Movies Picks for 2013

My poor blog has been neglected since I’ve joined the world of Tatler. And I always promised I would never forget my roots, i.e. this very portal. So my New Year resolution is to blog a lot more frequently. In the meantime, I’ve been swamped with messages regarding my movie picks for 2013. So I’ve decided to end the year with my hits for the year. It was an interesting year for Hindi cinema. The films that made waves were ones that were expected to fail and vice versa. There were sequels, lots of Khan action and a few surprises.

Special 26 – May not be as great as Neeraj Pandey’s A Wednesday but definitely a smart and quick watch

ABCD – Any Body Can Dance – Prabhudeva steals the show and the dance routines are incredible

Jolly LLB – Undoubtedly one of the most underrated films of the year, which tells the story of a small town lawyer and his most important case

Aashiqui 2 – The most profitable film of the year also wins my vote for album of the year with not a single English word used in any of the
songs – win!

Raanjhanaa – Must watch for Dhanush and his amazing dance in the title song!

Lootera – Look, I’m not a Ranveer Singh fan, but Vikramaditya Motwane never fails to impress with his unique storylines and direction 

Madras Café – Surprise, surprise, John Abraham can act. Great film which tells an interesting story

The Lunchbox – Why this Irrfan Khan film didn’t make the Oscar cut, I’ll never know but its simple plot of a housewife and food is beautifully executed 

Kai Po Che! – I am the first to admit the book was better but nevertheless, Kai Po Che deserves a mention

Vishwaroop – I was forced to watch this film (thanks, Dad) but walked away wowed by the quick and unexpected storyline. Kamal Hassan never fails to impress

 

Bhaag Milkha Bhaag – The story of a man who never won gold but also never gave up. Farhan Akhtar at his best

Yeh Jawani Hai Deewani – The feel good film of the year has a weak plot but with colours, great music, fun dances and a good-looking cast, you walk away feeling young and giddy

FYI, Dhoom 3 hasn’t been watched yet but I have a feeling, it won’t make the cut. Neither did Chennai Express or Krrish 3. Didn’t work for me.

See you at the movies next year! 

How to be an ABCD

Last year, I was asked to pen a piece for an online Indo-American site (which will remain nameless) about cricket. The editor said, “Keep it simple. Oh, and Indo-Chic.” I remember having a, “Hayeen?” moment. WTF is “Indo-Chic?” I thought. She said, “American Indians don’t consider India their home. They are Americans who happen to be Indian.” If you know me well, you know that at that moment, over a hundred-million gaalis (bad horrid obscene ones) went through my head. And then I thought to myself, “Maybe it’s not them…maybe, it’s me.” I was too Desi, no? I needed to fit in. But how on earth does one become an ABCD? This is how.

Shorten your name. Krishna becomes Krish, Samarpreet becomes Sam.

Choose between adapting to either White people or Black people lingo making you either ‘white-washed’ or ‘ghetto’.

Secretly keep only one or two Hindi/Punjabi tracks on your iPod.

Date Americans, Italians, Blacks and Mexicans before you finally allow Mama to choose you a life partner.

Meet at your local place of worship every Sunday so you can ogle at other Desi hotties and/or gossip about the local ‘slut’.

Dance (read: grind and gyrate) on Friday nights out at clubs with complete strangers but stand in a corner at local Garbas.

Wear strapless/sleeveless/über short skirts in college but when you come home, wear jeans, a tee and look exhausted.

Learn to make the roundest roti ever but you must scream ‘ew’ and ‘yuck’ when you smell tadka.

You can only like one of two Bollywood actors: Shah Rukh Khan or Salman Khan.

Only post videos of Justin Bieber. Make sure you poke fun of friends who post Bollywood videos.

Make videos called, ‘How to be Brown.’

Your room’s wall must be plastered with at least one Eminem poster.

Christmas/Thanksgiving > Diwali.

The answer to, ‘Have you been to India?’ is always, ‘Yes. Once.’

Make a trip to India to, ‘Find your roots.’

Laugh at and hate FOBs.

Use the acronym MLID for everything. 

Relate to every Russell Peters joke.

You must think cricket is a ‘poor man’s baseball’.

Make sure you’re shocked when you see a steamy scene in a Hindi film even though you’ve seen hotter bolder American films.

Wear a sari to at least one of your proms so your friends can ogle over how exotic you are but make a fuss about wearing a salwar suit on Sunday to the temple/gurudwara.

You must own one tube of Fair N Lovely while your non-Indian friends admire your natural 'tan'. 

‘Jai Ho’ is your understanding of the Indian National Anthem.

Brag about how you’re not scared of your parents but fear them like no other in reality.

Never eat with your hands.

Karan Johar films. Enough said.


Not so hard to become one in the end, eh? As for me…yeah, I pass. It's far too cumbersome to become one of them. I think I’ll stick to being myself: fobby, deeply rooted and far too Desi for the average person.