Bollywood Retro Music Kill!

See, I'm all about New Age Hindi films and the progression of Hindi music in India today. It's moving along just right and yes, we are capable of competing at international levels. Our musicians are rock stars! But they happen to also be murderers. Yes, they rape, kill and ruin Hindi music from time to time. And yet again, we are witnessing or rather hearing, another khoon! The murder of Retro Hindi Music. It hurts people, dard hota hai yaar. I've never been for the idea of remaking popular old school films but recreating old hits, remixing them and then destroying the very essence of them? Now, that is plain sick. It started with copy-cat and chor Pritam. His rendition of Dum Maro Dum made my heart ache. How? How could he take a classic, which was sung by Asha Bhosle and danced to by the foxy and fine Zeenat Aman, and slaughter it so damn bad? If you haven't heard/seen the song, I suggest you don't. Or maybe you should. But you've been warned and if you want to pull your hair out, I understand.

While I have no khunaas with Anushka Manchanda and Deepika Padukone, singer and dancer to the 2011 version, no one can replace Bhosle and Zeenat Baby. No one. But what irks me the most is the manner in which the song has been demolished. The aatma (soul) of the track has completely vanished. It's been remixed, changed and destroyed. The intro gives you hope for something upbeat and exciting. Then, the lyrics start. And you are left gobsmacked. One line actually goes, "Unche se uncha banda, potty pe baithe nanga". Enough said.

And as if Bollywood didn't enjoy destructing one of Zeenat's best songs, they went ahead and killed another, Laila Oh Laila. Sigh. Why Bollywood, why? Kyun kar rahe ho aisa? My association with Laila Oh Laila goes all the back to my childhood days. It's my connection to retro music for heavens sake! Forget that it's a cult number that I adore because it bought together the hottest couple of the eighties, Feroz-my-favorite-Khan and Zeenat-hubba-hubba-Aman, but instead of keeping it aesthitically enticing, it's been belittled by Yana Gupta. Yuck! Her gyrating ways are vulgar and so last year. Been there, done that Yana. I don't remember Zeeny gyrating at all. It was all about being sexy without trying. Mathematically put, Yana + Laila < Zeenat + Laila. She completely whores it out completely.

Look, it's fine to incorporate cult-hits to your films but please do so respectfully. Don't ruin music that is legendary. I don't remember the last time I heard a good remix which means...avoid. This year, Bollywood has mindlessly managed to destroy two Zeeny baby songs only to make them sound tacky and tasteless. And I'll never forgive you for that Bollywood. Katti.

Give me some Jhankar Beats remixed numbers anyday!