TIME Mag Goes Booby!

Oh ma gawd, talk about serious hoopla over a magazine cover. Honestly, my initial reaction to this week’s Time Magazine cover was one of shock. Not because of its depiction but more so because I find it rather odd that any mother would pose in such a fashion for the camera. I’ve blogged about public breast feeding before and how it’s not a big deal per se but more sensationalized in America because Americans are such prudes. In Europe, it would have just been yet another day at the office. However, the whole idea of breast feeding until crazy ages of six years old is pushing it, in my opinion. And the reasons behind it are rather obscure, if you ask me. My mother didn’t breast feed me for long and trust me, I have a bond that is far deeper than I can even explain. I highly doubt that creating a mother-child bond has anything to do with breast feeding. What a load of bullocks! The one thing that everyone has an opinion about is parenting. All parents believe they’re the best ever and for the most part, that may be right in some ways. I believe my parents bought us up perfectly but they’re my parents so I’m biased naturally.

My worry is not the mother, who happens to be a model by the way, but the young 3-year-old. Did the mother, who is looking to claim Mother of the Year award clearly, sure as hell didn’t think about the repercussions of such a controversial magazine cover. And that too Time Magazine. This child will be ridiculed for the rest of his life courtesy of his model mother. So really, this “mother-child” bond will be flushed down the drain in a few years after he realizes his mother made a bloody mockery of him. And how many sick people are out there getting off on this picture? That may sounds incredibly small-minded of me but that is the sicko world we live in, no?

But there’s a high to this magazine cover. Check out the top right hand area of the cover: “God of Cricket” – it’s Sachin baby!

Beyond the Nip Slip

During a Euro trip in the late nineties, I witnessed my first boobage extravaganza. Let me explain. I grew up in Hong Kong amidst a society (and family) that kept us very sheltered. We were never introduced to many “modern” ideas. Okay rephrase. Besides alcohol, (I’m Sindhi, hello!) we were exposed to nothing. No drugs, no porn, no nudity at all. So off we go to Europe and all of a sudden, the world is now one sexy oyster. Amidst the numerous times we “wowed”, we found ourselves completely flabbergasted one afternoon.

There we were sitting at a beautiful café in the center of Vienna, Austria. On the next table was a local woman with a baby. We ate, they ate and all of a sudden, the baby cried. And then, what happened shocked the daylights out of us. The mother pulled unbuttoned her shirt, pulled out her breast and right there in the middle of central Vienna, she breast fed her baby. Besides our table, no one else cared at all. They went about their business while we all looked in shock. This was 1999.

Once we were over our initial shock, a rather odd discussion started. My grandmother was simply disgusted. My mother believed that it was the culture and that Europeans were far more progressive. But it was a local Uncle of mine, who looked at all of us and said, “What’s so wrong? It’s nature.” This caused a heated debate and while at 16, I had an opinion, we were taught to shut up when adults were talking. And so, I sat, listened and debated the topic in my head.

Here were are over a decade later, and Americans are debating how inappropriate they believe it is. In recent times, celebrities including Beyonce, who have been spotted openly breastfeeding their babies in public. Naturally, the American media has gone gung-ho over the whole ordeal. But if America is as progressive as they claim to be, why is this, such an issue? And really with the amount of cleavage American girls tend to show, this is slightly hypocritical, no?

My take on it is a bit conservative. I think motherhood is beautiful and breastfeeding is one such aspect of motherhood which forever connects the child to its mother. So really, why the hoopla over a public display of breastfeeding, right? Right...and wrong. The connection funda is beautiful in theory, but it is also should be a private one. Really whipping out your boob in public is hardly ladylike also. Maybe this has something to do with my culture and its rather deep influence on my values. I don’t think any Indian woman would ever nurse in public. We’ll cover up with a dupatta, a towel, a shawl but no way will you catch us unhooking our sari blouses in the middle of a shaadi. No jee. We’re more than happy to wear clothes with plunging necklines but that’s all you’ll get to see. And I don’t care how modern we are; we’re just not those kinda girls I guess.

All Garam, No Sharam Awards: Boobalicious in 2011!

It’s finally that time folks, where we crown the diva who has worked, what is perhaps the most crucial asset to any heroine in Bollywood. Yes, guys and dolls, this is mother of the All Garam, No Sharam Awards: The Rack of the Year. In the past, our actresses have been slightly conservative with the amount of cleavage they display. Now however, actresses are hotter than the Sahara in July and displaying boobage hardly generates much shock value. This year there have been ladies who have let it all out (if you know what I mean) and others who’ve messed with your head and teased you. Either way, they are all deserving of a mention. Here’s counting down the top five ladies who’ve done it shamelessly in style.

5. Kangna Ranaut
Where did those boobs come from? That is the real question here. Known for being flat-chested and how, it surprised moviegoers when all of a sudden Kangna Ranaut was seen looking boobalicious in Rascals. Whether it was in her white bikini or in the low-necked dresses she sported, her new “friends” were in the limelight. And you can be sure, you’ll see more of them in the future.

4. Bipasha Basu
There was a time where Bipasha Basu’s honkers made tongues wag among other things. And while they still make eyes widen, we see far too less of her…and her boobies. So this year, we caught her exposing her assets at the IIFA 2011 Fashion Show where she walked the ramp for Sabyasachi Mukherjee. Small choli intact, Bipasha strut her stuff as she revealed her babies.

3. Kareena Kapoor
Bebo is not only bootylicious and poutalicious but the pretty Kapoor also has one of the hottest racks in the industry. Kareena’s Chammak Challo number showed quite a good amount of boobage which looked incredibly hot behind that sizzling red choli. Sadly, there are no good images that do justice to her jobes in the song. But to confirm her that she is indeed boobaclious, this should do.

2. Mallika Sherawat

She has one of the best set in the industry, hands down. Perhaps if we appreciated Mallika Sherawat’s beamers a bit more, she’d ditch Hollywood for us. This year we saw play item girl to a number of movies but she did grace us with a sizzling FHM cover where her perfectly round perky breasts were displayed in full tashan. Oh and she did this topless cover shoot as an apology for Hisss. Thank you M.S. Thank you so much.

1. Vidya Balan
Viyda Balan may have starred in a film called The Dirty Picture but there was nothing even remotely grubby about her and her blinkers performance. They were all over the place! In fact, we saw nearly every angle of her breasts which spilled out of her choli and took over the screen. Despite the fact that she was rather chunky in the film, she still rocked her bosom exposure which were lifted, smushed and enhanced. However you look at it, she is this year’s queen and her boobs take the crown for the best guns of the year.

It's a wrap folks! That ends this year’s installment of the “All Garam, No Sharam Awards”. Thank you all for audaciously indulging in the best of besharami in 2011. Here’s hoping 2012 will be more shameless and hotter! Until next year, ta-ta.