to be more sensitive of our culture but you failed and how. So from now on, whenever African-Americans are projected in the wrong light, i.e. they’re all drug addicts, etc, I too am going to shrug my shoulders and pull an Oprah Winfrey: “Aren’t all African-Americans drug addicts…STILL?”

Just some FYI: we STILL eat with our hands, we STILL engage in arranged marriages, we STILL live in joint families and among many other things, cows STILL roam our streets. But you know what? We like it that way. In fact, we love it that way.

Also, by mingling with Bollywood stars and wearing designer saris, you don’t get even a slight inkling of experiencing the real India. Uhh and also, Ash and Abhi probably also STILL eat with their hands.

Peace out,
A-Desi-Girl-Who-STILL-Eats-With-Her-Hands

AK and his SMJ

In his better days (?)

I’m gonna turn cynic for a day—which is kinda sorta outta order for me, but oh well. I’ll admit it, I found myself totally and completely bowled over by Aamir Khan and his Satyameva Jayante. I knew the otherwise rather shaant Khan was going to take on rather iffy subjects and attack the Indian sentiment in hopes to awaken their otherwise asleep conscious. So it started with a bang and most of us went on taali maaro and seeti bajao. Yes, we knew about these burning issues, female infoeticide, dowry, domestic abuse and so on, but via SMJ, we were forced to take a deeper look at these issues at 11 AM on a Sunday morning—provided you were awake and not sleeping off a wretched hangover. But then something happened. It went stale. Here were are a few weeks later and when SMJ time comes around every week, SMJ cynics go haywire while the cheerleaders find themselves pasting last week’s tweets but not before they change the hashtag.

But did Aamir just fool us all this while? Were we just excited at the sheer novelty that it presented to us, Indians who are always on the lookout for something zara hatke. In reality, if you think about it, SMJ screamed tai tai phiss from the get go. For starters, that sorry set. How Aamir Khan, who is otherwise well known for putting together everything with perfection, manages to jut out such a dreary dull set which looks like it has depression issues, is beyond me. The set in itself asks for sympathy; can you really blame us for feeling like we really must shed tears every Sunday?

This may sound rather awful, but SMJ is not path-breaking television. Such formats are currently ongoing on a number of alternate Hindi channels. The difference? None of them have the backing of a well-known celebrity playing host or the backing of any big Indian companies. And the subjects chosen are often ones we’ve been told about repeatedly. This doesn’t mean that they shouldn’t be handled but at least tell us something we don’t know.

And before you think I’m all about being a Debbie Downer, let me tell you I don’t think it’s all that bad. I like the fact Khan has taken serious panga with the local doctors and the panchayat. That was cool. And I absolutely love the music of the show—Sona Mohapatra rocks every week as does the title track which provide more inspiration on days that the show fails to do so. Oh, and I love that it's all in Hindi.

Aamir has announced a season two for SMJ and here’s hoping that he will change a few things and mix it up so we’re not as inclined to troll the show. And while he’s at it, can someone please get him a new stylist? His clothes make me cry.

Because No One is Gay in Bollywood

When Anderson Cooper (you already knew he was gay, right?) comes out and tells the world he bats for the other team, the west applauds him. They all cannot get enough of how ‘bold’ and ‘honest’ he is. And I’m, errr, not sure why especially since, oh, we already knew! The west has always been more open and accepting about homosexuality, so why the hoopla when AC comes out to tell America something they already knew? It was a pretty well-known fact that Cooper was gay and if you didn’t know that, well then, you’ve been living under a rock. I think I was more depressed when Ricky Martin confessed he preferred men over women.

But the real question is, when will our own celebrities – the gay ones, finally churn out the courage to come out of their closets? I detest the façade that they project. They’ll make films about homosexuality which indirectly shows their support for the gay community but mind you, they have issues in talking about their own sexual preference. Hypocritical? I think so. And I don’t understand the issue. India has become relatively progressive about homosexuality. In fact, the ‘upper classmen’, i.e. celebrities, are often praised and lauded for being so candid about such topics. For the most part, those very celebrities would most likely being plastered on the glossies and gain immense praise from the LGBT community. It’s the middle-class who often suffers and finds themselves having to veil their sexuality from the world.

“We [celebrities] have responsibilities,” they shout from the rooftops. So why is it then that Bollywood stars have issues in declaring their sexuality— which is pretty gosh darn evident anyway, and create a pathway for people in totality? Why do they instead dodge the question or alternatively claim they don’t care if everyone thinks they’re gay? If you can’t admit to your own sexual preference, then you sure as hell do not deserve to make films about the same.

In a country where people are often motivated to make changes and are inspired by Hindi films, acceptance and acknowledgement of being openly gay by the n amount of actors that clearly are homosexuals, could perhaps open up a door that the mango people (aam aadmi) are too scared to peek through. It wasn’t until very recently that being gay in India was finally decriminalized. And why it was ever criminalized was beyond anyone’s understanding. What two consenting adults do in the privacy of their home is really no one’s concern or business. Shouldn’t this issue be documented and made into a film? The problem ultimately lies with us. We, as moviegoers, are addicted to this “paisa vasool” phenomena that we simply refuse to watch a film that may actually tell us a thing or two. “Bore hai yaar,” we say. No, instead, we’d much rather watch a film where the actress is skimpily clad and dancing on a beer barrel. I just re-read that sentence and realized how incredibly moronic and archaic we appear.

But I don’t expect the industrywalas to take such chances anytime soon. Their idea of being “thoda hatke” involves films which are about reincarnation and superheroes. Yes. In the meantime, our gay celebs will continue to do what they do best: act. Because no one is gay in Bollywood.

Doctor KK Talwar of the Medical Council of India,

You are a disgusting man. How dare you sit on a public platform and act like you’re doing the country a favor by merely existing? Did you not feel even an ounce of remorse for every single person whose life has been destroyed by the malpractice of sick doctors? And when you were question by Aamir Khan as to a commitment, you simply shook your head. Sick. We all saw you looking to run out the nearest studio door as a wave of guilt came your way. Your hesitation and lack words towards making any changes, or reform, is unacceptable. You’ve been in office for nine months. Is that not enough time for you to have made any changes?

I was totally shocked by your inadequacy to answer even simply questions which any Chairman of a medical council should/would know. How on earth should we expect any changes in Indian healthcare when you have no idea as to how many doctor’s licenses have been revoked. I could have told you that and I have close to zero knowledge about the Indian healthcare system except that it is in dire need of reform. How should I, an aam aadmi, be expected to understand the policies of the MCI when you are unable to comprehend them yourself?

I’d love to take a peek at your bank account over the last nine months. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if overnight, you’ve found yourself X amount times richer courtesy of all the ‘work’ you’ve done. Look, I’m not saying that it is your solo job to eradicate corruption from the medical field, but for heaven’s sake, make some bloody changes. When the women of a village find themselves devoid of a uterus, then really, some real big changes need to take place and now.

Post the show, I sat to google the reactions that people had towards your appearance on Satyamev Jayante. The consensus was clear: you are nothing but a sham. The manner in which you presented yourself and the MCI was simply disgusting. As an Indian, I expect nothing from you, nor do I expect any changes from the MCI.

I believe that change will only happen in the generation that follows. It is through them that hopefully we will see changes in the Indian healthcare system. Until then, I hope that the citizens of India, who have lost loved ones, body parts and those who are still footing huge bills after no fault of their own, realize ultimately, as usual, they will have to take things into their own hands.

Apparently, you’ve been felicitated with a number of awards and recognition too. But for what? You reek of corruption, deceit and guilt.

Gross.

How to be an ABCD

Last year, I was asked to pen a piece for an online Indo-American site (which will remain nameless) about cricket. The editor said, “Keep it simple. Oh, and Indo-Chic.” I remember having a, “Hayeen?” moment. WTF is “Indo-Chic?” I thought. She said, “American Indians don’t consider India their home. They are Americans who happen to be Indian.” If you know me well, you know that at that moment, over a hundred-million gaalis (bad horrid obscene ones) went through my head. And then I thought to myself, “Maybe it’s not them…maybe, it’s me.” I was too Desi, no? I needed to fit in. But how on earth does one become an ABCD? This is how.

Shorten your name. Krishna becomes Krish, Samarpreet becomes Sam.

Choose between adapting to either White people or Black people lingo making you either ‘white-washed’ or ‘ghetto’.

Secretly keep only one or two Hindi/Punjabi tracks on your iPod.

Date Americans, Italians, Blacks and Mexicans before you finally allow Mama to choose you a life partner.

Meet at your local place of worship every Sunday so you can ogle at other Desi hotties and/or gossip about the local ‘slut’.

Dance (read: grind and gyrate) on Friday nights out at clubs with complete strangers but stand in a corner at local Garbas.

Wear strapless/sleeveless/über short skirts in college but when you come home, wear jeans, a tee and look exhausted.

Learn to make the roundest roti ever but you must scream ‘ew’ and ‘yuck’ when you smell tadka.

You can only like one of two Bollywood actors: Shah Rukh Khan or Salman Khan.

Only post videos of Justin Bieber. Make sure you poke fun of friends who post Bollywood videos.

Make videos called, ‘How to be Brown.’

Your room’s wall must be plastered with at least one Eminem poster.

Christmas/Thanksgiving > Diwali.

The answer to, ‘Have you been to India?’ is always, ‘Yes. Once.’

Make a trip to India to, ‘Find your roots.’

Laugh at and hate FOBs.

Use the acronym MLID for everything. 

Relate to every Russell Peters joke.

You must think cricket is a ‘poor man’s baseball’.

Make sure you’re shocked when you see a steamy scene in a Hindi film even though you’ve seen hotter bolder American films.

Wear a sari to at least one of your proms so your friends can ogle over how exotic you are but make a fuss about wearing a salwar suit on Sunday to the temple/gurudwara.

You must own one tube of Fair N Lovely while your non-Indian friends admire your natural 'tan'. 

‘Jai Ho’ is your understanding of the Indian National Anthem.

Brag about how you’re not scared of your parents but fear them like no other in reality.

Never eat with your hands.

Karan Johar films. Enough said.


Not so hard to become one in the end, eh? As for me…yeah, I pass. It's far too cumbersome to become one of them. I think I’ll stick to being myself: fobby, deeply rooted and far too Desi for the average person. 

Ten Day You Challenge: 1 Picture!

It took me an extra day to get to Day 10. Just when you think life can't throw you any curve balls, it does just that. And it's really odd that this "curve ball" happened to occur a day before I would have finished up my challenge. But such is life. I think there was a message behind it, which I haven't figured out just yet. But I will. Anyway, so Day 10 of the challenge is to put up a picture of myself. It got me thinking about myself. I'm hardly your atypical normal girl. I'm bipolar, filmy, a dramebaaz, nautanki, talk to much, like nearly everything but hate just as many things, get angry far too quickly, love passionately as I detest and so on. I actually sound supremely complicated, na? Okay, really it's not like that. I just have a lot of shades, I guess.

Okay one picture... hmmm okay, I pick this one.

By the way, with this the Ten Day You Challenge also ends. Done!

Ten Day You Challenge: 2 Songs!

Two songs. While I thought this was going to be incredibly hard, it actually was really simple.

1) You are my Sunshine - My grandfather believed I was the most sunniest, brightest child. He called me his sunshine and always said I'd light up any room. Explains my name too, I guess. But it's the memory of sitting with my grandfather, singing this song loudly before he'd hug me and laugh.

2) Aye Zindagi Gale Laga Le - Life has not been a bed of roses. How I've come out smiling, happy and giddy is beyond my understanding. I think Aye Zindagi is exactly what I'd like to tell/have been telling the universe and life.

Oh last day tomorrow and my challenge will be complete! 

Ten Day You Challenge: 3 Films!

So basically, this is really hard for me. Ya'll know that naturally, all my favorite films are Hindi. But to choose THREE? Are you kidding me? Phir se suicide karne ka waqt aa gaya hai lagta hai. No, but seriously. How on earth can I choose three? Uhhh, yeah I'm gonna cheat...yet again.

Hindi Films - old, new, cheesy, lame, inspirational, social, parallel, comedies, tragedies, romance, apologetically stupid, completely idiotic and so on, I love em all. If it were possible, I'd prefer my life to be one big Bollywood film.

Foreign Films - I absolutely love a good foreign film. They really hold incredible substance and stories that really hit home.


Old Musicals - I very rarely find a Hollywood film amazing but I do love their old school musicals. Mary Poppins, The Sound of Music, Grease, Dirty Dancing, I could go on and on....

Desi, Chokri and Nearly 30? You Need This!

So sitting at the salon the other day, I stumbled upon this fabulous article: “Things Every Woman Should Have and Should Know by The Time She’s 30”. I read, laughed, agreed with most of it and then digested it all. Now, this was obviously an American magazine which meant, I couldn’t relate to a lot of it. For the most part, we Desi girls lead different lives courtesy of our values, et al. But the article lingered in my head for a while and I couldn’t help but wonder about what things we Desi girls should have and know by age 30. And please do not ask me for my age. I’m as young as I look which of course, is 16. Right? Okay the list. Ready?

By 30, you should have:

A past that is controversial/juicy enough that you could easily turn it into a Shobha De-esque book or an Ekta Kapoor serial.

Cried yourself to sleep over a broken heart with your favorite melodrama/sad song…in your head.

Gotten drunk while watching a Hindi film in the cinema.

Full on tashaan.

Seen the Kama Sutra and laughed at how pretentious it is.

A signature drink ala Screw Driver or Whiskey…Patiala.

Drunk yourself silly and walked around the city singing, “Yeh Dosti” with your best friend.

Figured out which Bollywood actress you hate because you’re insanely jealous of how beautiful she is and no other reason.

A pair of fabulous heels and kohlapuri chappals.

Taken a trip with your girls to Spain thinking you’re gonna change your life after watching Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara.

Crushed over a Hindi telly star.

Mastered the art of shying, crying and being coy.

By 30, you should know:

Which designer will be designing your trousseau and who will perform at your Sangeet (applicable to the unmarried ladies).

That Bollywood is a complete sham which has given you unrealistic expectations of men and life.

That said, you should know which Hindi movie you’d most like to model your life around.

How to roll a perfectly round roti and make amazing chai.

How to kill a coachroach with your chappal.

The names of your future children.

That all Desi men are mama’s boys and you cannot do anything about it.

How to drown out emotional blackmail and guilt trips from Mom and Dad.

Mastered at least three Desi dishes.

How to smartly dodge the “Teri shaadi kab hogi?” question (also only applicable to unmarried gals).

That Facebook has been overtaken by gossiping Aunties and Uncles. Please update your statuses and pictures accordingly.

Which Hindi serial you watch secretly while you diss it out to the rest of the world.

Ten Day You Challenge: 4 Books!

Yet another curve ball this challenge throws at me. Sigh. Four books? Isse acha hai mein suicide karlu! Okay, I’m done being a nautanki. So four books, it asked me to list. Here are they are:

Home (Manju Kapur) – Most people detest this book. I love it! A must read which really captures life in Delhi superbly.

Palace of Illusions (Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni) – Never has the Mahabharat seemed so amazing! This is the world of the Mahabharat through the eyes of Draupadi.

The Little Prince (Antoine de Saint-Exupéry) – This is actually a 1943 children’s book, believe it or not. However, you’re treated to lessons about love, life and human nature.

A Thousand Splendid Suns (Khaled Hosseini) – As an author, Hosseini is simply superb and while everyone swears by The Kite Runner, I am more of a fan of his second book. It just hits home in every way!

Beyond the Nip Slip

During a Euro trip in the late nineties, I witnessed my first boobage extravaganza. Let me explain. I grew up in Hong Kong amidst a society (and family) that kept us very sheltered. We were never introduced to many “modern” ideas. Okay rephrase. Besides alcohol, (I’m Sindhi, hello!) we were exposed to nothing. No drugs, no porn, no nudity at all. So off we go to Europe and all of a sudden, the world is now one sexy oyster. Amidst the numerous times we “wowed”, we found ourselves completely flabbergasted one afternoon.

There we were sitting at a beautiful café in the center of Vienna, Austria. On the next table was a local woman with a baby. We ate, they ate and all of a sudden, the baby cried. And then, what happened shocked the daylights out of us. The mother pulled unbuttoned her shirt, pulled out her breast and right there in the middle of central Vienna, she breast fed her baby. Besides our table, no one else cared at all. They went about their business while we all looked in shock. This was 1999.

Once we were over our initial shock, a rather odd discussion started. My grandmother was simply disgusted. My mother believed that it was the culture and that Europeans were far more progressive. But it was a local Uncle of mine, who looked at all of us and said, “What’s so wrong? It’s nature.” This caused a heated debate and while at 16, I had an opinion, we were taught to shut up when adults were talking. And so, I sat, listened and debated the topic in my head.

Here were are over a decade later, and Americans are debating how inappropriate they believe it is. In recent times, celebrities including Beyonce, who have been spotted openly breastfeeding their babies in public. Naturally, the American media has gone gung-ho over the whole ordeal. But if America is as progressive as they claim to be, why is this, such an issue? And really with the amount of cleavage American girls tend to show, this is slightly hypocritical, no?

My take on it is a bit conservative. I think motherhood is beautiful and breastfeeding is one such aspect of motherhood which forever connects the child to its mother. So really, why the hoopla over a public display of breastfeeding, right? Right...and wrong. The connection funda is beautiful in theory, but it is also should be a private one. Really whipping out your boob in public is hardly ladylike also. Maybe this has something to do with my culture and its rather deep influence on my values. I don’t think any Indian woman would ever nurse in public. We’ll cover up with a dupatta, a towel, a shawl but no way will you catch us unhooking our sari blouses in the middle of a shaadi. No jee. We’re more than happy to wear clothes with plunging necklines but that’s all you’ll get to see. And I don’t care how modern we are; we’re just not those kinda girls I guess.

Ten Day You Challenge: 5 Foods!

I'm gonna slightly cheat here because it's unfair to name 5 of my favorite foods. C'mon how on earth do you expect me to name only FIVE? I live to eat. I wake up and plan my lunch and just before lunch, think about my evening chai by which time I crave for my dinner. So yeah, I cheated but only slightly. Instead of naming my favorite foods individually, here are some food "groups" that I lurveeee.Oh, and these are in no particular order.


Deserts - Desi, Chinese, Middle Eastern, American, I love 'em all!
Halwa Puri - It's my favorite comfort food in the world. And no, contrary to belief, I am not from Meerut.
Dim Sum - I grew up eating Dim Sum every Sunday. It's as good as home cooked food for me.
Sandwiches - There is nothing like a good yummy sandwich with extra cheese, mayo, mustard and some peppercinis.
Rasta Food - Hawker food is amazing no matter which part of the world you're in. That said, nothing beats rasta food in Bombay. Pani puris, sandwiches and a plate of pav bhaji. Ahhhhh, heaven!

The Vagina Fairologues

I don’t understand what the big drama is about vaginas. Women all over the world will tell you that we pay a lot of attention to all aspects of our body but very little to our vaginas. All of a sudden, we’ve put the Indian women's vagina under the microscope. Like it was hard enough to be a woman what with the waxing, our monthly menstrual and childbirth, here’s another issue: whitening your vagina. And while the rest of the world are going “hai tauba”, crying “blasphemy” and tweeting “#WTF”, I actually have no real issue with Clean and Dry Intimate Wash. I do have a major issue with the television advertisement but zero problems with the product itself. Now don’t go judging me; hear me out already.

Eons ago, the problem was pubic hair. It just wasn’t sexy, hot, erotic and so on. Men all over will tell name their favorite Playboy models who pose in the nude sans a single body hair. So off we went to wax every single piece of hair off our smooth silky bodies. We dealt and still deal with the excruciating pain of Brazilian, Hollywood and various types of vaginal waxing, why? All for the sake of looking sexy. And yeah, also because apparently it’s hygienic which is really up for debate. Hygienists will tell you, pubic hair serves as protection to infection and bacteria. Anyhow, all for the sake of looking like Playboy models who pose nude (while we don’t), off it all comes, one waxing strip at a time. I don’t hear anyone going on about how that is “so wrong” and “why can’t we be accepted for owning hairy vaginas?” Where were ya’ll then?

Out comes this Clean and Dry Intimate Wash which not only washes but bleaches your vagina and then everyone becomes an activist towards vaginas. What is the bloody big deal? I’m not saying it’s right or wrong but to each woman their own. I hardly think this should become a national controversy.

My issue is the commercial which is now being aired on televisions all across India. The setup and situation presented is hardly one that normal. A husband ignoring his wife because her vagina isn’t fair enough, or so we're meant to comprehend, is really not a mundane enough example. And then of course, she uses the wash and badda-bing, he’s ready to get his freak on. Okay, really? Let’s be honest here, as long as men are getting some, they are hardly ones to sit and investigate how fair, or not, their woman’s vagina is.

India is a society based on fairness. As young girls, we were kept out of the sun for that reason only, “You’ll get dark!” Is it right? No, of course not. But we are slowly moving away from the idea of it. We’re more accepting of dusky, darker women—they’re equally as sexy. But really, we’re making far too big a deal about this whole ordeal. It’s just your regular feminine wash which happens to fair you up down there. So what?

If nothing, this entire ordeal has caused a lot more Indian women to pay more attention to their vaginas. That’s for sure.