SRT: Now That The God is Gone....

Person X: “The Indian cricket team sucks! You lot are useless. (Insert team name here) are much better.”
Me: “Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar. Enough said.”
Person X: (silence)

This is probably my nth blog post on the maestro, but as a fan, you can never get enough of his brilliance. And then he goes and retires on you only to crush you. But no one will ever come close to Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar. No one.

I refuse to sit here and speculate as to why he chose to retire from One Day Internationals. I don’t know if it was a personal decision, a board decision or even a decision made under pressure. All I know is that without jersey number 10, the Indian team is incomplete. In the land of cricket, we lose a god; a man who spoke less with his words but more so with his bat. As a young cricket fanatic, the amount of times I’ve stayed up late watching him bat with my mouth open only to fall asleep in school, are countless. But nothing was more important than watching SRT play his master strokes.

To call Tendulkar talented is an understatement; he defines Indian cricket. Yes, he’s has his share of blows – physical and personal, but he’s always jumped right back into the game. It doesn’t matter how big the blows – his father’s sudden demise, tennis elbow injuries and simply being out of form, he proved his critics wrong by getting back in and hitting like the master he is.

Perhaps it is too early for him to retire; many will say so. But it doesn’t matter what we think, believe or claim. The fact of the matter is that we have bid adieu to one of the finest cricketers in the history of the sport. Never again will we witness such beautiful cricket and for that, we must thank him for a treat that lasted over twenty years. While we sit and watch Sachin reruns, reminisce over our favorite SRT moments and tell stories of his brilliance to our children, we also know we will never see anyone quite like him ever again. There will be some who come close but no one will ever match the man to the T.

And while this will definitely not be my last Sachin Tendulkar post, it will be the only one I wrote with teary eyes. SRT, you will, are and will always be India’s number one son. We love, respect and salute you for your contribution to the country, the sport and our lives. The crease will seize to be same. That, I assure you. Alvida Master, Alvida.

Do's and Don'ts for Celebs in the New Year!

2013 is only moments away and this means, it’s a good time to start afresh. For our Bollywood stars, this means they get to put the past behind them—the flop films, controversies and any other pieces of the year they’d prefer to forget. But there are some of our favorite Bollywood actors who need some help in making these resolutions. And who better but us to help them!

Bipasha Basu
It’s a real easy one for Bipasha Basu. All she really needs to do is fine a man who will marry her and her problems with be solved. And while she’s at it, can she please sign a film in which we do not need to see all of her body? I would like to see a fully clad Bipasha for a change.

Shah Rukh Khan
Shah Rukh Khan should vow to stay away from drinking, cricket, slapping people and lastly, he should run in the opposite direction from Priyanka Chopra.

Saif Ali Khan
Maybe post marriage, Kareena Kapoor can learn to cook. That way, Saif Ali Khan will stay away from hotel restaurants and thus, will not go around hitting other guests.

Rani Mukherjee
Get married and stop acting, Rani. Please spare us with another nonsensical film where we are forced to watch you overact and belly dance. Please.

Priyanka Chopra
Stay away from married men.

Ajay Devgn
Honestly Ajay, all this hoopla you created around Son of Sardar is very unlike you. Please go back to your subtle ungimmicky ways, please. We like you in silent mode.

Shahid Kapoor
If you follow Shahid Kapoor on Twitter, you know that he has serious issues with grammar and spelling. This year, maybe the actor can take some English lessons to help improve his tweets.

Karan Johar
K Jo should just promise he won’t torture us with anymore cheesy films or another season of Koffee with Karan in 2013.

Katrina Kaif
Do not kiss any co-stars in 2013 because she makes kissing looking icky and uncomfortable.

John Abraham
Please solve your issues with Bipasha and give us a break, John. We’re tired of listening to the stories and gossip.

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First published Bollywood Hungama, December 31st, 2012

100,000 Hits and Counting!!!

Thank you for 100,000 hits and the love!

Welcome to 2013, folks! The year got off to a fantabulous start for moi! For starters, I danced my way into the New Year. If my feet could talk, they’d curse me out—yes, that much pain! And then, woke up on the 1st of January to see that my blog, this blog, surpassed 100,000 hits! First wish of the year comes true – pretty awesome I’d say. But this is time for gratitude, I believe. So thank you all very much for repeatedly venturing out to check out, comment, hate, love and share what I rant on about regularly. 100,000 views is a lot of reading for you lot – shukriya. Please keep coming back and continue to show your love (and/or hate) for what I pen about. It keeps me going.

2013 is going to be no different, I assure you! It’s gonna be a year of insane blog posts filled with controversies, opinions, challenges and of course, love. If I offend anyone (besides Karan Johar), I apologize in advance. And as usual, you are free to call me out and add a comment – I approve all comments irrespective of the name calling and foul language you may throw my way. So comment away then!

And before I sign off, here’s wishing you and yours a great New Year filled with all great things in abundance.

In the meantime, watch this space!

2013....Here We Come!

In less than 24 hours, I’ll be dancing my way into a New Year surrounded by some of my most favorite people. And along with these people, I too will be praying for new fortune, opportunities and immense joy—or so we hope. Normally, I sit back and reflect on the year that was. But this year, I think I’m going to forgo that tradition. It’s been a year of ups and downs along with many many changes. If there was any life altering year for me, 2012 was that year. However, along with the lessons, which I hope I’ve learned, there were many amazing fun moments. It’s strange how much you can change over a period of 365 days. The girl I was last in 2011 is hardly the woman I am today. Along the way, I made new friends, had some pretty insane experiences and a big move which I’m still contemplating. But because I believe that the universe is constantly looking out for me along with the big guy up there and my guardian angel, I am sure 2013 will bring me much more in abundance.

It is also at this time that I would like to take the time out to apologize to anyone I may have hurt intentionally or otherwise. A new year means a brand new slate—I'd like mnew to keep mine as clean as possible in 2013.

So party hard this New Years Eve and bring in the New Year with a bang! As they say, out with the old, and in with the new!

Happy New Year!

The Worst of Bollywood in 2012!

We’re all about celebrating the best in Bollywood. But the best is so overrated. We really don’t pay enough attention to what didn’t work, what failed, flopped and the worst of the year. This year, we want to take a few minutes to give thanks to the people who helped us realize the best from the worst. Thank you for taking the effort to create….disaster!

Worst Hair
What the otherwise pretty Tanushree Dutta was thinking when she chopped her long tresses for this rather obscure cut, is beyond anyone. Her reasons are personal and spiritual but for an actress who is known for being quite fashionable, this was one big major fashion faux pas on her part. Here’s hoping she goes back to a more stylish one that isn’t so weird.

Worst Comeback
Sorry Karisma Kapoor, but your straight face and non expressive acting really didn’t cut in your comeback film Dangerous Ishq. There was nothing dangerous about the film except the wretchedly boring story and your impact-less acting. For a powerhouse actress who in the past, has jutted out some of the most fiery and top notch performances in the industry, what a letdown.

Worst Lyrics of the Year
In an equal two-way tie, it’s Po-Po-Po from Son of Sardar and Ishq Wala Love from Student of the Year that take the cake for the worst lyrics of 2012. If you actually sit to listen to the both of them, you may want to shoot the lyricists for writing such horrendous lyrics. What on earth ‘po-po-po’ means, is beyond a normal persons intellectual understanding. But the bigger question is, what other means of love are there besides ‘ishq wala love’? It’s like saying water wala ice! Note to lyricists: we are intelligent beings. Please do not insult our intelligence.

Most Irritating Song of the Year
Son of Sardar’s title song has to be not only the most irritating song of the year, but of the decade even. The song refuses to make any sense, is choreographed horrendously and cannot seem to leave your head once you hear it!

Worst Hollywood Rip Off of the Year
It’s bad enough that we seem to lack enough inspiration in India that, we need to look west for remakes and rip offs, but the fact that we make them so damn badly really is disturbing. This year we were given Players, The Italian Job remake, starring all the worst actors in India. And while you make have expected it to be watchable, it was just the opposite. Boring, useless and heavily infused with bad performances, Players makes The Italian Job look like it should have been nominated for an Oscar!

Worst Jodi of the Year
We can barely manage Bipasha Basu on her own and then you go and pair her up with R. Madhavan. Mayhem! In Jodi Breakers, the duo came together for the first time as people who are looking to break up couples. In reality, the only jodi that needed to be broken was theirs. Lack of chemistry, an overweight Maddy and a-sexy-try-hard Bipasha who really needs to let it go already makes their jodi one of the worst in the history of mankind.

Dumbest Controversy of 2012
Aside from all the Shah Rukh Khan hoopla that occurred this year, it was the Aishwarya Rai Bachchan’s post pregnancy weight gain drama that somehow caught the eye of the paparazzi only to be blown extremely out of proportion. They speculated, mocked, poked fun and called her all sorts of names. Clearly, the media had nothing else of importance to discuss.

Worst Item Number
Congratulations Kareena Kapoor! You win the award for the worst item number this year vis-à-vis Dil Mera Muft from Agent Vinod. So here’s the deal. She’s hot and a fabulous actress but Bebo is hardly the best dancer in the industry. And then you put her in a mujhra number? It spells disaster from the get-go. In an attempt to appear ‘different’, Bebo comes out looking rather silly and totally ruins the mujhra mood.

Worst Sequel
The deal with sequels is simple: don’t make them. While her television serials may go on for years, Ekta Kapoor needs to understand that films are a totally different ball game. When Kya Super Kool Hai Hum released, we knew it was going to be a total leave-your-brains-at-home film. But what we didn’t realize was the extent of nonsense that was going to be thrown our way. A sequel which makes the original look bad; that is Kya Super Kool Hai Hum.

Worst Onscreen Kiss
Why Katrina Kaif needed to kiss Shah Rukh Khan so many damn times in Jab Tak Hai Jaan, no one knows. But at least make the kiss somewhat believable! SRK has proven that he may be able to romance any actress onscreen, but the man cannot kiss. Let’s leave the smooching to Emraan Hashmi, please.

Worst Actress
Dear Farah Khan, you are not an actress. Shirin Farad Ki Nikhal Padi is enough evidence. You are barely a director. Please stick to choreography.

Worst Actor
For an actor that can really wow you with his performances, Ajay Devgn really failed with Son of Sardar. He failed to make us laugh, make us garner any interest in the film and failed to entertain. In what looked like a spoofy piece of acting, Ajay fell flat on his face with SoS. Definitely a performance he’d like to forget.

Worst Film
Shirish Kunder found himself in quite a tight spot with Joker. For starters, he believed he had a hit on his hands and thus, went on to make fun of Ra.One only to get slapped by SRK. Then Akshay Kumar decided to stay away from the sci-fi flick and when it hit cinemas, the only people who saw the film was most likely aliens who sat in their invisible form. A flop on all accounts and by far one of the silliest films to be made in Bollywood, Joker wins top prize at this ‘Award Function’.

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First published Bollywood Hungama, December 28th, 2012

Hottest Bods of 2012!

To call 2012 a hot year would be an understatement. There were a number of shirtless actors and navel showing actresses that dared to bare and show. It was some of the youngins’ who made sure they strut their stuff and how, while some of the more veteran actors were more than thrilled to reshow their toned bodies to their fans all over again. Here’s a quick look at the bodies of the year.

Paoli Dam
A new face to the industry, Paoli Dam, came and showed the world exactly what they wanted to see. In her debut film, Hate Story, she played a girl out for revenge and used her body to that effect. Audiences were treated to much more than they expected as the dusky beauty showed off her toned silky body. Her bold enactment had industrywalas and moviegoers shocked but asking for more!

Varun Dhawan
In Student of the Year, Varun Dhawan walked around shirtless quite a bit. And no one was complaining. Six pack intact, he quickly became one of the newbies that made the girls swoon and how. After months of working out, the actor displayed his body in all its glory. Setting high standards for him and his contemporaries, Varun is out to take on the industry, bare-chested.

Deepika Padukone
Whether it was in her number of magazine covers or as Veronica in Cocktail, she Deepika Padukone screamed hot bods in 2012. While everyone knows the actress works hard to keep her body as hot as it is, she believes it oozes out of her personality. That said, D-Pad continues to hold the title for yet another year as one of the hottest actresses in the industry.

Siddharth Malhotra
Joining his buddy, Varun, is Siddharth Malhotra. The slightly taller actor matched up to his co-stars hot bod and how. While the ladies couldn’t choose between which lad they preferred shirtless, especially since Siddharth too walked around on set amidst a shirt. Toned and tempting, Siddharth puts up great competition for many a fellow actors.

Sunny Leone
To leave out the hottest thing to hit Indian soil and theaters in a while, would be blasphemy. Sunny Leone happened to hit cinemas and show everything she possibly could vis-à-vis Jism 2. Add to that some sexy steamy scenes displaying her backless, topless and in the shower, and Sunny became one of 2012’s sexiest actresses.

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First published Bollywood Hungama, December 27th, 2012

Hottest Couples of 2012!

To be brutally honest, there wasn’t too much heat this year vis-à-vis onscreen couples in Bollywood. Actually, it was quite a thanda year with very few sizzling duos heating up the screens. That said, we actually managed to find a few couples that created somewhat of steam with their pairing and even created some dhamaal. Some you’ve seen before and others are brand new to the arena but that hasn’t stopped any of them from producing performances that were scorching high in temperatures.

Ayushmann Khuranna and Yami Gautam
His deep dimples and her striking smile made the ladies and men, respectively, go absolutely bonkers. But together, Ayushmann and Yummy Gautam, as she now fondly called by her male fans, did not fail to translate their chemistry onscreen. Not only were there a number of cozy scenes but a few kissing scenes which the couple happily indulged in via their debut film, Vicky Donor. Between the both of them, they managed heat up screens quite intensely. And yes, you may see them again in an upcoming film soon.

Arjun Kapoor and Parineeti Chopra
Arjun Kapoor very quickly became the newest star son and heart throb of the nation. His rugged personality matched with a cute grin charmed the ladies and co-star Parineeti Chopra too. This was evident in their onscreen performance as the couple that couldn’t be in Ishaqzaade. Whether it was the sexual tension that generated in the earlier part of the film or the love making scene later on, they were convincing enough for rumors to circulate and cause the media to question if there was some ishq happening between the duo in real-life.

Saif Ali Khan and Deepika Padukone and Diana Penty
Fine, so this isn’t a couple but it really doesn’t matter in the case of the Saif Ali Khan, Deepika Padukone and Diana Penty in Cocktail. Between the three of them, the actors all played pass the parcel as they swapped friends and girlfriends too. The Saif-Deepika chemistry is a no brainer but the Saif-Diana angle had audiences asking for more. And for those of you who are wondering about the Deepika-Diana angle, well sorry to burst your bubble but Bollywood doesn’t swing that way…just yet, at least.

Salman Khan and Katrina Kaif
This is the perhaps the first time we actually witnessed a real sense of affection between Salman Khan and any actress. Naturally, when his co-star turns out to be Katrina Kaif, you aren’t half as surprised anymore. That said, in Ek Tha Tiger, the chemistry wasn’t just loving but sexy in a number of ways. In fact, critics claim this is one of the major reasons as to why Ek Tha Tiger worked. And while we may know of their off screen relationship status, for now we’ll take them creating fireworks on screen any day!

Randeep Hooda and Sunny Leone
You naturally expect scorching rising extra hot temperatures when Sunny Leone is around. What use would it be otherwise to cast an actress from ‘adult films’ in a Bollywood film? But when you add the über sexy Randeep Hooda to the equation, then the heat seems to multiply. In Jism 2, it was the palpable bold scenes between the two which had moviegoers flooding into cinemas. Whether it was the uncountable kisses or backless sequences which included a massage or two, Randeep and Sunny worked it.

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First published Bollywood Hungama, December 22nd, 2012