How Do You Like Your Hrithik?

Post Agneepath, I’ve rekindled my love for Hrithik Roshan. Yes, he said very little, barely danced but let’s be honest, this was definitely one of his best performances thus far. That said, I found myself realizing that Roshan is one actor who has experimented a lot in his career, refused to get pigeon-holed and still managed to stay as hot as he did from day one. While he’s sexy and he knows it, Hrithik is one dude who has played every role and yet managed to stay hot. And so I ask you, how do you like your Hrithik?

Romanchak Hrithik
This is perhaps typical Hrithik. In fact, he started his career with playing the romantic boy who falls in love and is willing to do anything for his girl. And then of course, he’s gone ahead to do it one too many times. However, every time he looks deeply into the eyes of his heroine, utters the words “I love you”, dances around a tree with her and then fights to make her his, you can’t help but sigh.

Patriotic Hrithik
Only Hrithik Roshan can make loving your country look mind-blowing. And it’s not just in patriotic films where he plays an army officer, but in a number of movies, his character has subtly been an India fan. Add to that some tear jerking dialogues and Roshan has won your heart.  Hrithik in loving-your-country mode is uber hot.

Dishoom Hrithik
When he’s mad, his eyes go blood shot red, the nerve in his forehead pops and his voice quivers. Hrithik Roshan in angry mode is like this only. But that doesn’t stop him from making you swoon. I actually challenge anyone to find a bad man/villain hotter than Hrithik. You’ll find, it’s impossible.

Snooty Hrithik
Now this is my favorite Hrithik. I absolutely love it when Roshan goes into “I’m too cool for school” types. Such a turn on. Somehow Roshan works the attitude, which normally women would hate, into a characteristic that is magnetic. Even as a snooty hoity-toity hot shot, Roshan is phenomenal.

Superhero Hrithik
Our very own Krishh can put any other superhero to shame. He can climb buildings, kill villains, romance a ladki and still be as normal as the guy next door. But add to that he has a killer persona which cannot be imitated and badda-bing, Hrithik Roshan is the hottest superhero out there.

Royal Hrithik
If I had to choose my favorite king, it’ll be Hrithik Roshan. As a royal baadshah, he took a Mughal king and made him appear as the hottest man with a crown. But it’s only Hrithik who could’ve made history look incredibly enamoring.

And then there is bare-chested Hrithik, dancing Hrithik, magician Hrithik and so on. He happens to be one of the few actors who can make a white shirt and jeans look hubba-hubba.

So I ask you again: How do you like your Hrithik? I’ll take mine with extra fudge, whipped cream, sprinkles and a cherry on top. Parcel please.

Pura Review: Agneepath

If you remember a few months ago, I complained and ranted about how much I detested remakes and sequels. It just makes zero sense to me. Are our filmmakers incompetent of making original films? In a country of over one billion, are we incapable of stirring up innovative plots? But what does anyone care about what I say. A lot of the time, what filmmakers deem a “remake” is actually an adaptation. And that is exactly what Karan Johar’s Agneepath is. So now because it is a variation of the original, it would be totally unfair to make comparisons be it the performances or script. In all honesty, I was completely skeptical of Agneepath in 2012. How on earth anyone could want to recreate an epic cult film? More importantly, why?

This is why.

The film is not as different yet slightly altered from the original. Vijay Chauhan (Hrithik Roshan) is just another regular boy from Mandwa whose father, the village master, lives by rules of karma and dharma. However, when he is framed and hung to death by the local ravaan Kancha (Sanjay Dutt), Vijay finds himself devoid of any of his father’s teachings as he promises to take revenge. His family moves to Mumbai where he is taken under the wing of one Rauf Lala (Rishi Kapoor). Over time, he grows to become a man who is eager to get revenge but not through Lala; solo. He schemes to take down his godfather’s family and reign as he moves to the top only to kill Kancha. In between, he seeks solace in the arms of his childhood friend, Kaali (Priyanka Chopra) who supports, marries and loves him to death.

Agneepath in 2012 is the 1990 version, only refined. It has every component of a nineties film—revenge, love, action. It puts you in a modern time capsule for three hours as it correctly attacks every emotion which makes the average Indian viewer tear via the mother-son discord and love story.

As a film, Agneepath is fabulously executed and filmed. You are pulled into a world which is filled with love and hate, retribution and justice, chaos and peace. Every scene of the film is shot beautifully, be it the chawls and slums of Mumbai or the island of Mandwa. Karan Malhotra’s vision and implementation of the film and stars too, is impeccable. His version of Agneepath is original and yet pays great respect to the Amitabh version. But what comes across very clearly is how he has cleverly adapted his film to the current rage of over-the-top melodrama films with the dialogues and action sequences. Look beyond the superficial surface, and Agneepath is filled with great nuances too. The reference to the Ramayana comes across instantly as Mandwa is painted a dark hell, Mumbai is bright, filled with life and love followed by the good over evil track. Malhotra knows this well and is definitely an aficionado the masala genre.

Agneepath belongs to Hrithik Roshan. We often connote great acting with dialogues and drama. This couldn’t be further from the truth. As Vijay Dinanath Chauhan, Hrithik speaks perhaps all of three pages of the script. However, his acting comes through the flaring of his nostrils, his blood shot teared eyes, his intensity, his body language and yes, through his delivery of the character. Add to that how that he is still as hot as they get, and boom, he wins with Agneepath. There is no long hauled dialogue for him neither is his drunk scene one that will go down in history but you will walk out of the cinema calling Agneepath one of his best performances ever. There is also, no mimicking of Bachchan Senior. This is his interpretation of the character.

And then there is Rishi Kapoor who scores as Rauf Lala. He works the evil into the character so darn well. A phenomenal performance. Sanjay Dutt is flawless as Kancha. He’s ugly, dark, grey and dirty just as you would expect him to be. He takes the cake when it comes to dialogues in the film and works Kancha into a great villain. Om Puri is as usual awesome and deserves a mention because he is rarely appreciated. Priyanka Chopra is apt but hams slightly in her small role which in my opinion could have been played by any other small actress. However, marketing works well in Bollywood. By adding Chopra to the film, the star power of the film increases.

So where does the film falter? Tomato ketchup. The gore and blood flows from beginning to end which makes you wonder how much ketchup was used. While the film excels in the first half, it falls a tad bit in the second; at some points it seems hurried. The music is also a letdown. Yes, Chikni Chameli is fantabulous as well as the Ganesh number. The rest is average minus the background music which is haunting but loud. And then there is the length—it’s too freakin’ long. Too long. So much so that it’s slightly exhausting.

In the end, Agneepath is a good watch because of Roshan. He packs a punch and works it. In fact, you almost cannot imagine anyone else playing Chauhan in this version of the film. I have to hand it to KJo, whom I normally hate on, with this one, he's redeemed himself. But only slightly. Agneepath is the old stuff in new fancy glossy packaging. This, guys and dolls, is exactly how you do a remake.

Footnote: Here's the deal for 2012. Films that are wicked, will get a Pura Review while the useless ones will get a mere 100 Word Review. Fair, na? 

Oh Ho, Bollywood!

The Khela Awards: These are real!

You know how I have this love-hate relationship with Bollywood? Yeah, basically I’m in a detest can’t-stand-you frame of mind with Bwood right now. It just doesn’t fail to irk me every few weeks. For starters, this happens to be the worst time of the year: award season. Great. So now, we’ll see over a dozen award ceremonies which will display the same shindig over and over again. Vidya will bag the best actress awards while others will split between Ranbir and Shah Rukh Khan – depending on which award function he hosts and so on. Bollywood ke raajneeti ka kya kehna? And then the dances, the clothes, the controversies, blah blah blah; it’s just such a hassle. Uff! Yes, in this aspect, I’m a hater. I hate on Bollywood award functions. In my opinion, they all should be banned. It’s no surprise Aamir Khan prefers to sit at home rather than attend any of these useless shows. This is the one time I prefer the west and their award functions over our lackluster ceremonies. At least there’s no nonsense with them. The stars attend wearing elegant clothes (no paan chewing, chappals wearing or tieless heroes here), win awards, speak for a quick minute and bounce. They last all of two hours. Anyone else find them uber super boring?  

And if that isn’t enough, here’s the latest on John Abraham and his new beau Priya something-or-another. Apparently, the very hot Abraham fell for his new girlfriend while he was seeing Bipasha. I just have one question: so what? Whoever said Bipasha was the ideal girlfriend? Everyone knows she was out painting the town red with a number of guys from all over the globe. And all this, by the way, while she was with John Abraham. So if her eyes, mind, body and lips can wander, why can’t his? C’mon people, we live in a chalta hai world. This should hardly be controversial.

Then there is all this hoopla over Sonam Kapoor dropping the F-bomb on Twitter. Okay, so I don’t love the girl, but are you kidding me? To all those of you who are sitting and judging her for using the word “fuck” (yes I said it, sue me already), I suggest you really stay at home and lock yourselves in your closet. It’s fine if you don’t use profanity but why is it a big deal if a wannabe actress says it? Normal people who have regular jobs use it on a minute to minute basis, no issues there. Please don’t even sit and tell me that just because she’s a celeb, she can’t use it. Sonam Kapoor is not washed in milk. She used a word which every judgmental person out there has used at one point in time. Nor does the Kapoor girl claim to be the ideal citizen or a role model, and if you regard her as your “idol” then really you need help anyway. This is the first time, and last time, I’ll side with Sonam Kapoor, but grow the eff up people.

Next week we’ll be “treated” to Karan Johar’s adaptation of Agneepath. I’ve been called a KJo hater— which I am, I’ll admit it. And thus, this is one film I am not at all looking forward to. The music so far has been rather average and I’m a bit worried about Hrithik in this film. I know he’ll do his thing but even then, comparisons to the great Amitabh Bachchan are inevitable. However, the real reason to watch the film seems to be Sanjay Dutt. I’d watch out for him— this film is going to change his stance in the industry; that’s my prediction.

With that I’m all Bollywooded out. Shutter down, dhukhaan bandh.