Rainbow Love!

Better known as 'The Pro-Sindhi Post!'

Ever since my Sindhi’s in a Bubble piece, I’ve been crowned an Anti-Sindhi. I often hear from friends that people find/found my piece rather insulting and apparently, some even felt ‘betrayed’. I don’t feel the need to sit and justify my piece. It’s my blog and I’ll write what I want to (yes, I’m a five-year-old that way). But to sit and call me “Anti-Sindhi”, now that’s unfair. In fact, I’m a proud Sindhi. If you know me well, you know I love my heritage heaps; I’m all about Sindhi power. But I’m not going to sit here and stand by those who are participating in the ho-hum stereotyped way of Sindhi living. We’re in 2011 for goodness sake! If you’re still looking to conform and live a life of orthodoxy, then yes, please spare me from loving you.

However, today I stand prouder than ever because a fabulous story I came across regarding two amazing Sindhis who dared to be different. While I regularly hear of dreadful stories where a gay Indian man will marry an innocent Indian woman all because he’s too scared to come out, here’s a gay couple who aren’t scared to be honest about their relationship and go on to even legally commit to one another. And they just happen to be Sindhi. New Yorkers Navin Manglani and Navin Dargani were married amongst hundreds in New York City this July to receive recognition of their relationship after the same sex marriage law passed in the state (Rediff.com). The couple came out in full tashan as their dressed the part and happily indulged in holy matrimony.

Now this is when I really feel like a proud Sindhi. I dread to question how many gay Sindhi men are out there but are too scared of our rather conservative society; yes, I’m using a diplomatic word, trust me I’d much rather choose a harsher word. And this is the same in most conformist societies. Such men live a closeted life where they have a picture perfect life: wife, kids, and the works. But the reality is that they live a dual existence. In the case of Navin and Navin, they just chose to be non-conformers and honest (India Abroad).

When I talk of a new generation of Sindhis, this is exactly what I’m talking about; people who are independent in their thinking and living, who aren’t scared to be different and who are definitely not worried about what people will say. You really have to hand it to these lads. It can’t have been easy for them on any level.

I realized today, as community, if one person defies the status quo, it almost opens a floodgate for others to follow in queue. Whether its divorce (now perhaps too common) or marrying outside our community/culture, its taken time, but we’ve managed to accept these otherwise too modern ways of life. Perhaps what Navin and Navin have done is just open yet another door.

I don’t think they were looking for approval from anyone with regards to their relationship though. Either way, I cannot be happier for these gentlemen. Defying the status quo is what I’m all about and it’s great to see a lot more who are willing to say, “Screw you society!”

Here’s wishing you both a lifetime of happiness and love. More power to you gentlemen!

Hong Kong Sindhis: Living in a Bubble!

I grew up amongst the very flamboyant Sindhi community in Hong Kong. I lived in a bubble surrounded by fancy restaurants, a great school, exquisite parties and pretty much the best things money could buy. And that was all I knew. For any occasion, a birthday, anniversary, Diwali, the entire community found themselves gathering together to celebrate. Tailors would go into overtime as the ladies were determined to outdo each other with their clothes while they showed off their big diamonds. And because I grew up amidst the glamsham, it seemed normal. I had no understanding of the world outside Hong Kong. We vacationed and even then, it was the best hotels, food and cars galore. And then I left the country and moved to America. All of a sudden I realized that there was a life beyond the fancies I grew up in. People struggled to make a decent living, an thought I was aware of, but didn't believe I would witness.

It's been just under a decade since I left Hong Kong and what surprises me is how much the community has evolved (read: not at all!). It's strange but for the life of me, I actually assumed that Hong Kong Sindhis would have moved on from the shosha but apparently, they are still living a time capsule. Courtesy of Facebook, I manage to witness the numerous amounts of events that take place regularly in the city at fancy restaurants and bars. And what surprises me that even now the creme de la creme of Hong Kong still party like its the millennium, which is great - live it up people, but have no issues throwing their money around for no reason. Every time I am told of an extravagant lavish affair, I always ask, "Oh! Is this for charity?" And then the answer comes simply, "No." This isn't to say that there isn't a certain part of the community who are driven differently and realize that there is a sensible way to spend their money as long as it goes into helping other people who are not as fortunate as them. However, for the most part, it simply is a good time or in my opinion, a waste of time as it serves no real purpose.

But what do we expect of a community that thrives on moolah? Look, its great to be inspired, driven, ambitious and wanting to have a good time. But somewhere amidst running from kitty party to satsang and then to a fancy dinner, it wouldn't hurt to spare a minute to think or contribute outside your bubble. Nor would it hurt to teach your kids to do the same.

So here is what I propose or challenge.

To all the Sindhi Auntys: Instead of wearing two diamond rings, how about just one? And the cash you would use for ring number 2, you donate to women who need a home. I assure you, the Kitty aunties won't judge you even though your pretty manicured fingers will lack a diamond ring.

To the Sindhi Uncles: Sell a car and donate the proceedings to a charity. Yes, you'll be a car short but guess what? You live in Hong Kong where the public transportation is not only one of the best in the world but accessible and cheap.

To the young Sindhi folks: Step out of your bubble people. Instead of spending every Friday night frolicking at Lan Kwai Fong drinking the night away, take that time and money, and put it to good use. Dedicate your time to an charity that needs volunteers.

Have you truly really evolved? Prove it.

Update March 6th, 2011: Just Saying...