You’ve probably figured out by now that I am incapable of speaking diplomatically. And what irks me more than anything in the world are people or rather celebs that are useless but walk around like they are successful for whatever reason. But then again, it is these very personalities that drive me to write and rant more and more. There are a number of these so-called celebs who never fail to piss me off. And today I dedicate an entire write up to them; for their ability to be nothing and yet have the audacity to name call themselves celebrities. Oh whatever.

When it comes to Karan Johar, my blood boils. I cannot fathom how it is that Karan Johar is a) still around, and b) actually has the finances to fund films that are trashy and plain stupid. And it isn’t like he isn’t capable of good work. As a director, he has given us one good film: Kuch Kuch Hota Hain. And then, he went into “I am awesome!” mode after which he has failed nonstop. Yes, we have been treated to a number of Johar directed useless films. You know what Karan Johar does best? Suck up to the stars. So basically, he would best as an ass-kisser, if that was a real-job at all. I think somewhere down the line he realized that he had to utilize his ass-kissing skills would come in handy IF he made proper use of it. And thus, out came the legendary Koffee with Karan. Now, I have seen every episode. However in my defense, I only watched KWK because it gave me more reason to poke fun at K-Jo. And now of course, the director has supposedly fallen into depression courtesy of his “protégés” (read: wannabes). Yes, believing in his new band of boys, the KJo donned the producer hat only and took on their scripts giving them the chance of a life. And what happened next was a series of bad flop films. It is for this apparent reason that Karan Johar has decided to take a small sabbatical from film making and is apparently scripting. God save us. What on earth will he give us next. Oh and he also has some issue with the media now. Yes, something about them being mean to him and so on. Uh do you blame them? Note to K Jo: Quit making and investing in bad films; the media will begin loving you.

And then there is the International Star: Frieda Pinto. Right. So basically this girl goes from no one to someone overnight courtesy of a terrible film where she had no role. Before she knew it, she was adorned with fans, international film offers, a new boyfriend, designer clothes and is plastered on the cover of a number of fashion magazines. All that doesn’t bother me. What irritates the crap out of me is how Pinto has all of a sudden become a “oh I’m not appreciated in India” character. Her comments never fail to make me super mad. First it was her claim that the paparazzi doesn’t exist in India. Uh, lady, perhaps you should ask big Bollywood stars how they are literally stalked by the media on a daily basis. Baat karti hain! And then her incredible naive comment about how she has not been “appreciated” or “accepted” in India. Uh duh! You ain’t worth it Frieda. Not only do you lack talent but a brain too apparently.

For the most part, I don’t mind Himesh Reshammiya, but when he goes crazy on reality shows and comes on screen, then yes, I cringe and hit my head with irritation. I would be fine if he continued to sing in his nasal voice and make repetitive music with cheesy lyrics. At least I would have a choice in the matter. But when he is on my favorite reality singing show or his movie is on the verge of release, it is impossible to get rid of him. He is always around. Definitely not fun. And what’s up with his attitude?

And while I’m on it, the following also irritate me on occasion of different reasons:

Mallika Sherawat: Her wannabe accent and Hollywood-is-for-me-not-Bollywood diva attitude is so lame.

Abhishek Bachchan: His put-on American accent is so boring.

Sonam Kapoor: For constantly claiming that she was born with a silver spoon in her mouth. Dude, you are a bad actress irrespective.

Just writing about all these people has literally pissed me off. To all of them I say, a big fat WHATEVER.

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