Settle vs. Settle vs. Settling

It seems like all I hear around me is everyone telling me to "settle down." Where ever I go, "When are you going to get married and settle down?" OR "It's your turn now! Settle down now." The worst was my own mother today, "You really need to think about settling down now Roshni. You're coming of age." I sat at our lunch table, dumbstruck and gobsmacked. And then when I finally regained some sense of consciousness, I sat back and thought about the phrase in question: "Settle Down." In my mind, settling down always entailed having a job (check), income (also check) and a roof over your head (check again). So technically I am settled. However the Desi definition of that term is to get married, have children and indulge yourself in domestic bliss. And while that is perfectly fine, I don't understand what that has to do with settling down? Or perhaps, my family and friends are indirectly telling me to "settle."

I've never thought I would need to settle for just anyone. In fact, I vowed to never do that. To me, that just doesn't make sense. As it is my life has not been a bed of roses, and now I'm expected to marry the next man who enters my life irrespective of whether I firstly love him, secondly will be able to live with him and thirdly, will I be able to love him forever? But because I have a younger sister who is also of marriageable age and a grandmother whose only wish is to see one of her grand daughter's get married, I too must hop on the marriage bandwagon and conform like the rest. Uhhh...thanks but no thanks.

To settle is to agree to anything but the best, and I can't do that. I only deserve the best-- everyone does! If you choose to settle, that's your deal, but why should I do the same? I can't even settle for a bad haircut and I'm expected to settle for just any man? Whether its settling down, or settle down or just plain settling, it's not happening to me in this lifetime...or the next even if I can help it.


Photo Credit: East Coast Digital Radio

2 comments:

sanely insane said...

like i told my parents...its not whats wrong wid her, the right question to ask is...is she the right one...

am like its not a job that you want to get done and over wid

me life tht we are gambling wid, and one has to go in and place all my chips on that one bet...

and i'm gonna wait till i know which number i want to place my bet on...

sh..... said...

I loved the way you wrote..
Myself belong to the same group dear..

Really he 2 words i am bored to hear and almost fed up to death is 'settle' and 'marriage'
hm...

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