Karan Johar - Paris Hilton: #SamePerson

Karan and Paris: Same to Same

I’m a bit amused at all the hoopla surrounding Paris Hilton’s arrival to India. I’m also slightly unsure as to why it’s even a big deal. Sure she's here to launch some accessory line (yeah, I won't be buying. I like my accessories as Desi as they get) but so what? As of now, I’ve received a number of emails asking me if, “I’d like to party with the Heiress, the icon, the falana.” Of course, I smirk and hit the delete button. But again I ask, what is the big bloody deal? And then I started to ponder about a few things. For starters, who is the equivalent to Paris Hilton in India? And if we have one, would they receive the same ruckus as Paris is?

Let’s first define what makes a Paris Hilton who she is. Bratty tendencies. Sex tape. Social butterfly. Hit reality show. Money bag. Celebutante. What is she famous for? Nothing really. The girl lacks any talent nor does she really have any vocation. Keeping that in mind, here are a few options for equivalents from India.

Parmeshwar Godrej: She doesn’t really work. Too old.

Sonam Kapoor: As much as I believe she lacks any sense of talent, she does work hard. And no sex tape. Blah. 

Siddhartha Mallya: He’s pretty much famous for his last name and nailing Deepika Padukone.

Karan Johar: For some reason, I feel like K Jo is the closest thing to Paris Hilton that we’ll ever get in India. The only thing lacking from ensuring K-Jo’s position as Paris Hilton’s parallel— a sex tape. And I’m pretty sure there is one lurking around somewhere.

So crowning Karan Johar as India’s answer to Paris Hilton means that she would receive the same reception in country XYZ, yes? Don’t count on it. Look no Indian celebrity gets the same reception as the Hilton Heiress does because they are a) not as important and b) not as well known. And this after Karan Johar’s My Name is Khan is really a worldwide ‘phenomenon’ or so he claims. The number of times we hear of K Jo chilling in Los Angeles or in London is uncountable. But how often do you hear of the media going nuts over Karan Johar’s arrival being newsworthy? And really, how many invitations do you get to party with Karan. More importantly, if you did receive such an invite, why on earth would you even go? By the same token, why on earth would anyone want to party with Paris? She speaks like a lame duck, lacks any sense of intelligence but more importantly, and this one is for the guys, she is definitely not going to make a sex tape….with you. Just saying.

I think we need to really reevaluate who we think is important enough to party with. For example, I’ll party with Jennifer Lopez, she’s still more real than Ms. Hilton. But if you think I’ll spend money on partying with Paris Hilton, then er, no thanks not really. And since she can swim in money, why on earth should I even have to pay a dime! Hello! If people in America are not gonna pay any attention to Karan Johar, then peace out. I ain’t gonna bother with Paris. Even if Karan can’t spell and I’ve promised not to be friends with him until he learns how to spell Koffee, I mean Coffee. Oh look, yet another similarity. They both can’t spell. If you needed anymore consolation… well here it is. Over and out.

P.S. I just read that the likes of Simi Garewal and Karan Johar have actually snubbed Paris Hilton's visit. Yeh lo. Yehi suna baaki reh gaya tha.