Ban These Fools Too!

Offo! I’m already sick of this Shah Rukh Khan behaving badly hoopla. Without getting into details and taking sides as to if he was right or not, I hardly think he’s going to care if he’s banned from Wankhede Stadium. The guy can buy his own stadium if he wanted to. I think if anyone should be blamed, it should be Priyanka Chopra. Since the lady has entered his life vis-à-vis their so-called love affair, nothing seems to be going right for King Khan. Okay PC lovers, don’t go getting your panties in a knot on me. Relax. I was kidding. Anyway, like I tweeted yesterday, now if only we could ban SRK from films, we’d be good to go. Now don’t you SRK fans go nuts on me. You guys also relax. But that got me thinking. Which other stars needed to be banned and for what reasons? <Insert evil laugh here> Check it out!

Tusshar Kapoor should be banned effective immediately from taking such pictures. See, I’m sure his 10 fans fainted after he tried (and failed) to pull a John Abraham on the world. But those moobs and that really unsexy face (what kinda expression is that?) made most people faint from shock.

I’ve always said that post Fashion, Priyanka Chopra’s wannabe attitude hit an all time high. But more recently, I heard her speaking in an interview and basically, I wanted to puke. It wasn’t what she said but the way she said it. We get it; you have an accent—good for you. But we’ve heard you speak normally so just cause you’re abroad, there is no need to sit and turn it on. And because of that, PC should be banned from speaking.

If anyone needs to be banned from any form of social network, publications and banned from appearing in front of any camera, it should be Poonam Pandey. And there are a number of reasons for this, 1) she isn’t sexy, 2) she steals tweets, 3) she can’t spell, 4) she is a waste of space in the cyber world. She should be banned from being human even.

My ‘favorite’ Freida Pinto should be banned from India. The damned girl got super lucky with Slumdog Millionaire but since then her attitude has become very hoity toity. And then the girl has the audacity to claim that Bollywood isn’t her thing. Dude, Bollywood doesn’t want you; neither does India for that matter.

And then there are these ones:

Shahid Kapoor should be banned from all Spelling Bee competitions.

Karan Johar needs to be banned from making movies in London and New York. Make a movie in India fool.

Let’s ban Bipasha Basu from wearing clothes. She hardly wears any anyway.

And lastly, Sid Mallya should be banned from looking at mirrors. They’re lying to him and telling him he’s hot property.

Ban karlo please. Woh bhi now!

100 Word Review: The Dirty Picture

The Dirty Picture is Silk Smitha’s life story. But it really is Vidya Balan all the way. She’s bold, she bears and my god is she booblicious. The actors all “support” her aptly but she fully encompasses Silk in soul and character. The film falters in the second half while it shocks you in the first. Luthria is a director who yet again demonstrates his understanding of the subject fully. The dialogues are filled with vulgar innuendos (loved it!) and Ooh-La-La takes the cake. If you can’t handle the heat, stay away from TDP; it’s not for the small-minded or faint-hearted.

Quote from an avid moviegoer who sums it up perfectly: "Vidya Balan might have just introduced the world to the concept of 'Aesthetic Vulgarity'. Buxom is back!" - A.G.

100 Word Review: Love U Mr. Kalakaar

I’m a Rajshri junkie so I’m going to insist you catch Love U Mr. Kalakaar. A simple film about a struggling artist and a rich girl who fall in love but because of their social statuses, are tested. They go through ups and downs but of course, it’s a happy ending. Sweet, cute and entertaining, with a message, LUMK is a good afternoon watch. Tusshar Kapoor does superbly as does Amrita Rao. Ram Kapoor, Madhoo and even Prem Chopra were spot on and lovely. Rajshri is all about simplicity and with LUMK, they do just that. Sugar for your Sunday!

100 Word Review: Shor

Ekta Kapoor’s Shor is one that has already been making waves internationally. The city of dreams, Mumbai, Shor follows the lives of goons who run the “fake” book industry in the city. When they land their hands on a bag of weapons, they find themselves going green with greed. On the flip side, an aspiring cricketer has to pay a bribe if he is to get on the team and marry his girl. Fabulously captured with great performances all around. The characterization of Mumbai is beautifully depicted during festival season. Shor is a must watch…and not just for Mumbaikars.