Because No One is Gay in Bollywood

When Anderson Cooper (you already knew he was gay, right?) comes out and tells the world he bats for the other team, the west applauds him. They all cannot get enough of how ‘bold’ and ‘honest’ he is. And I’m, errr, not sure why especially since, oh, we already knew! The west has always been more open and accepting about homosexuality, so why the hoopla when AC comes out to tell America something they already knew? It was a pretty well-known fact that Cooper was gay and if you didn’t know that, well then, you’ve been living under a rock. I think I was more depressed when Ricky Martin confessed he preferred men over women.

But the real question is, when will our own celebrities – the gay ones, finally churn out the courage to come out of their closets? I detest the façade that they project. They’ll make films about homosexuality which indirectly shows their support for the gay community but mind you, they have issues in talking about their own sexual preference. Hypocritical? I think so. And I don’t understand the issue. India has become relatively progressive about homosexuality. In fact, the ‘upper classmen’, i.e. celebrities, are often praised and lauded for being so candid about such topics. For the most part, those very celebrities would most likely being plastered on the glossies and gain immense praise from the LGBT community. It’s the middle-class who often suffers and finds themselves having to veil their sexuality from the world.

“We [celebrities] have responsibilities,” they shout from the rooftops. So why is it then that Bollywood stars have issues in declaring their sexuality— which is pretty gosh darn evident anyway, and create a pathway for people in totality? Why do they instead dodge the question or alternatively claim they don’t care if everyone thinks they’re gay? If you can’t admit to your own sexual preference, then you sure as hell do not deserve to make films about the same.

In a country where people are often motivated to make changes and are inspired by Hindi films, acceptance and acknowledgement of being openly gay by the n amount of actors that clearly are homosexuals, could perhaps open up a door that the mango people (aam aadmi) are too scared to peek through. It wasn’t until very recently that being gay in India was finally decriminalized. And why it was ever criminalized was beyond anyone’s understanding. What two consenting adults do in the privacy of their home is really no one’s concern or business. Shouldn’t this issue be documented and made into a film? The problem ultimately lies with us. We, as moviegoers, are addicted to this “paisa vasool” phenomena that we simply refuse to watch a film that may actually tell us a thing or two. “Bore hai yaar,” we say. No, instead, we’d much rather watch a film where the actress is skimpily clad and dancing on a beer barrel. I just re-read that sentence and realized how incredibly moronic and archaic we appear.

But I don’t expect the industrywalas to take such chances anytime soon. Their idea of being “thoda hatke” involves films which are about reincarnation and superheroes. Yes. In the meantime, our gay celebs will continue to do what they do best: act. Because no one is gay in Bollywood.

First Khan, Now Clooney!

You know that the international media has hit an all time WTF when they decide that THE George Clooney is gay. Who are these journalists and what on earth has them even remotely thinking (or believing) that the eternal bachelor George Clooney would be gay? Not that there is anything wrong with it and in a way, I wouldn't be surprised but he really doesn't possess one itty-bitty molecule of queerness. But maybe it’s just that; the fact that he refuses to succumb to marriage and instead would rather keep (and enjoy) the Casanova label. But by that logic, it would mean that apna Salman Khan would have to be gay too? The Indian media has called Sallu a bunch of names; gay is not one of them.

Bollywood stars including the forever-married-and-committed Shah Rukh Khan, now-married Ritiesh Deshmukh, I-love-my-Bebo Saif Ali Khan and screw-you-all-I’m-dating-a-hottie Sajid Khan have been battling gay rumors forever now. When questioned about their sexual orientation, they all denied being attracted to men or one another even. Somehow none of us believed them and for the most part, we still don't. “Lies,” we say. SRK and Karan Johar waking up next to one another are now open jokes between the bum chums (my favorite name for them) with the latter even producing an entire bromance film, Dostana, based on the closeness between two men who were not gay. Was he trying to tell us something? Er, probably not. KJo is really not the "read between the lines" kinda filmmaker. A movie with a message from Karan Johar? I may just die of a cardiac arrest.

As a society, Indians are rather anomalous about homosexuality. Transgenders have been around for centuries now, we’ve grown immune to them. Indian men love the idea of some girl-on-girl action. “Two girls getting it on is just a scene from heaven,” a male friend said to me. But talk to him of two men getting down, and he shudders, “Gross.” Indian women, on the other hand are a lot more nonchalant towards homosexuality. We’re really not all that bothered by it whether it's man-on-man or woman-on-woman. "Do your thing!" I always say. However, my issue is with bisexuals. It is so wrong for you to bat for both sides—that is just plain selfish. Pick one already!

Our government, on the other hand, is rather iffy about homosexuality. They don’t know what to make of it. They can’t be progressive about it because of India’s ancient history and yet, they cannot sit and condemn it because of the progress we've made as a society. Thus, every time they are questioned about homosexuality, they choose to take the fifth. They stay miles away from the topic. And if any politician does make a controversial statement on being gay in India, the rest simply run in the opposite direction. Mind you, within the government itself, there is one particular man who is loved by the gay community: Rahul Gandhi. They love him for being a hottie, no other reason, really.

Bollywood on the other hand, love homosexuality. They poke fun at the subject as we’ve seen at a number of Bollywood functions, they make movies where the gay are mimicked and unknowingly create gay icons. The likes of Imran Khan, Ranbir Kapoor and even Abhishek Bachchan have all in some point in recent time been deemed gay icons. Two of the three are chikna stars while one can wear a pink shirt with great style. You figure out which is which.

That said, it’s the lads who are more than comfortable to play the gay card on screen. They actually enjoy each others company much more than they do the women. Whether it’s SRK and Saif in Kal Ho Na Ho, whose chemistry was the highlight putting Preity Zinta to shame or John Abraham and Abhishek Bachchan in Dostana, who even locked lips with one another and not the heroine of the film. The comfort level is incredible. Bromances work wonders too. The small budget Pyar Ka Punchnama and critically loved Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara were all about the boys. The former made snide jokes about women and sex while the latter was a more mature take on male bonding. These are the movies we enjoy though—a bunch of lads hanging out, being boys. When was the last time you saw a film about a bunch of Desi girls who a) actually liked one another, and b) were not bitching? And no, Aisha doesn’t count. Sadly, a film which displays women who are “close” often becomes a B grade film and probably explains why we’ve had only a handful of such films.

In India, you have to be gay at some point in time if you’re famous. You just have to. You can be married with children and linked to every actress you’ve worked it but you will be gay eventually. Everyone but Salman Khan. He is the only really completely 100% heterosexual man in Bollywood. Mind you, he’s unmarried, no children and currently, is keeping his distance from women. Right. I’ll say this though, there has to be at least one gay man in the industry. But until he grows enough balls to come out of the closet, we’ll sit and play the guessing game. And I think I have a good idea as to who could possibly in the running. What? Don’t look at me, I’m not telling.

Rainbow Love!

Better known as 'The Pro-Sindhi Post!'

Ever since my Sindhi’s in a Bubble piece, I’ve been crowned an Anti-Sindhi. I often hear from friends that people find/found my piece rather insulting and apparently, some even felt ‘betrayed’. I don’t feel the need to sit and justify my piece. It’s my blog and I’ll write what I want to (yes, I’m a five-year-old that way). But to sit and call me “Anti-Sindhi”, now that’s unfair. In fact, I’m a proud Sindhi. If you know me well, you know I love my heritage heaps; I’m all about Sindhi power. But I’m not going to sit here and stand by those who are participating in the ho-hum stereotyped way of Sindhi living. We’re in 2011 for goodness sake! If you’re still looking to conform and live a life of orthodoxy, then yes, please spare me from loving you.

However, today I stand prouder than ever because a fabulous story I came across regarding two amazing Sindhis who dared to be different. While I regularly hear of dreadful stories where a gay Indian man will marry an innocent Indian woman all because he’s too scared to come out, here’s a gay couple who aren’t scared to be honest about their relationship and go on to even legally commit to one another. And they just happen to be Sindhi. New Yorkers Navin Manglani and Navin Dargani were married amongst hundreds in New York City this July to receive recognition of their relationship after the same sex marriage law passed in the state (Rediff.com). The couple came out in full tashan as their dressed the part and happily indulged in holy matrimony.

Now this is when I really feel like a proud Sindhi. I dread to question how many gay Sindhi men are out there but are too scared of our rather conservative society; yes, I’m using a diplomatic word, trust me I’d much rather choose a harsher word. And this is the same in most conformist societies. Such men live a closeted life where they have a picture perfect life: wife, kids, and the works. But the reality is that they live a dual existence. In the case of Navin and Navin, they just chose to be non-conformers and honest (India Abroad).

When I talk of a new generation of Sindhis, this is exactly what I’m talking about; people who are independent in their thinking and living, who aren’t scared to be different and who are definitely not worried about what people will say. You really have to hand it to these lads. It can’t have been easy for them on any level.

I realized today, as community, if one person defies the status quo, it almost opens a floodgate for others to follow in queue. Whether its divorce (now perhaps too common) or marrying outside our community/culture, its taken time, but we’ve managed to accept these otherwise too modern ways of life. Perhaps what Navin and Navin have done is just open yet another door.

I don’t think they were looking for approval from anyone with regards to their relationship though. Either way, I cannot be happier for these gentlemen. Defying the status quo is what I’m all about and it’s great to see a lot more who are willing to say, “Screw you society!”

Here’s wishing you both a lifetime of happiness and love. More power to you gentlemen!