Sequels and Remakes: Nahinnnnnn!!!!!

If I hear one more piece of news from Bollywood where filmmaker XYZ is in the midst of planning a sequel or remaking a classic, I'll scream. It's just becoming far too repetitive and straight up boring, industrywalas. Seriously. As if it isn't bad enough that we have to deal with Hrithik Roshan taking on Amitabh Bachchan's role in the ultra amazing Agneepath, but everyone's favorite (uh yeah, minus me), Karan Johar, is all set to make a second part to the "epic" Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Ghum. Is it me does or does this sound so damn ho hum? I'm already not excited for the sequel. Apparently, there's gonna be something about the brothers splitting up courtesy of the business, blah blah. But *oh ma gawd* the cast are crew are so excited (rolls eyes). Look, K3G was great at the start of the millennium but honestly, all that cheese only works in Rajshri films now. Karan's rendition of cheesiness is so freakin' 2000 and late; it makes me want to barf. Yes, I've seen K3G numerous times and yes, it was awesome...when I was 18! But now, a decade later, I flinch when I see any scene of the film. The music of course, never gets old. Now that's epic.

But it's not fair to only oust my 'favorite' victim Karan Johar. After the success of Zindagi Milegi Na Dobara, Zoya Akhtar is actually considering a sequel to her recent offering. But what could it possibly consist of? The lads off on yet another trip to solve issues in their forties? Or maybe we'll get a glimpse of what a Desi midlife crisis looks like. More importantly, what will the film be called? Zindagi Milegi Na Dobara...Phir Se (?) Goodness, that in itself puts me off.

Don 2 is headed our way this year. And while I'm a fan of the original (Amitabh wala) and also the modern version (SRK one), I don't know if Don 2 will hit my 'action girl' buttons. Same goes with Dabangg 2, when it does happen, I don't know if I want to see Chulbul Pandey again. Once is a charm, no?

One of the few sequels, it's a series rather, which really worked for me personally is Golmaal and fine, even Munnabhai. But then that's a totally different ballgame. Most sequels lose their momentum, pace and even point. By the end of it, you ask yourself, "What on earth just happened?" The only film which deserves and I'm aching to see a sequel to is the cult film (and my ultimate favorite), Andaz Apna Apna. Sallu Miyan and Aamir Bhai together with hopefully Lolo and Ravs; heaven! The dialogues, the music, the sequences were all phenomenal. But those are some big shoes to fill when you have a classic like AAA to follow.

And while we're on the topic of sequels, I'd love to see Hum Aapke Hain Kaun and Hum Saath Saath Hain part two. I wonder how the Rajshri's would take forward these family dramas. Actually negative. I have a feeling these would turn into major saas-bahu serials in the end. All hail Ekta Kapoor. And how can the 'Serial Queen' be left behind? She too has been bitten by the sequel bug. Once Upon A Time in Mumbaai is all set to have a part two with Akshay Kumar in the lead. Kahan Ajay Devgn, kahan Akshay Kumar yaar. I'm already scared.

However, it's not the sequels that irk me as much as the remakes. Look, if you can't think of new ideas or plots, don't make films. But please, leave our originals. There's a reason they're crowned with titles such as "epic" and "legendary"; so foolish filmmakers won't realize years later to remake them!

After a while, it gets so damn boring that you find yourself getting off to original films which are different and unique. This is why youngistan is watching (and re-watching) the likes of Delhi Belly and Shaitaan. Not only does it hit home but the film is honest, relevant, young and awesome in so many ways. You know what, I'd rather watch a shady irritating shoddy film ala Tees Maar Khan (yes, even that) over a bad remake which ruins the original or a sequel that destroys its predecessor.

In true Bollywood fashion, I'd just like to say, "Bhagwan ke liye sequels aur remakes ko chor do!"