Desi Girl Talks Cricket World Cup!

March 12th, 2011:
India vs. South Africa

Today Desi Girl, who adores, loves and breathes cricket, is unhappy. Yes, India did not do too well today and thus, I feel a bit blue (pun intended). South Africa. A beautiful country with a pretty gosh darn good cricket team. But hello, what chance did they stand in front of our maa da laadlas in blue, right? In a pre-match discussion with my father, he said to me, "Roshni, India doesn't need to win this match. They'll still move ahead. Don't stress it." And what did I do? I stressed. Quickly, I then went in search of some consolation and came upon the uber trustworthy Castrol Cricket Index. By sheer research in the form of their fabulous index system, I was informed straight off the bat that India's chances for winning the World Cup was all of...20%. Immediately, I went in research of how both teams have faired with each other in the past. In the bargain, I was given a whole range of numbers which included individual player stats. However, what truly amazed me were the comparison between teams. According to the Castrol Index: Team Performance , India stands on top with an index rating of 395 when it comes to Batting but they fall all the way at number 8 when it comes to bowling with an index rating of 189! And post the match, I would realize how true this index system turned out to be.


*What a beautiful batting ground it was! Sigh. Nagpur, Vidarbha Cricket Association Stadium, was a party every Indian cricket lover should have attended.

*Sehwag scared the daylights out of us initially! After smacking the ball for a 4 in the first ball itself, he went on to go seriously risky! A few unorthodox hits here and there, he was gearing up for a feisty match. And then, he looked to the sky, chanted a mantra, shed his helmet for a cap and darlings, Viru went on to do what he does so well! Every wide and short ball was smacked around the ground.

*And then, the god of cricket decided he too had to get in on the fun. Sachin then went on to hit 111 of the best runs ever seen. It was a sight for every cricket lover. His straight drives, the sixes and his fantastic running between the wickets was just sheer beauty! Setting the stage and foundation for his team, he did what he does best: played cricket!

*Hello Gauty! I just want to say one quick thing: aapki performance se, Desi girl khush hua! 69 baby! Very very nice. We really do need to see more of ya!

*Steyn Steyn Steyn. All we heard was, "Watch out for him!" I thought, "Che! Steyn ki aisi ki thesi." Uh yeah, the dude went on to kick India's butt! The boys in blue went back to the pavillion one by one courtesy of his bowling numbers: 5/50.

*Holler Hashim Amla and Jacques Kallis! Wow! I had no idea how well you lads knew the game. And honestly, 1000 apologies. Great play lads! Fabulous way to set the bar and create a base for your team. Kudos!

*Salute South African middle order! At least you can support your top order batsmen; unlike the men in blue. Enough said.
*If anyone deserves some mention from the bowling attack on the Indian team, it has to be sada Harbhajan. I mean while the rest of our bowlers, well plain SUCK, it was Bhaji who came on to do something worthwhile for the team. Shukriya Bhaji! 


*Sorry but the South Africa bowling, which ranks amongst the top five in the Castrol Cricket Index, was in complete shambles when Viru and Sach came out to bat. Helter-skelter was the word of the day as they fumbled to get our dudes out. Apologies lads, but when our top players come on to the field, this is what happens: carnage! So we understand that you needed to use 7 of your 12 players on the team (wink wink)!

*Damn you middle order! What on earth happened to you? At one point we were 267/1 and then 296 all out! Please explain yourselves.

*Why did Dhoni mess up the batting order? And why was our Power Play lacking oh um, POWER!

*Indian Bowling. Need I say more?

*Nehra taking the last over. Please spare me from explaining my agony watching that particular over. Painful...and how!

Normally, I sit and write a conclusion, summarize my feelings and thoughts. Today I will sit and write a note to the captain, Mr. M.S. Dhoni.

Dear Captain Saab,
Today, I speak to you not as a critic but as a Desi girl who loves cricket. Dude, today your comments post the match were plain disgraceful. The moment you uttered, "We must play for the team and not supporters," I lost respect for you. When did YOU play for the team today? Batao. You played for no one today. Not the team, not the supporters and definitely not your country. Explain the reason behind messing up the middle order? No answer, na? Do you realize every time bechara Sachin comes on to do his thing, play selfless cricket, you and your team never support him. Oh whatever, Dhoni. Today you have proved to us that you are unambitious, uneducated and definitely un-Indian. I'd rather see Rani Mukherjee in her Dil Bole Hadippa avatar along with Bhuvan and his team from Lagaan
Sincerely, a disappointed Desi girl.

India plays West Indies on the 20th of March in Chennai. Sigh. Hopefully some Rajnikant aura will circulate around the men in blue. My recommendation to them is simple: watch Robot. Over and out.

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