Diwali Mumblings

The festival of light - i.e. Roshni, could easily be my festival technically...right? Fat chance. This Diwali I missed my family and childhood more than ever. And wasn't the big things but the smaller things that I missed. My Aunts homemade mithai, fighting in the office over who would do what, lighting diyas outside our home door, running around on D-Day figuring out where we needed to be in time for a pooja or for an office cocktail. From childhood Diwali has always been a grand affair. Then I moved to America and it has never been the same. While sometimes I prefer the anonymity that Diwali heralds in the States, other times all I wish is to be back in my father's office gorging on cocktail samosas looking, eye at the door, waiting for an Uncle or Aunt to enter so we could attack them and watch them cough over a money filled envelope.

But Diwali brings with it a whole range of connotations that have disappeared into obsolete. Besides the usual Ram returning from exile, the underlying meaning that is associated with Diwali is simple: good over evil; light over darkness. And darkness comes in different forms. To a blind man, darkness is normal. That form of darkness can only be eliminated by a doctor. But to the ignorant, light is the truth.

When I have to look at how light has affected my own life, I think light in all forms has provided me with immense amounts of inspiration. It can be as simple as a star, the sun, my brightness in my Grandmothers eyes and even the twinkle in my cousin Sona's smile; all forms of motivation. But I also see in light in the good that other people do or in their successes which ultimately formed my webzine. Light is good in every form; there's no denying that.

What do I want for the New Year? Peace, happiness, success and the usual. But I also want guidance and direction in my life -- which I'm hoping Lord Ganesh will assist me with by demolishing all obstacles and Goddess Lakshmi will help in by providing me with the moolah to fulfill my dreams. And Pritish Nandy twittered the following for Diwali which summarizes life easily: "If you pursue Lakshmi, she runs away from you. But if you chase Saraswati,Lakshmi usually comes along." And I couldn't have said it better.

Happy Diwali!!

Inspiration: Seek and Sought

I am always looking for inspiration. Not to write but inspiration to move forward in life and become someone. Like I always say, I don't believe for one minute that I was born to be a nobody. God put me here to make a difference - I just know it. For the most part, it comes in the form of a quote, or a line in a song, or a book I may read. But honestly, most of my spark to get on with it has come from good cinema. And perhaps, it wouldn't have been any other way. Thank goodness, that in more recent time, Hindi film makers have finally realized the importance of a good script. And while the actors may not be popular ones, their work is commendable enough to create a solid impact. How do I know I've been inspired? I shed a tear...or two.

The patriot gene in me is always alive and kicking. No matter what, a good flick that demonstrates great nationalism always does it. I guess it inspires me to be a better person, to appreciate my country and know that eventually I need to ensure I make a difference. Chak De India, is one movie that never fails to enlighten me. Not only does it remind me of my hockey playing days where I was a rugged and somewhat angry girl who was happiest when she was whacking a ball and girls around but it also infused self confidence in me. I realize that if a bunch of girls who had to prove their worth, before being able to play at national level, can go ahead and win, then anyone can. And it's not about winning a hockey match but about achieving in life.

Fashion does that for me too. It reminds me of the many (many, many, many) times I've fallen, had to pick myself up and said okay, lets try again. Mistakes are inevitable and after all we are only human. The climax does it for me in the film. Every time I see Priyanka Chopra face her fears and man up while dealing with an emotional trauma, and walk the ramp, I find myself burning with extra passion.

And when I'm angry or need fuel to fire my anguish to make a difference in India, I watch Rang De Basanti, Swades, Bombay and A Wednesday. Collectively, these films all give me a 3 hour crash course on how my favorite country has a messed up political system which needs fixing. And the only people who can mend the chaos happens to be the youth, who are not the slightest bit interested. Okay stop. Don't get me started on all that.

Lakshya, Jo Jeeta Wohi Sikander and Luck By Chance all tell me - "Roshni, life is not about taking the elevator...you need to walk up the stairs." And I think I prefer it that way. At least at the end, I can give myself credit for my successes. Like all the protagonists in the respective films, each had to fight to get to the top... some took the wrong way, others had to wait for their calling. In the end, success is yours to enjoy. No luck but hard work instead.

The one film that has inspired me to believe in real, unconditional love, which I wanted as a child and stopped yearning for after a few failed relationship, is Rubaru. Randeep Hooda is at his awesome self in this movie which really teaches you to cherish every moment in life and tell the people you love, that you do. Additionally, if a man loves you - he will do everything possible to save you from everything...including death in this case. I also learnt that men get comfortable fast and when they do, its not that they have forgotten you, they just know you're around. But what men don't realize is women need to be told they are missed, love and needed.

To sum it up, I couldn't put it any other way, "Vision is not enough, it must be combined with venture. It is not enough to stare up the steps, we must step up the stairs." [Vaclav Havel]

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