The Vagina Fairologues

I don’t understand what the big drama is about vaginas. Women all over the world will tell you that we pay a lot of attention to all aspects of our body but very little to our vaginas. All of a sudden, we’ve put the Indian women's vagina under the microscope. Like it was hard enough to be a woman what with the waxing, our monthly menstrual and childbirth, here’s another issue: whitening your vagina. And while the rest of the world are going “hai tauba”, crying “blasphemy” and tweeting “#WTF”, I actually have no real issue with Clean and Dry Intimate Wash. I do have a major issue with the television advertisement but zero problems with the product itself. Now don’t go judging me; hear me out already.

Eons ago, the problem was pubic hair. It just wasn’t sexy, hot, erotic and so on. Men all over will tell name their favorite Playboy models who pose in the nude sans a single body hair. So off we went to wax every single piece of hair off our smooth silky bodies. We dealt and still deal with the excruciating pain of Brazilian, Hollywood and various types of vaginal waxing, why? All for the sake of looking sexy. And yeah, also because apparently it’s hygienic which is really up for debate. Hygienists will tell you, pubic hair serves as protection to infection and bacteria. Anyhow, all for the sake of looking like Playboy models who pose nude (while we don’t), off it all comes, one waxing strip at a time. I don’t hear anyone going on about how that is “so wrong” and “why can’t we be accepted for owning hairy vaginas?” Where were ya’ll then?

Out comes this Clean and Dry Intimate Wash which not only washes but bleaches your vagina and then everyone becomes an activist towards vaginas. What is the bloody big deal? I’m not saying it’s right or wrong but to each woman their own. I hardly think this should become a national controversy.

My issue is the commercial which is now being aired on televisions all across India. The setup and situation presented is hardly one that normal. A husband ignoring his wife because her vagina isn’t fair enough, or so we're meant to comprehend, is really not a mundane enough example. And then of course, she uses the wash and badda-bing, he’s ready to get his freak on. Okay, really? Let’s be honest here, as long as men are getting some, they are hardly ones to sit and investigate how fair, or not, their woman’s vagina is.

India is a society based on fairness. As young girls, we were kept out of the sun for that reason only, “You’ll get dark!” Is it right? No, of course not. But we are slowly moving away from the idea of it. We’re more accepting of dusky, darker women—they’re equally as sexy. But really, we’re making far too big a deal about this whole ordeal. It’s just your regular feminine wash which happens to fair you up down there. So what?

If nothing, this entire ordeal has caused a lot more Indian women to pay more attention to their vaginas. That’s for sure.