Short and Quick Movie Review: Table No. 21

* Okay, the requests have been nonstop so I had to restart. Yes, movie reviews are back more so because my Dad was upset I stopped. But as usual, my reviews are short and quick. Who has time for long reviews anyway?

 

Table No. 21 follows Vivaan (Rajeev Khandelwal) and Siya (Tena Desai), a couple on a vacation which they win via a contest. As they are wined and dined on the island of Fiji, they become a part of a dangerous reality show game. Soon they realize that all is not what it seems. As their relationship and trust for one another is tested, they soon unravel the reason as to why they were called on as contestants in the first place.

While you initially gravitate towards the film because of its unusual plot, it soon becomes slightly cumbersome and repetitive. However, that said, the film touches on a number of themes which are prevalent to today’s times including modern day relationships, modern technology and even, ragging. What works for the film is the fact that it doesn’t rely on a tried and tested formula which most thrillers use. And while you are curious to understand why it is the couple is being tested, the climax comes as a huge shock but is also somewhat confusing too.

As a director, Aditya Datt sticks to a genre he knows well—one of complicated relationships and hidden pasts. He tackles the film and its plot well but more attention needed to be given to the idea of ragging especially since it seemed to be the moral of the story. The film thrives on its performances. Yet again the much underrated Rajeev Khandelwal comes out scoring top notch with Table No. 21. He proves time and time again that he can handle films and scripts that are different yet enticing. We really do need to see more of him. Paresh Rawal is an actor who can handle almost any film and thus, Table No. 21 is as easy as it gets for him. New girl Tena Desai creates quite an impact in her debut film. She surprises with her mature and subdued but effective performance.

Table No. 21 as a film does well to entertain and keep you glued to the screen. While there are a number of gaping holes, it comes at a time where brainless comedies are no longer working. Audiences are more accepting of intellectual films. Table No. 21 is just that—smart and witty. Definitely a must watch.

Movie of the Year: OMG Oh My God!

My faith in God is unshakable. I went through my ‘nastik’ phase where I too questioned his existence, his motives and pointed out nonstop issues I had with being a Hindu. And then one day, I stopped. I saw how God took over my life and fixed it. But that doesn’t mean I still don’t debate certain aspects of Hinduism. When I get iffy answers such as, “This is just how things are done,” I find myself rolling my eyes. Honestly, a 'I don't know' would suffice.

And this is exactly why OMG Oh My God! starring Akshay Kumar and Paresh Rawal, is my film of the year. We’re introduced to the atheist Kanji bhai (Paresh Rawal) who ironically sells Hindu God idols for a living. His entire living is based on falsely cooking up stories to sell his goods. One day, after he is cursed by a local priest after which his store, the only one that too, is destroyed by an earthquake. When his insurance claims they cannot cover any damages as his policy doesn’t cover “acts of God”, Kanji bhai decides he needs to sue God. Naturally, he is faced by extreme opposition until he finds a friend in one Krishna Vasudev Yadav (Akshay Kumar) who is actually Lord Krishna in human form. It is through Krishna, that he finds the solution to his problem and eventually wins his case.

I’m not going to get into the performances because Paresh Rawal is incredible as the overly atheistic Kanji bhai. He gets it spot on without being over the top or overacting too. Akshay Kumar only appears midway but never has Lord Krishna been so damn cool. But it’s the message that the film gives that makes you want to applaud the writer and director, Umesh Shukla. The film isn’t anti Hinduism nor is it asking you to turn around and become a devout Hindu too. Not at all. The film is actually asking you to question blind traditions that we often deem as ‘must do rituals’. Milk over a Shivling or milk to a poor child? Additionally, we’re reminded by Lord Krishna that a) the almighty loves devotion to him, not material goods, and b) that we’ve become far too God Fearing while we should be God Loving. And for a minute if you believe that God doesn’t love his unbelievers, you couldn’t be any more wrong.

It’s rather rare for cine-goers to find a film that not only entertains, manages to fit into the comedy mold and yet holds a sound message. At many points during the film, you find yourself questioning your own beliefs. I’m a Shiv bhakt so my Monday mornings includes worshiping my Shivling. I questioned how much milk all over the world was being poured over Shivlings every Monday. I use an entire quart. There are millions of Shiv followers around the world. Can you just imagine how much milk is being ‘wasted’? Perhaps we’d be more blessed if we donated that milk to hungry children instead.

But my favorite scene has to be the climax. Krishna, who has revealed himself to Kanji as the almighty, leaving behind his peacock key chain which Kanji picks up and naturally, decides to keep just as any of us would. It is then that the Lord speaks and tells him not to stop being an atheist and to get rid of the memento which he knows Kanji would make into a taveez and wear around his neck. Everything I ever believed in stood still right there. Here I am wearing black threads for protection from a special Hanuman temple in Mumbai which happens to hold a gold Om from my Mother, thinking this is how I’ll stay close to God when in actuality, God is with me irrespective. It doesn't mean I ripped off my black thread from my neck and threw it to the ground. No. As filmy as I am, that definitely did not happen. It was with love and faith that my parents made me wear my Om and black thread. That sentiment is too strong to disrespect.

No, it’s not that I’m an atheist now. Not at all. I still have full faith in the almighty. But I definitely think I am a lot more sensible in practicing religion now. I don’t think Lord Shiva will mind too much if I donate the milk and use water on Mondays.

Any film which causes you to think while it entertains has to be a winner. OMG Oh My God! shakes you and wakes you! A complete winner and my pick for 2012.

100 Word Review: Blood Money

Blood Money is basically India’s answer to Blood Diamond. A shoddy answer at that. Kunal Khemu plays a diamond expert who comes to South Africa with his wife (Amrita Puri) and finds himself in a rather sticky situation. Somewhere before the intermission, the film loses its path and you’re left scratching your head. Khemu looks like the kid who brings cylinders to your home on a cycle; Puri is lost. As a film, Blood Money has no substance nor does it have a pull factor. But the real question is: What is wrong with Soha Ali Khan? Kunal Khemu? Really?

Pura Review: Agent Vinod

A really hot Saif Ali Khan and an even hotter Kareena Kapoor has to equal scorching heat, no? Negative.Nyet. No. Nahin. Agent Vinod was one of the films that I was really looking forward to in 2012. "What’s not to like?" I thought. Action, romance, drama and an extremely fit Saifu, this could easily be the ‘Saif Ali Khan’ film we’ve all been waiting for. Yeah, right.

Agent Vinod (Saif Ali Khan) is your usual RAW agent who is on a mission as the film begins. He is quickly told to handle a rather dire situation after his partner (Ravi Kissen) is killed. The mission takes him all around the world before he finally figures out the complicated situation which may result in nuclear war. In between, he meets Iram (Kareena Kapoor), who assists him and naturally, the duo fall in love. He saves the day and all is well on planet earth. Oh, and there is a hint of a sequel. Yeap.

Agent Vinod is easily the worst 3 hours, yes 3 hours, I’ve spent in 2012. In fact, I demand my money back. But more than a waste of time, Agent Vinod is disappointing. As a Saif Ali Khan and Kareena Kapoor fan, it hurts to be given a film that does nothing for you. If Agent Vinod was sex, it would be the worst sex ever. It’s missionary, unorgasmic and definitely lacked any sense of heat. Boring. The first half of the film confuzzles you and just when you think you’ve got the gist of it, it bamboozles you into complete confusion. You’re apparently “treated” to spectacular visions of different sights around the world but if you ask me, they’re just showing off. It doesn’t add any value to the film! In fact, the script could have been adjusted and shot in India completely. The length of the film is one of the biggest drawbacks. There were umpteen moments when I believed the end was near. But nope. Anti climaxes again, and again. Director Sriram Raghavan disappoints and how with AV. It’s hard to believe that this is the same director who gave us the uber suave Johnny Gadaar gives us this. Oh, and another bone I have to pick is how badly and ineffectively the awesome music of the film was used.

The only real reason to watch Agent Vinod is for Saif Ali Khan. He’s slick, suave and super sexy. However, not even he can save the film from its lackluster, substance absent and overloaded on style, script. Kareena Kapoor is plain average. Her role is limited and lacks any sense of matter. The smaller roles played by the likes of Ram Kapoor (super!), Prem Chopra (awesome) and even Rajat Kapoor all manage to aid the film as well as they can.

Agent Vinod is a snooze fest. Sadly, it doesn’t seem to work in any department like it seemed to promise in the promos. Instead, you’re left with a headache and depending on where you are in the world, a few dollars short in your wallet. Maybe we just can’t get James Bondesque film right in Bollywood. And if that is the case, then spare us Bollywood. Give us some dancing around the tree instead but just do it right. Pliss.

100 Word Review: Kahaani

The premise of Kahaani: a pregnant wife in search of her husband. However, there is more than meets the eye as her motive eventually shocks authorities. Sujoy Ghosh pulls out a winner from his director’s cap with this thriller. You are immediately taken in by the story and Kolkata. Vidya Balan is top notch. She is proving to be an actress you cannot and should not mess with. The rest of the cast all support aptly. The story engrosses you with only one minor hichki vis-à-vis the hacking sequence which is slightly pretentious. That said, Kahaani tells a fabulous tale.

Not Just Another SRK Bashing Fest....

Screw the open letters; that is so last month. This is an outright SRK bashing. I’m really not a fan of King Khan and I have no qualms in saying it. In fact, the only reason I watch his films is because I am a sadist; I look for reasons to hate on Shah Rukh Khan. I can count the number of SRK films I liked—Swades, Chak De! India and fine, I’ll even grant him Veer Zaara. And I’m not talking about old school SRK; he died ages ago. We’ll never see the Raj in DDLJ ever again so don’t count on it. But why does he choose to be such a bloody gaada? Like seriously, why? The last time I was this pissed off at SRK was after I watched one disaster of a film better known as Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi. I literally sat in complete shock when I saw SRK switch between being foolish as part the nerdy light dude and even more foolish as the dancing garagewallah

And now, after I watch Ra.One, over a week late, I feel a sense of déjà vu falling over me. But before I go off about the film, here's what the film's blurb reads when you look it up:


A father trying hard to 'fit-in' in his son's badass world. A son trying hard to 'dude-up' his dad from 'aiiiyyyo' to 'Yo!' And a mother lost in translation between her husband's 'ingeva' and her son's 'inn'it!' While Shekhar was trying every trick in the book to woo his son, get 'dude-ified' and 'up his coolness quotient' his son had given up on him. 

Can I barf now? All of a sudden, I am that angry girl all over again who cannot fathom what the frak Ra.One was about. But why am I so surprised? I knew he’d kill it with Ra.One. I knew it would be a piece of crap. I knew I’d be sitting and cursing myself out because as usual SRK would make something over the top that would as usual, not make sense.

See, I have no issues with experimental cinema. In fact, I applaud it. Variety is the spice of life and all that jazz, but for heaven’s sake, please make sense. Watching Ra.One proved to be the most daunting, boring, infuriating experiences of 2011. However, I’m going to pull an SRK on you and do something that is expected but not really. See, you expect me to hate on SRK and Ra.One. But since a certain ‘someone’ (you know who you are) insists that I should not be a SRK hater; here are all the reasons to watch Ra.One.

Bebo’s Chammak Challo chiffon sari. She herself is oomph personified but add a sexy red sari to Bebo, and you pretty much have a number one reason to watch Ra.One. Of course, the song too is pretty darn cool, kudos Akon, but really it’s Kareena Kapoor’s latkas and jhatkas that really make you feel like you’ve got your money’s worth. Can’t say the same about your time though.

The kid’s hair. I understand that young boys like the Bieber inspired do. Apparently, it’s in. And the reason you should watch Ra.One is because besides being slightly annoying, the kid in the film is basically India’s answer to Justin Bieber. Well, not sure if he can sing, but he is sporting the look for sure. I, however, couldn’t stop thinking about how badly I wanted to chop his long locks. Alternatively, he could use some gel to work some pretty cool styles. A Mohawk even.

Raj-Ni. When the real king comes on screen, then ain’t no body gonna look at any G.One aka SRK. Even though he was barely on for more than 2.5 seconds, Rajni ruled and rocked.

Dahi-Chowmein. I've never heard of that combination coming together. Very Chandni Chowk to China inspired if I may say so, but this is yet another reason to watch Ra.One. While initially fusing noodles and curd would sound rather unappetizing, I think SRK may actually be onto something here. Worth a try, no?

Arjun in 10. Thank your lucky stars cause all you get of Arjun Rampal is a mere ten minutes.But then again, that is ten solid minutes; painful minutes. And in the climax you are treated to ten Ra.One's, i.e. 10 Arjun Rampals. But fikaar not, it's better than a whole film with Rampal as the main hero. As for all those girls who couldn't stop gushing over how "hot" he looked, I'm sorry but I beg to differ. I'll take a bald Anupam Kher over a taklu Rampal anyday.

The Game Over sign. After the torture, the Game Over sign is an indication that the end is near. Praise the lord.

Tum Bin Effect. And the last reason to watch Ra.One is because you’ll appreciate Anubhav Sinha’s Tum Bin; if you didn’t already. It was a rona dona film, yes. But it’s a better film than Ra.One, I’ll tell you that.

Oh and while we're at it, just a quick piece of FYI. SRK or rather Anubhav Sinha, has no idea what a superhero is. Superman, Batman, Iron Man all had one factor in common: they were regular people. It's only when terror struck that they changed avatars and became their titled superhero. Ra.One was not a real person and thus, he is a Robot. He even displayed robotic tendencies! So how on earth then is this a superhero flick? No, tell me please.

As for SRK, you haven’t seen the end of him or his Ra.One series. From the looks of it, we will be hit with a second part which he will promote bigger and better than his first part; which we’ll watch and yes, I’ll find reasons to watch that one too.

Stars:
Not.Even.One

100 Word Review: Shaitan

A bunch of directionless rich kids find themselves stuck in a dire situation during a wild night out. After running over a couple on a scooter and fleeing, they face demons – shaitans, in various forms. What immediately gravitates you to the film is the cast; each and every one of the youngsters is outstanding. The plot too is captivating and dark of course, such are Anurag Kashyap films. The dialogues are young, funny and well, nasty, but that shouldn’t stop you from watching it. Shaitan is a told in a unique and funky fashion. Watch it for the awesome youngins’!