Bollywood: Hai Tamasha!

Is she? Is she not?

I love Bollywood. I love it for the stereotypes, the prejudices, the forgery and especially for the drama. Lately, we've been hit with heaps of high drama from my favorite film industry. From Ash's pregnancy to Uday Chopra deciding to call it quits in films and Amisha-Bipasha's feud over wearing similar dresses at the IIFA this year. Either way, it makes my masala-filled mind work overtime, as I try and figure out why there is so much gosh darn high or haiiii, tamasha!

Let's start at the top. So Aishwarya Rai Bachchan is preggos. A stalk (what is a Desi stalk called by the way?) will visit the Bachchan's home in four months from now. Hold on a minute. Four months? So Ash has been tugging her little one along for five months now? Uh, okay. So basically, she knew she was going to be a Mommy when she signed on Heroine and when she out in Cannes promoting the film. Does anyone else all of a sudden see why Madhur Bandarkar might be a wee bit upset? I do. I've always said that Ash is a pro-manipulator. She can work her charm, plastic charm that is, but really, being so selfish in life is a new side to Ash. It really makes me question her priorities: motherhood or fame?  But what I cannot understand is where all this "pregnancy discrimination" is coming from. She is with child! How on earth does anyone expect to see her act in a film while she's piling on motherhood pounds? In fact, if anything, she should be opting out from the film herself or, madame Ash, you shouldn't have signed on the film in the first place! As for rumors of her being seen at an IVF clinic in Bangkok which specializes in ensuring baby boys, well, I don't know what to say about that. I understand the need for her to produce a male heir to the "throne" and we all know her womb is slightly old, she is in her late thirties, but a clinic? Really?

Monkey Chopra

Havoc broke all over Twitter when Uday Chopra, yes "the" U.C., announced that Dhoom 3 was going to be his last film. Twitter erupted into utter chaos. "Why! Why?" they questioned, "Why was he doing this to us?" No one could understand why the youngest Chopra was quitting films. So devastated was Twitter by this announcement, he actually began to trend clearly indicating that no matter how small (or big) your news is, if people care enough, you will trend. With his declaration, ends an era in Hindi films. What does his retirement mean for Hindi cinema? For starters, the YashRaj officially has no acting heir to their kingdom. They were counting on Uday to take the family name ahead with his acting "talents". However, it wasn't meant to be. The curtains fell rather quickly for U.C. But who will we poke fun at? The thought of having no Uday to sit and laugh at during films that he made for himself, well, that is so unfair. He didn't even think about us before deciding to quit. Haiii. I guess if we ever do "miss" Uday, we could pop in Pyaar Impossible; that one never grows old. For now though, it's shutter down, dhukand bandh for U.C.

Wonder if they remember
these days....

And as for, the Amisha-Bipasha dress ordeal, I vaguely remember the girls indulging in major beef back in the day. Maybe this is Bollywood God's way of telling you girls to let it go. How much will you ladki's fight anyway? So you wore similar dresses. It's not as though anyone was looking at you both. Let's face it; Amisha's career is DOA while Bips' is headed the same direction. My advice, Amisha no one cares about you, so let it go. Bipasha, cut the crap, kiss and make up; you're gonna need a few friends now since films ain't working for you and Amisha looks like she could be your best bet.

Hai Ram; the tamashas! Amidst the grueling heat, all this talk of drama really makes you want to indulge in an ice cool Limca or some chickoo kulfi. But since, I'm stuck on the wrong side of the world, I'll make do with some ice cold water, limboo maar ke.