Movies Picks for 2013

My poor blog has been neglected since I’ve joined the world of Tatler. And I always promised I would never forget my roots, i.e. this very portal. So my New Year resolution is to blog a lot more frequently. In the meantime, I’ve been swamped with messages regarding my movie picks for 2013. So I’ve decided to end the year with my hits for the year. It was an interesting year for Hindi cinema. The films that made waves were ones that were expected to fail and vice versa. There were sequels, lots of Khan action and a few surprises.

Special 26 – May not be as great as Neeraj Pandey’s A Wednesday but definitely a smart and quick watch

ABCD – Any Body Can Dance – Prabhudeva steals the show and the dance routines are incredible

Jolly LLB – Undoubtedly one of the most underrated films of the year, which tells the story of a small town lawyer and his most important case

Aashiqui 2 – The most profitable film of the year also wins my vote for album of the year with not a single English word used in any of the
songs – win!

Raanjhanaa – Must watch for Dhanush and his amazing dance in the title song!

Lootera – Look, I’m not a Ranveer Singh fan, but Vikramaditya Motwane never fails to impress with his unique storylines and direction 

Madras Café – Surprise, surprise, John Abraham can act. Great film which tells an interesting story

The Lunchbox – Why this Irrfan Khan film didn’t make the Oscar cut, I’ll never know but its simple plot of a housewife and food is beautifully executed 

Kai Po Che! – I am the first to admit the book was better but nevertheless, Kai Po Che deserves a mention

Vishwaroop – I was forced to watch this film (thanks, Dad) but walked away wowed by the quick and unexpected storyline. Kamal Hassan never fails to impress

 

Bhaag Milkha Bhaag – The story of a man who never won gold but also never gave up. Farhan Akhtar at his best

Yeh Jawani Hai Deewani – The feel good film of the year has a weak plot but with colours, great music, fun dances and a good-looking cast, you walk away feeling young and giddy

FYI, Dhoom 3 hasn’t been watched yet but I have a feeling, it won’t make the cut. Neither did Chennai Express or Krrish 3. Didn’t work for me.

See you at the movies next year! 

Happy Birthday Bollywood: Tum Jeeyo Hazaaron Saal!

I don’t care how much I’m mocked and made fun of, I love Bollywood. It’s been there for me as a best friend should. It’s been a support, it’s inspired, it’s made me laugh, cry and many days even question my sanity and love for it; however, it has been there for me like a rock. And when people tell me they don’t get my love it, I simply shrug my shoulders and flick my hair like a Bollywood heroine. Because that is how it is done.

Look, Bollywood, for the most part, is not intelligent cinema. But it is definitely not stupid cinema. There is a reason it’s been around for a century now. As an industry, we have them all – filmmakers who are smart, cheesy, wacky, senseless, eccentric and some that are simply savvy enough to make films that hit home every time. Bollywood in actuality is like chicken soup – good for your soul. I know for it’s probably more hip and cool to know every single Scorsese film and the various popular dialogues that are associated with those films, but I know none. However, I can recite dialogues from a number of Raj Kapoor films which are as deep and profound and entertaining as Scorseses’. I can’t sing to you the title song of the new James Bond film but I can definitely sing to you a number of Mother India songs by heart and explain the depth behind each line of the song.

And if you think the west is sitting and laughing at us, you couldn’t be any more wrong. They know we have a winner on our hands what with all the money we generate and with the growing popularity. But they subtly take inspiration from us and now, they even invest in our films happily. Hindi cinema has evolved quite beautifully over time. It has changed in style and taste. It’s more modern and relatable which makes it that much more interesting. From the times where sex was depicted in the form of flowers dancing in a field to now where bold sex scenes aren’t practically normal. Whether it’s the story lines, the fashion, the lyrics in songs and even the execution of the films, it has all changed rapidly.

Looking to the future, you can be sure that Bollywood will only grow to become bolder and more beautiful. And its popularity will grow, this is for sure. So here’s to an industry that is 100 but doesn’t seem to age and we know, will only get younger with time. In the meantime, thank you Bollywood, for amazing dialogues, for music so vast that we are baffled during weddings, for actors that allow us to drool, for fashion that adds to our wardrobes and for controversies that make us laugh.

And on a more personal note, thank you for being with me over the last 30 years. You’ve been a solid friend!






*On a side note, it's been ages since I've blogged courtesy of moving house! But promise to be more regular from here on! Lots to vent about. Keep it locked here!

High Off Hong Kong!

Welcome to Hong Kong— where time is a commodity and 24 hours fall far too short especially if you need to fit in work, sleep and play. Sometimes, you find yourself wishing for just one more hour. In fact, if you live in Hong Kong, you should by default be allocated 36 hours. It should be the law. That said, the mere fact that we find 24 hours short puts you in this amazing feel of euphoria. The speed, madness and frantic rush gives you the ultimate adrenaline high. It’s such a fabulous high, that you can’t imagine yourself without it once you’re addicted. Yes, it is a drug to certain degree.

It’s been seven months since I’ve been back and I don’t think I’ve had a dull moment. From getting lost almost 100 times – yes I get lost in Hong Kong, to crazy nights out, rekindling with my old friends whom I now realize, I missed so much to making such amazing new friends, celebrating my 30th and today, I’ll be getting my Sindhi on as I attend a Chetti Chand mela. It’s really no wonder I haven’t had a minute to blog in the last one month. But honestly, this is how life should be; crazy, fun, busy and filled with great memories.

So I celebrated my 30th birthday last weekend. Yes, 30 years of living on this planet. Where did time go? I remember all my milestone birthdays—18, 21, 25. All very big bashes. My birthday, for some odd reason, has always been a big deal in my family. Dad says, first child; Mom says the same; my sister and brother are not so big on theirs so they vicariously celebrate through me, I guess. And I of course, love it! My 30th was incredible fun! But that’s Hong Kong for you. A place where everyone gets together and celebrates for every reason…sometimes no reason too!

I’ve never been one to live a somber quiet life; this is a new realization, of course. I did it for close to a decade. My poor adrenaline; it accumulated and has now burst after many years of dormancy. And while I’ll complain that I’m so busy and incredibly overwhelmed, I love it. I love every minute of being here. I’m home. Now, I know, I am. And I have no intentions of leaving any time soon.

Here’s to me, my adrenaline rush and 30 more years of fobulousness!

Speak for Humanity: One Billion Rising - Dance-A-Thon!

Valentine's Day is a day of love, passion, compassion and kindness. While most people insist this means red roses, teddy bears and romantic dinners, in 2013 this is hardly a way to celebrate. Look, we live in a day and time where the world has become harder to live in. In fact, forget harder, it's become dangerous to live in this world. Over the last week, I've sat with myself and fought with myself over why the world has become this way. Wars, rape, murders; it doesn't seem to end. So really, where is the love? Why is it we can't find it in ourselves to display and show T.L.C. for one another? Why do we insist on hurting one another. No. I refuse to believe that this world is devoid of love. I will not live in a world where love doesn't exist. And thus, on February 14th, an international day of love, I will go out, a single woman in Hong Kong and dance my way into a new world.

Speak for Humanity, an organization dedicated to the betterment of the world, has joined with a global project known as The One Billion Rising Movement. As an organization, Speak for Humanity has a number of objectives that it supports. These include:
- Raising awareness about issues of global concern
- Serving as a platform for dialogue and engagement
- Serving as an interface to connect global actors striving for change

It's motto, "Injustice Anywhere is Injustice Everywhere," speaks for the extent to which the organization wishes to make a change. The Dance-a-thon will be one of several events which will serve as a launchpad for the organization.


The purpose of the Dance-a-thon is to bring about equality and safety to women all over the world through workshops and various methods including the February 14th, Dance-a-thon. More details are available on the Facebook page and website but this is your chance to change the face of how women in the world. As citizens of the modern world, it is our responsibility to decide how women are treated now and in the future.

Speak out and dance it out, this February 14th at Statue Square from 8 PM to 10 PM. Bring your friends, your valentine, your family, the women in your life.

This is Valentine's Day, make it one with a difference.

Republic Day in India: Just Another Holiday?

Yet another Republic Day dawns on India and the country will celebrate. Not because they happen to be the biggest democracy in the world but simply because they have a day off from work and school. The symbolism behind 26th January is simply to mark the arrival and acceptance of the Indian Constitution. But over the last few months, has the country really earned any real reasons to be proud of itself?

Throughout 2012, India has behaved like one of the most undemocratic countries in the world. And in all honesty, it hardly surprises me that the country is excited for Republic Day for a rather lazy reason. If we quickly review the year that was, you’ll realize that India is clearly falling in a backward spiral that bares an uncanny resemblance to a neighboring country.

India is a country that quickly forgot about three ministers who were caught watching ‘objective videos’ (read: porn) during an assembly session. While we laughed and outraged for a day, we let the government sweep such an issue under the carpet. We then allowed a state funeral for a dictator, Bal Thackeray. The city of Mumbai was shut down and immobilized for a day as people were forced to pay respects to a man who has ruled over a city via a non-functioning government for years. And then, when a young girl from democratic, free-speech allowed India decided to question the need for such an extravagant funeral and for the shut down of Mumbai, her Facebook post landed her in jail. If that wasn’t Taliban-like enough, the whole world watched (and is currently watching) how we as a country reacted to the brutal gang rape of young girl on a bus in Delhi. Onlookers were too afraid to get involved because of sheer fear of the local corrupt police. We saw government and religious leaders make obscure conservative comments, take no responsibility and attempted to play down the issue. And when the otherwise passé people of India stood up against such an atrocity, they were beaten by the police as they protested in and around Delhi.

The problem is that we are more concerned with stupid issues that do not really matter. We’re more worried about why Oprah Winfrey made India appear outdated in her documentary. Well, the fact of matter is if you behave in such a fashion, then what else do you expect? Instead of worrying about her eating her chapatti with two hands, we should really be worrying about how we ought to teach the men in India to keep both hands to themselves. In a secular country with such a huge democracy, India now needs to worry about the future of its state more than ever. The country is moving at a rapid pace in the wrong direction. If you will behave and govern the country in a Talebanesque fashion, what example are you setting for future generations and to the rest of the world?

It is during such times that one looks to the government for strict firm action and swift change in education, social reform and attitude. They call on generation X to take charge and run the country. But do they realize that they hold on to them by a tight leash? They tell them to speak their mind but teach them lessons of inequality and gender differences. And when something horrendous happens, they point fingers at the influx of western cultural influences, films and other idiotic reasons. Our educated ministers are nothing but mute goats while the uneducated run the country in a most undemocratic old fashioned manner – the only way they know best.

The West looks at India and laughs now. Filled with corruption, rapes, poverty and nonstop drama, this is the country that is regarded as a ‘future superpower?’ Democratic countries allow their people to grow; they teach them how to be better citizens.

Today, I’m sure I can speak collectively when I say that as Indians, we are incredibly proud of our heritage and our country. It’s our ministers we’ve been put down by repeatedly.

So on this day, what should the people of India hope for? Well, for starters India needs to wake up from the 1936 bubble they are currently engulfed in. Then, they need to stop it with the ‘chalta hai’ attitude. Change can only come when they group together and demand it. That is how a democracy works. Social reform is one that future generations will need to take on themselves. And above everything, they better hope all their Gods come together and protect from falling in a downward pit and pray for a brighter modern tomorrow.

Personally, I’m a diehard Indian. Amidst the failures of the country, I still see beauty and hope. And as usual, in true filmy fashion, here’s one that always resonates with me, “Koi bhi desh perfect nahi hota use perfect banana padta hai.”

Vande Mataram! 

Short and Quick Movie Review: Table No. 21

* Okay, the requests have been nonstop so I had to restart. Yes, movie reviews are back more so because my Dad was upset I stopped. But as usual, my reviews are short and quick. Who has time for long reviews anyway?

 

Table No. 21 follows Vivaan (Rajeev Khandelwal) and Siya (Tena Desai), a couple on a vacation which they win via a contest. As they are wined and dined on the island of Fiji, they become a part of a dangerous reality show game. Soon they realize that all is not what it seems. As their relationship and trust for one another is tested, they soon unravel the reason as to why they were called on as contestants in the first place.

While you initially gravitate towards the film because of its unusual plot, it soon becomes slightly cumbersome and repetitive. However, that said, the film touches on a number of themes which are prevalent to today’s times including modern day relationships, modern technology and even, ragging. What works for the film is the fact that it doesn’t rely on a tried and tested formula which most thrillers use. And while you are curious to understand why it is the couple is being tested, the climax comes as a huge shock but is also somewhat confusing too.

As a director, Aditya Datt sticks to a genre he knows well—one of complicated relationships and hidden pasts. He tackles the film and its plot well but more attention needed to be given to the idea of ragging especially since it seemed to be the moral of the story. The film thrives on its performances. Yet again the much underrated Rajeev Khandelwal comes out scoring top notch with Table No. 21. He proves time and time again that he can handle films and scripts that are different yet enticing. We really do need to see more of him. Paresh Rawal is an actor who can handle almost any film and thus, Table No. 21 is as easy as it gets for him. New girl Tena Desai creates quite an impact in her debut film. She surprises with her mature and subdued but effective performance.

Table No. 21 as a film does well to entertain and keep you glued to the screen. While there are a number of gaping holes, it comes at a time where brainless comedies are no longer working. Audiences are more accepting of intellectual films. Table No. 21 is just that—smart and witty. Definitely a must watch.

'The Obnoxious Case of the Incredible Indian Men'

I’m convinced that many Indian men in power, i.e. political and religious leaders, do not have a connection between their brain and mouth. They lack sensitivity and are clearly living in an 1823 bubble which is the only explainable reason for their ignorance and their backward mentality. How else would you explain the nonsense they have been uttering over the past few weeks regarding Delhi rape case which has left India and the international community shocked?

It all began with the President’s son who decided to call the women protesting ‘highly dented and painted’. For starters, that hardly makes sense. I’m assuming this figure of speech is normally used for vehicles. I think. But what exactly is a ‘dented’ and ‘painted’ woman? If I try to make sense of his statement, I’m gonna go with the fact that’s he is a male chauvinist who cannot fathom the fact that modern Indian women are no longer ready to stay repressed and thus, are coming out by the hundreds to stand up for their gender. He is yet one of those outdated men who believe that Indian women should shut up and stay at home. Too bad his sister couldn’t be one of those women; she happens to be a dancer.

Next up was Mr. Mohan Bhagwat, an RSS leader, who decided that in his demented jaded head that rapes only happen in India and not in Bharat. Are you confused yet? Don’t worry, I’m as muddled. What I think he was getting at is that ‘India’ refers to the more urban areas while ‘Bharat’ is the rural parts. This basically infers that rapes only happen in cities and not in villages or less developed areas. Errr, really? Here’s some trivia, just for Mr. Bhagwat. Seventy-five percent of rape cases have been reported from rural India.

Then there is the great Asaram Bapu—I had no clue who on earth he was until he stated that the victim was as guilty as the rapists. His theory was that the victim should have begged and not fought back. If she would have called them her ‘brothers’, they would have not raped her. Yes, when this poor was getting raped and stripped of her dignity, she should have done just this. Mind you this is coming from a man who also claims women should be restricted to home chores and is against the westernization of Indian society. The bigger question here is would he tell the ladies in his own family to fall at the feet of rapists and call them their brothers too?

And this is just two of many absurd theories, comments and statements that have come from a number of well-known leaders across many arenas in Indian political and religious groups. 

What is most irritating about the fact that these religious leaders and politicians are politicizing the issue with their backward statements, is that a bulk of India actually supports these people and thoughts. They do not feel the need for these men to apologize for their insensitivity. This theoretically means that this rigid mindset has already been set set in stone and so such beliefs will fall to their children and so on. Ultimately, this starts a domino effect that cannot be eradicated at all. Such outrageous and demeaning comments only further these old-fashioned and incorrect beliefs which do nothing but encourage more men to ill-treat women. Instead of preaching to the men to realize that women are their equals and cannot be looked down upon, they choose to further promote atrocities against women in India.

All of a sudden, the road to liberating women in India seems long and rocky filled with potholes in the form of men like the above, who simply cannot see past the old school depiction of Indian women. One can only hope the likes of Mata Lakshmi, Durga Maa and all the female goddesses up there, give strength to the women of India as they take on this battle to secure themselves and the future of Indian women.

Oh and before I end, there is also one more idiot—a minister from Chhatigarh, who claims that there is no ‘clear answer’ for the crimes against women and thus, it is because ‘the stars are not in position’. Right.

SRT: Now That The God is Gone....

Person X: “The Indian cricket team sucks! You lot are useless. (Insert team name here) are much better.”
Me: “Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar. Enough said.”
Person X: (silence)

This is probably my nth blog post on the maestro, but as a fan, you can never get enough of his brilliance. And then he goes and retires on you only to crush you. But no one will ever come close to Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar. No one.

I refuse to sit here and speculate as to why he chose to retire from One Day Internationals. I don’t know if it was a personal decision, a board decision or even a decision made under pressure. All I know is that without jersey number 10, the Indian team is incomplete. In the land of cricket, we lose a god; a man who spoke less with his words but more so with his bat. As a young cricket fanatic, the amount of times I’ve stayed up late watching him bat with my mouth open only to fall asleep in school, are countless. But nothing was more important than watching SRT play his master strokes.

To call Tendulkar talented is an understatement; he defines Indian cricket. Yes, he’s has his share of blows – physical and personal, but he’s always jumped right back into the game. It doesn’t matter how big the blows – his father’s sudden demise, tennis elbow injuries and simply being out of form, he proved his critics wrong by getting back in and hitting like the master he is.

Perhaps it is too early for him to retire; many will say so. But it doesn’t matter what we think, believe or claim. The fact of the matter is that we have bid adieu to one of the finest cricketers in the history of the sport. Never again will we witness such beautiful cricket and for that, we must thank him for a treat that lasted over twenty years. While we sit and watch Sachin reruns, reminisce over our favorite SRT moments and tell stories of his brilliance to our children, we also know we will never see anyone quite like him ever again. There will be some who come close but no one will ever match the man to the T.

And while this will definitely not be my last Sachin Tendulkar post, it will be the only one I wrote with teary eyes. SRT, you will, are and will always be India’s number one son. We love, respect and salute you for your contribution to the country, the sport and our lives. The crease will seize to be same. That, I assure you. Alvida Master, Alvida.

Do's and Don'ts for Celebs in the New Year!

2013 is only moments away and this means, it’s a good time to start afresh. For our Bollywood stars, this means they get to put the past behind them—the flop films, controversies and any other pieces of the year they’d prefer to forget. But there are some of our favorite Bollywood actors who need some help in making these resolutions. And who better but us to help them!

Bipasha Basu
It’s a real easy one for Bipasha Basu. All she really needs to do is fine a man who will marry her and her problems with be solved. And while she’s at it, can she please sign a film in which we do not need to see all of her body? I would like to see a fully clad Bipasha for a change.

Shah Rukh Khan
Shah Rukh Khan should vow to stay away from drinking, cricket, slapping people and lastly, he should run in the opposite direction from Priyanka Chopra.

Saif Ali Khan
Maybe post marriage, Kareena Kapoor can learn to cook. That way, Saif Ali Khan will stay away from hotel restaurants and thus, will not go around hitting other guests.

Rani Mukherjee
Get married and stop acting, Rani. Please spare us with another nonsensical film where we are forced to watch you overact and belly dance. Please.

Priyanka Chopra
Stay away from married men.

Ajay Devgn
Honestly Ajay, all this hoopla you created around Son of Sardar is very unlike you. Please go back to your subtle ungimmicky ways, please. We like you in silent mode.

Shahid Kapoor
If you follow Shahid Kapoor on Twitter, you know that he has serious issues with grammar and spelling. This year, maybe the actor can take some English lessons to help improve his tweets.

Karan Johar
K Jo should just promise he won’t torture us with anymore cheesy films or another season of Koffee with Karan in 2013.

Katrina Kaif
Do not kiss any co-stars in 2013 because she makes kissing looking icky and uncomfortable.

John Abraham
Please solve your issues with Bipasha and give us a break, John. We’re tired of listening to the stories and gossip.

~
First published Bollywood Hungama, December 31st, 2012

100,000 Hits and Counting!!!

Thank you for 100,000 hits and the love!

Welcome to 2013, folks! The year got off to a fantabulous start for moi! For starters, I danced my way into the New Year. If my feet could talk, they’d curse me out—yes, that much pain! And then, woke up on the 1st of January to see that my blog, this blog, surpassed 100,000 hits! First wish of the year comes true – pretty awesome I’d say. But this is time for gratitude, I believe. So thank you all very much for repeatedly venturing out to check out, comment, hate, love and share what I rant on about regularly. 100,000 views is a lot of reading for you lot – shukriya. Please keep coming back and continue to show your love (and/or hate) for what I pen about. It keeps me going.

2013 is going to be no different, I assure you! It’s gonna be a year of insane blog posts filled with controversies, opinions, challenges and of course, love. If I offend anyone (besides Karan Johar), I apologize in advance. And as usual, you are free to call me out and add a comment – I approve all comments irrespective of the name calling and foul language you may throw my way. So comment away then!

And before I sign off, here’s wishing you and yours a great New Year filled with all great things in abundance.

In the meantime, watch this space!

2013....Here We Come!

In less than 24 hours, I’ll be dancing my way into a New Year surrounded by some of my most favorite people. And along with these people, I too will be praying for new fortune, opportunities and immense joy—or so we hope. Normally, I sit back and reflect on the year that was. But this year, I think I’m going to forgo that tradition. It’s been a year of ups and downs along with many many changes. If there was any life altering year for me, 2012 was that year. However, along with the lessons, which I hope I’ve learned, there were many amazing fun moments. It’s strange how much you can change over a period of 365 days. The girl I was last in 2011 is hardly the woman I am today. Along the way, I made new friends, had some pretty insane experiences and a big move which I’m still contemplating. But because I believe that the universe is constantly looking out for me along with the big guy up there and my guardian angel, I am sure 2013 will bring me much more in abundance.

It is also at this time that I would like to take the time out to apologize to anyone I may have hurt intentionally or otherwise. A new year means a brand new slate—I'd like mnew to keep mine as clean as possible in 2013.

So party hard this New Years Eve and bring in the New Year with a bang! As they say, out with the old, and in with the new!

Happy New Year!

The Worst of Bollywood in 2012!

We’re all about celebrating the best in Bollywood. But the best is so overrated. We really don’t pay enough attention to what didn’t work, what failed, flopped and the worst of the year. This year, we want to take a few minutes to give thanks to the people who helped us realize the best from the worst. Thank you for taking the effort to create….disaster!

Worst Hair
What the otherwise pretty Tanushree Dutta was thinking when she chopped her long tresses for this rather obscure cut, is beyond anyone. Her reasons are personal and spiritual but for an actress who is known for being quite fashionable, this was one big major fashion faux pas on her part. Here’s hoping she goes back to a more stylish one that isn’t so weird.

Worst Comeback
Sorry Karisma Kapoor, but your straight face and non expressive acting really didn’t cut in your comeback film Dangerous Ishq. There was nothing dangerous about the film except the wretchedly boring story and your impact-less acting. For a powerhouse actress who in the past, has jutted out some of the most fiery and top notch performances in the industry, what a letdown.

Worst Lyrics of the Year
In an equal two-way tie, it’s Po-Po-Po from Son of Sardar and Ishq Wala Love from Student of the Year that take the cake for the worst lyrics of 2012. If you actually sit to listen to the both of them, you may want to shoot the lyricists for writing such horrendous lyrics. What on earth ‘po-po-po’ means, is beyond a normal persons intellectual understanding. But the bigger question is, what other means of love are there besides ‘ishq wala love’? It’s like saying water wala ice! Note to lyricists: we are intelligent beings. Please do not insult our intelligence.

Most Irritating Song of the Year
Son of Sardar’s title song has to be not only the most irritating song of the year, but of the decade even. The song refuses to make any sense, is choreographed horrendously and cannot seem to leave your head once you hear it!

Worst Hollywood Rip Off of the Year
It’s bad enough that we seem to lack enough inspiration in India that, we need to look west for remakes and rip offs, but the fact that we make them so damn badly really is disturbing. This year we were given Players, The Italian Job remake, starring all the worst actors in India. And while you make have expected it to be watchable, it was just the opposite. Boring, useless and heavily infused with bad performances, Players makes The Italian Job look like it should have been nominated for an Oscar!

Worst Jodi of the Year
We can barely manage Bipasha Basu on her own and then you go and pair her up with R. Madhavan. Mayhem! In Jodi Breakers, the duo came together for the first time as people who are looking to break up couples. In reality, the only jodi that needed to be broken was theirs. Lack of chemistry, an overweight Maddy and a-sexy-try-hard Bipasha who really needs to let it go already makes their jodi one of the worst in the history of mankind.

Dumbest Controversy of 2012
Aside from all the Shah Rukh Khan hoopla that occurred this year, it was the Aishwarya Rai Bachchan’s post pregnancy weight gain drama that somehow caught the eye of the paparazzi only to be blown extremely out of proportion. They speculated, mocked, poked fun and called her all sorts of names. Clearly, the media had nothing else of importance to discuss.

Worst Item Number
Congratulations Kareena Kapoor! You win the award for the worst item number this year vis-à-vis Dil Mera Muft from Agent Vinod. So here’s the deal. She’s hot and a fabulous actress but Bebo is hardly the best dancer in the industry. And then you put her in a mujhra number? It spells disaster from the get-go. In an attempt to appear ‘different’, Bebo comes out looking rather silly and totally ruins the mujhra mood.

Worst Sequel
The deal with sequels is simple: don’t make them. While her television serials may go on for years, Ekta Kapoor needs to understand that films are a totally different ball game. When Kya Super Kool Hai Hum released, we knew it was going to be a total leave-your-brains-at-home film. But what we didn’t realize was the extent of nonsense that was going to be thrown our way. A sequel which makes the original look bad; that is Kya Super Kool Hai Hum.

Worst Onscreen Kiss
Why Katrina Kaif needed to kiss Shah Rukh Khan so many damn times in Jab Tak Hai Jaan, no one knows. But at least make the kiss somewhat believable! SRK has proven that he may be able to romance any actress onscreen, but the man cannot kiss. Let’s leave the smooching to Emraan Hashmi, please.

Worst Actress
Dear Farah Khan, you are not an actress. Shirin Farad Ki Nikhal Padi is enough evidence. You are barely a director. Please stick to choreography.

Worst Actor
For an actor that can really wow you with his performances, Ajay Devgn really failed with Son of Sardar. He failed to make us laugh, make us garner any interest in the film and failed to entertain. In what looked like a spoofy piece of acting, Ajay fell flat on his face with SoS. Definitely a performance he’d like to forget.

Worst Film
Shirish Kunder found himself in quite a tight spot with Joker. For starters, he believed he had a hit on his hands and thus, went on to make fun of Ra.One only to get slapped by SRK. Then Akshay Kumar decided to stay away from the sci-fi flick and when it hit cinemas, the only people who saw the film was most likely aliens who sat in their invisible form. A flop on all accounts and by far one of the silliest films to be made in Bollywood, Joker wins top prize at this ‘Award Function’.

~
First published Bollywood Hungama, December 28th, 2012

Hottest Bods of 2012!

To call 2012 a hot year would be an understatement. There were a number of shirtless actors and navel showing actresses that dared to bare and show. It was some of the youngins’ who made sure they strut their stuff and how, while some of the more veteran actors were more than thrilled to reshow their toned bodies to their fans all over again. Here’s a quick look at the bodies of the year.

Paoli Dam
A new face to the industry, Paoli Dam, came and showed the world exactly what they wanted to see. In her debut film, Hate Story, she played a girl out for revenge and used her body to that effect. Audiences were treated to much more than they expected as the dusky beauty showed off her toned silky body. Her bold enactment had industrywalas and moviegoers shocked but asking for more!

Varun Dhawan
In Student of the Year, Varun Dhawan walked around shirtless quite a bit. And no one was complaining. Six pack intact, he quickly became one of the newbies that made the girls swoon and how. After months of working out, the actor displayed his body in all its glory. Setting high standards for him and his contemporaries, Varun is out to take on the industry, bare-chested.

Deepika Padukone
Whether it was in her number of magazine covers or as Veronica in Cocktail, she Deepika Padukone screamed hot bods in 2012. While everyone knows the actress works hard to keep her body as hot as it is, she believes it oozes out of her personality. That said, D-Pad continues to hold the title for yet another year as one of the hottest actresses in the industry.

Siddharth Malhotra
Joining his buddy, Varun, is Siddharth Malhotra. The slightly taller actor matched up to his co-stars hot bod and how. While the ladies couldn’t choose between which lad they preferred shirtless, especially since Siddharth too walked around on set amidst a shirt. Toned and tempting, Siddharth puts up great competition for many a fellow actors.

Sunny Leone
To leave out the hottest thing to hit Indian soil and theaters in a while, would be blasphemy. Sunny Leone happened to hit cinemas and show everything she possibly could vis-à-vis Jism 2. Add to that some sexy steamy scenes displaying her backless, topless and in the shower, and Sunny became one of 2012’s sexiest actresses.

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First published Bollywood Hungama, December 27th, 2012

Hottest Couples of 2012!

To be brutally honest, there wasn’t too much heat this year vis-à-vis onscreen couples in Bollywood. Actually, it was quite a thanda year with very few sizzling duos heating up the screens. That said, we actually managed to find a few couples that created somewhat of steam with their pairing and even created some dhamaal. Some you’ve seen before and others are brand new to the arena but that hasn’t stopped any of them from producing performances that were scorching high in temperatures.

Ayushmann Khuranna and Yami Gautam
His deep dimples and her striking smile made the ladies and men, respectively, go absolutely bonkers. But together, Ayushmann and Yummy Gautam, as she now fondly called by her male fans, did not fail to translate their chemistry onscreen. Not only were there a number of cozy scenes but a few kissing scenes which the couple happily indulged in via their debut film, Vicky Donor. Between the both of them, they managed heat up screens quite intensely. And yes, you may see them again in an upcoming film soon.

Arjun Kapoor and Parineeti Chopra
Arjun Kapoor very quickly became the newest star son and heart throb of the nation. His rugged personality matched with a cute grin charmed the ladies and co-star Parineeti Chopra too. This was evident in their onscreen performance as the couple that couldn’t be in Ishaqzaade. Whether it was the sexual tension that generated in the earlier part of the film or the love making scene later on, they were convincing enough for rumors to circulate and cause the media to question if there was some ishq happening between the duo in real-life.

Saif Ali Khan and Deepika Padukone and Diana Penty
Fine, so this isn’t a couple but it really doesn’t matter in the case of the Saif Ali Khan, Deepika Padukone and Diana Penty in Cocktail. Between the three of them, the actors all played pass the parcel as they swapped friends and girlfriends too. The Saif-Deepika chemistry is a no brainer but the Saif-Diana angle had audiences asking for more. And for those of you who are wondering about the Deepika-Diana angle, well sorry to burst your bubble but Bollywood doesn’t swing that way…just yet, at least.

Salman Khan and Katrina Kaif
This is the perhaps the first time we actually witnessed a real sense of affection between Salman Khan and any actress. Naturally, when his co-star turns out to be Katrina Kaif, you aren’t half as surprised anymore. That said, in Ek Tha Tiger, the chemistry wasn’t just loving but sexy in a number of ways. In fact, critics claim this is one of the major reasons as to why Ek Tha Tiger worked. And while we may know of their off screen relationship status, for now we’ll take them creating fireworks on screen any day!

Randeep Hooda and Sunny Leone
You naturally expect scorching rising extra hot temperatures when Sunny Leone is around. What use would it be otherwise to cast an actress from ‘adult films’ in a Bollywood film? But when you add the über sexy Randeep Hooda to the equation, then the heat seems to multiply. In Jism 2, it was the palpable bold scenes between the two which had moviegoers flooding into cinemas. Whether it was the uncountable kisses or backless sequences which included a massage or two, Randeep and Sunny worked it.

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First published Bollywood Hungama, December 22nd, 2012

Yummy Mummies of 2012!

We hardly associate mummy-hood with our Bollywood heroines. But believe it or not, some of the hottest ladies in the industry have gone ahead to become mothers this year. And while you may think this is the end of the road for them, they are here to tell you otherwise. It is actually via these actresses that young moms can now draw inspiration. Not only did they look uber hot while they donned their baby bumps but even after, they quickly shed the extra pounds ready to rock and roll looking yummier than ever.

Lara Dutta
She may be an ex-Miss Universe and lived up to her stylish ways when Lara Dutta was deemed the most chicly dressed mums-to-be pre-delivery. In fact, pregnancy hardly stopped her from walking down the ramp at a number of fashion shows. She was more than happy to happily display her bump in full tashan. However, after giving birth to baby Saira, Lara was seen happily taking to yoga to shed those baby pounds slowly but carefully. And while the rest of the world was busy yapping about Aishwarya Rai Bachchan’s plump ways, it was Lara who stood up to advocate for her.

Celina Jaitley
C.J., as she is fondly called, gave birth to not one but twin bouncy baby boys, Winston and Viraaj, this year. And you’d hardly believe Celina put on any weight during her pregnancy. Proving to be one of the most celebrated moms this year she was rather quickly seen donning a bikini only a few months after her delivery. With immense credit to her intense workout regime and the inspiration of being a part of the entertainment world, Jaitley is now a mother of two but you wouldn’t believe it for a minute!

Shilpa Shetty
Shilpa Shetty is easily the slimmest, fittest actress in the industry today. So as we watched her grow during her pregnancy, it hardly shocked us when she was caught out and about looking fit and fine only two months later. She of course, took to old fashioned ways of losing her baby fat including massages, methi ladoos and the works while she nursed her baby Viaan. While she too wasn’t too keen on hitting the gym too quickly and insisted on enjoying motherhood, it was only a matter of time before she went back to her yoga ways only to lose dollops of weight.

Twinkle Khanna
How Twinkle Khanna went from baby-big to so slim in such a quick period of time, no one will ever really know but she did it after giving birth to baby Nitara. After sporting a rather big baby bump during her pregnancy, Akshay Kumar’s wife was spotted at the Jab Tak Hai Jaan premiere in a strapless sari looking every bit the diva. In the past, Twinkle has spoken heaps about keeping fit via a healthy lifestyle and lots of yoga. And because she barely speaks to the media, this mummy’s yummy ways are a secret.

Amrita Arora
Amu had no clue she was pregnant until two months into her pregnancy. And it was rather rapidly that Amrita’s belly grew. But that didn’t stop her from attending a number of social dos around the city. Baby bump in tow, she took to her fashionable ways and worked the social circuit as she would have pre-pregnancy. After delivering baby boy number two named Riyaan, she is apparently working rigorously to shed those extra pounds.

With these ladies setting the stage for moms in 2012, you can be sure that the mommy’s of 2013 will not only look to them to draw inspiration, but to compete against too. Till then, it’s cheers to these Bollywood babies and their yummy mummys!

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First published Bollywood Hungama, December 20th, 2012

All Garam, No Sharam: Back with a Bang in 2012!

For the first installment of the All Garam, No Sharam Awards of 2012, you are treated to a nonstop back-fest. Like I always say, a sexy back, is just something else. It tells the world, ‘I’m strong, confident and of course, incredibly sexy.’ And because it happens to be one of the most underrated parts of the female body, you know I had to pay extra attention to it. Irrespective of the season or reason, a back can be exposed and displayed. Our Bollywood ladies know this only too well. Check out some of the best backs that have been paraded this year.

5. Chitrangada Singh
This is Chitrangada Singh’s first time on the backless chart. The dusky beauty has every reason to be on the list with her back expose at the Filmfare Awards this year. She is hardly one to back down from showing some skin and in her solid chalky dress which she rocked, all she had to do was turn around to make her sexy quotient known.

4. Bipasha Basu
A backless countdown is incomplete without Bipasha Basu. While the actress has hit a somewhat slump vis-à-vis her career, she refuses to back down from being one of the fittest and sexiest actresses in the industry. At Karan Johar’s big birthday do, she turned up in a black backless number which caused the shutterbugs to click, click, click. Second time around, she posed in a white graceful serene dress for Filmfare exhibiting her toned perfect back. Sexy and how!

3. Kareena Kapoor
Bebo darling may be a married woman now but she isn’t about to ditch her glamorous avatar for anything or anyone. Post her wedding, she was clicked in a newlywed dulhan inspired red sari. And just when you thought she’d gone the sati savitri way, she turned around to show off her backless choli. But this is how she is, surprising you when you least expect it. I want to add that nothing screams sexy like a woman in a backless desi outfit.

2. Malaika Arora Khan
She is by far, the yummiest mummy in town and this is her USP as far as she is concerned. So when you see Malaika Arora Khan showing up backless, it shouldn’t really surprise you. But it never fails to sit and gape at how she finds innovative ways to pose and flaunt her sexy body—back included. Check her out in this backless romper which puts her back and a whole bunch of other things on show.

1. Deepika Padukone
My favorite fashionista Deepika Padukone will more than likely make (and top) most of the lists at the All Garam, No Sharam 2012 Awards. And why not? She knows exactly how to show off every part of her ultra toned body which she works super hard for. D-Pad in a backless low (how low!) dress at the Filmfare Awards had tongues wagging while she calmly strut her stuff down the red carpet. If anyone knows how to bring sexy back, it definitely is Miss Padukone.

Alright, that’s it then, the backs of 2012. While you sit and ogle, gain inspiration or simply admire these ladies and their backless moments, I’ll be right back.

Bollywood Celebrity Weddings of 2012

It was the year of bands, baajas and many baraats in Bollywood. Strangely enough, it was a number of single leading ladies that we lost this year to men within the industry or closely associated to Bollywood, at least. It turned out to be a busy year for fashion designers and wedding planners who were given the task of planning big fat Bollywood weddings of some of the most popular couples in town. This year, the stars went out to shine as they embarked on holy matrimony. With so many shaadis and even more details, it only makes sense to count down the top weddings of the year. Are you ready to be shaadi-fied?

Ritesh and Genelia
The year kicked off with the wedding of secret lovebirds Genelia D’Souza and Ritesh Deshmukh. After years of speculation and nonstop questions including: are they together? Is he gay? Is he with Jacqueline Fernandez? Genelia and Ritiesh shut the mouths of gossip-mongers with a rather lengthy wedding which included a Maharashtrian wedding followed by a Church wedding and finally, a grand reception where most of Bollywood congregated to wish the couple. The sangeet was headed by none other than Karan Johar who took to the mic and played master of chaperone while a number of the couple’s starry friends took to the stage. The likes of the Bachchans, Kapoors and Khans attended the big reception before the duo took off to an undisclosed honeymoon destination.

Wedding Trivia: The wedding was planned way in advance with the couple asking their friends and family to keep it hush-hush.

Esha and Bharat Esha Deol’s career may have unfortunately not kicked into third gear but that didn’t stop her from going all out for her wedding with Mumbai diamond merchant, Bharat Takhtani. According to sources, the entire wedding was orchestrated by Hema Malini who insisted on a grand, yet simple wedding. A sangeet followed by an ISKON wedding and a biggie reception completed Esha’s wedding. The sangeet saw a dedicated performance by Mom, Hema to her daughter as she danced to Dream Girl. The dulhan herself shook her foot to a couple of her own numbers. Bollywood came out in full force to bless Esha and Bharat while Daddy dearest couldn’t contain his happiness as he hosted the reception.

Wedding Trivia: While half-brothers Sunny and Bobby Deol remained unseen throughout the wedding, it was Abhay who took on all brotherly duties.

Kareena and Saif
Kareena Kapoor and Saif Ali Khan’s private but heavily attended wedding was easily the wedding of the year. After five years of courtship, Saifeena finally joined together in holy matrimony drawing extreme media attention and hoard of well-wishers. While it was his second marriage, he chose to keep it quite extravagant. There was a hush-hush sangeet, a mehndi, the registered marriage at the Khan household, followed by a reception in Mumbai and then, a Walima in New Delhi. The sangeet saw the Kapoor kandaan come out to put on a complete show for the couple with Karisma Kapoor taking center stage. Needless to say, pretty much all of Bollywood was accounted for at the luxurious reception after which the couple went on what is being called their ‘25th’ honeymoon.

Wedding Trivia: Saif’s children were seen at the wedding taking pictures with the newlyweds and enjoying every minute of the wedding. 

Vidya and Siddharth
The year ended with the wedding of Vidya Balan and Siddharth Roy Kapur. But it was hardly a shaadi which had the shutterbugs going frantic. In fact, it was easily the most downplayed wedding of the year. With the exception of Rekha, no other Bollywood celebrity was invited to the extremely secretive wedding which only included family and close friends. A quiet mehndi and wedding ceremony was in order for the couple and that pretty much concluded the wedding. The couple will however, distribute sweets post their wedding to the industry.

Wedding Trivia: Close friends including Milan Luthria and Ekta Kapoor too, are said to have been completely clueless about the wedding.

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First published Bollywood Hungama, December 19th, 2012